Staying overnight
Notifications OFF
Hi all.
In my ex's bail (under investigation) it states to live at his mums and no unsupervised access to under 18s. I think it also states no overnight stays at my house. In my sons safety plan by SS, it just says the same and names some appropriate adults who can supervise contact.
I'm going to ask my SW, but does anybody have any experience with this?
I basically would like my son to stay somewhere for the night to give me a break now I have him 24/7. But really, the only person who would be able to have him is granny (where ex lives). I'm wondering if my son could sleep in the same room as granny and this be ok? Even though my ex will be in a different room? in the same breath, some of his family relatives are stopping round next weekend there and staying in a different room to him with their babies. So not sure what the difference is for my son really?
I will ask appropriate people next week but just thought I'd see if anyone has come across anything similar or can see some huge issue I've not spotted with this?
thanks all!
In my ex's bail (under investigation) it states to live at his mums and no unsupervised access to under 18s. I think it also states no overnight stays at my house. In my sons safety plan by SS, it just says the same and names some appropriate adults who can supervise contact.
I'm going to ask my SW, but does anybody have any experience with this?
I basically would like my son to stay somewhere for the night to give me a break now I have him 24/7. But really, the only person who would be able to have him is granny (where ex lives). I'm wondering if my son could sleep in the same room as granny and this be ok? Even though my ex will be in a different room? in the same breath, some of his family relatives are stopping round next weekend there and staying in a different room to him with their babies. So not sure what the difference is for my son really?
I will ask appropriate people next week but just thought I'd see if anyone has come across anything similar or can see some huge issue I've not spotted with this?
thanks all!
Post deleted
I agree with daffodil, it will get you both in so much trouble, ss would say your not taking threat seriously and put you on child protection, also the police could remand him for violation of parole or rui orders, sorry it sounds really harsh honey but that's the risks xx
I would recommend not allowing any under 18 to stay over night if your ex is there. As said above people who are asleep cannot supervise. Does the family with the babies know of the investigation?
If SS or police find out then that will go against him if it goes to court. My partner made the mistake of thinking as long as I supervised he could be around my family members who are under 16. His SHPO states he is to have no contact with under 16s unless parents are aware of his offence and SS are ok with it. He got a caution but is now on his record and brought up often that he has breached his SHPO.
If SS or police find out then that will go against him if it goes to court. My partner made the mistake of thinking as long as I supervised he could be around my family members who are under 16. His SHPO states he is to have no contact with under 16s unless parents are aware of his offence and SS are ok with it. He got a caution but is now on his record and brought up often that he has breached his SHPO.
Post deleted by user
Thank you everyone.
I think I was in desperation when I posted this. On reflection after your comments - I think you're right and it's best just to stay clear of this, especially in relation to my son.
I will mention to him about his other family stopping round but he seems to think this would all be ok and they all know of the investigation. We have seperated, so I cant control that side. But I will keep my own son with me for now as I know I'm doing the right thing for the people I need too!
I think I was in desperation when I posted this. On reflection after your comments - I think you're right and it's best just to stay clear of this, especially in relation to my son.
I will mention to him about his other family stopping round but he seems to think this would all be ok and they all know of the investigation. We have seperated, so I cant control that side. But I will keep my own son with me for now as I know I'm doing the right thing for the people I need too!
Could the granny come and stop at your house perhaps? If you could then stay with a friend or book a cheap premier inn or something?
I understand how hard it is not having a night off. We love our kids but it can feel relentless.
Wth regards to other people's children I tried explaining to my ex that it's like in teaching. You don't close the door when alone with a student for example, or put yourself in any situation where you could be accused of anything. And if that's the rules for professionals with enhanced DBS then it's rational that his time around children needs to be accounted for everyone involved to be protected from any future allegations etc.
I understand how hard it is not having a night off. We love our kids but it can feel relentless.
Wth regards to other people's children I tried explaining to my ex that it's like in teaching. You don't close the door when alone with a student for example, or put yourself in any situation where you could be accused of anything. And if that's the rules for professionals with enhanced DBS then it's rational that his time around children needs to be accounted for everyone involved to be protected from any future allegations etc.
I deleted my last reply in a paranoid fit at 3am.. I'm really struggling with it at the moment!
I wanted to say good news you've thought rationally and made a decision.. I agree with Cloud,its about safeguarding everyone. The children and your ex. He needs protecting at this vulnerable time.
Big hug and lots of strength to you xxxxx
I wanted to say good news you've thought rationally and made a decision.. I agree with Cloud,its about safeguarding everyone. The children and your ex. He needs protecting at this vulnerable time.
Big hug and lots of strength to you xxxxx