Family and Friends Forum

If he's saying they won't find anything /has done nothing wrong then there is no need to do any courses. If they do however find something, it might be too late for him to enroll on any courses. My person was charged and sentenced for offences related to a conversation, whilst he admitted he's had the conversation he denied any intent as he thought it was role play and completely buried his head in the sand until charged. And once charges had arrived and we'd been able to talk it all through, he couldn't enroll on any course before sentencing as there is a backlog / waiting time. They also wouldn't accept him onto any courses unless he admitted he thought a real child was involved. My person pleaded guilty in court, but still wouldn't be accepted on the course because he stands by that he thought it was role play - I go round in circles wondering whether to believe him, because the worse thing he can do for himself and his future is to not be honest with himself as to whether or not he really thought it was role play. On the flip side of that, if he really did genuinely believe it was role play, I can see going on a course could be quite traumatic for him. I really wish I knew the answer, unfortunately unless he said he did actually think a child was involved, I don't think I'd ever know the answer.



By the sounds of if your partner doesn't need to do any courses / wouldn't benefit. He might need to do some soul searching. I'm sure there are cases where the police don't find any evidence but I don't think it's common.

You're in a very tricky position if he won't admit to anything.. I hope he's telling the truth because then this will all go away for you xxx

It's hard to suggest anything other than look after yourself - it's hard but you need to. I abandoned myself for weeks and weeks on end, but I'm managing to do things for myself now to keep myself strong and healthy for this battle. Maybe consider some therapy xxxxx

Hi, how can they still not looked at devices since October! That is so very wrong.

What was their reason for the knock and taking the devices, it'll be on the arrest sheet?

There is nothing you can do in terms of courses etc if he is saying he hasn't done anything.

It's a big period of uncertainty. Just look after yourself your children and make sure you and your partner keep communicating.

Social services need to see that you can be objective and accept that even though he says he hasn't done any you accept that he may of done something and will always put your children first.


Sending hugs this is a situation that nobody would ever imagine to find themselves in.

Sending hugs! I was in your possition until two week ago with kids and visiting supervised etc.

My partner didn't admit it to me for a long time. Eventually he did when I gave him an ultimatum. I told him the lies and deceit for the next year whilst we wait for court - in my eyes is worse than the crime for the family. I told him if he admitted now (if he had anything) then there would be room to move on as a family - if not - no chance after dragging me through all this for a year or more.

He admitted the next day when he was round visiting me and the children.



Since then he has enrolled on a course and he is working on it. He gets a letter at the end of his course that they submit to the judge as evidence he is rehabilitating :)

I have heard from lots of stories on here that judges seem more likely to give suspended sentences if the person is already enrolled into courses or making a mend :) Just from what I've read on here though.



but if he is denying everything and genuinely says he has nothing to do with it all - then he wouldn't need to do any courses! That would be admitting guilt without really saying it surely?



I do hope he is mixed up in one big mistake. I really thought my partner was too. When the NCA came to interview me, they did say that it's rare, but does happen (that people accidentally download or get hacked). So there is hope :) x