children at primary school
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Just wondering how your school age children have coped and if anything has been said to your children about their dad, by another child at eg school?
just trying to be prepared for any eventuality.
how should children react to another child asking questions or
making fun of them?
what should children they say?
I would advise not to react and tell the teacher however I know my children would definitely react!
Did you find that your children told their friends about the situation?
Any advice welcome
just trying to be prepared for any eventuality.
how should children react to another child asking questions or
making fun of them?
what should children they say?
I would advise not to react and tell the teacher however I know my children would definitely react!
Did you find that your children told their friends about the situation?
Any advice welcome
That is so so sad Lee. People are so cruel but as you say, much learned off their parents
Interested to get views from people who told their children before it came out too x
Hi Jayjay
Ive not yet told my oldest (5), but the sw keeps saying that at some point he will have to know something, regardless of whether it comes out in the press or not.
I understand the need for him to know something in an age appropriate way, but at the same time I desperately want to protect his innocence with it all. The way the sw is talking about it, that will be a conversation sooner rather than later (seems more like I'm waiting for her to get her act together, as always). So it'll probably be before crown court. (He was at magistrates last week).
If/when we have the conversation I'll let you know how it goes. How old are your children? Xx
Ive not yet told my oldest (5), but the sw keeps saying that at some point he will have to know something, regardless of whether it comes out in the press or not.
I understand the need for him to know something in an age appropriate way, but at the same time I desperately want to protect his innocence with it all. The way the sw is talking about it, that will be a conversation sooner rather than later (seems more like I'm waiting for her to get her act together, as always). So it'll probably be before crown court. (He was at magistrates last week).
If/when we have the conversation I'll let you know how it goes. How old are your children? Xx
Mine are 7 and so far ok. But I am going to follow this as I know it is ahead.
wodely reported in press, and well known in school
my kids know daddy did something wrong and is away learning how to be good which will take a long time
recently one asked what he did. I didn't have the words so I was honest and said that.
but not at all easy
wodely reported in press, and well known in school
my kids know daddy did something wrong and is away learning how to be good which will take a long time
recently one asked what he did. I didn't have the words so I was honest and said that.
but not at all easy
I'm honestly dreading this part so much. My youngest is 7 and probably wouldnt understand but my eldest is 12 so in high school.
They asked questions after the first arrest but since then they've just accepted the new normal.
If it ends up being the worst outcome then i need to prepare them in some way. I just dont know what to say to them.
They asked questions after the first arrest but since then they've just accepted the new normal.
If it ends up being the worst outcome then i need to prepare them in some way. I just dont know what to say to them.
Hi,
I won't tell my 8 year old and everyone has respected that thank god, because we were in the papers and my poor eldest was getting screen shots of the comments and they weren't nice but my youngest has had any bother no one has ever said anything to her or me and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible, I feel If I told her she would go in and then all that protecting her will be for nothing xx
I won't tell my 8 year old and everyone has respected that thank god, because we were in the papers and my poor eldest was getting screen shots of the comments and they weren't nice but my youngest has had any bother no one has ever said anything to her or me and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible, I feel If I told her she would go in and then all that protecting her will be for nothing xx
Social services made me tell my children they didn't give me any option so I had no choice which is wrong because I didn't want to tell my youngest because it was 2 and a half year before it went to court and all I got of every professional that was involved was how has you children copped with what there father as done and you feel like shouting how would you cope if you found out your father had some bad
I haven't had anything said to my daughter (she's 6) people obviously know as it was in the papers and all over social media but nothing negative has been mentioned and he's been in prison nearly 8 months now. One of her friends did mention she wasn't allowed to come over to our house but I just brushed it off and changed the subject. I haven't really had anything negative said to me either tho. I feel it may have been different if my daughter was older.
I told social services I did not feel it was in my daughters best interests to know her dad was in prison at this time. It would only cause her worry and upset and he respected my wishes xx
I told social services I did not feel it was in my daughters best interests to know her dad was in prison at this time. It would only cause her worry and upset and he respected my wishes xx
They are 9 and 11. I've had an ongoing battle with SW as they have wanted me to them tell for the last 6 months which I've refused. I said I will tell them when I'm ready. Magistrates next week, sacked from job and questions are now being asked so I feel it's time to tell them something.
Jayjay
If you feel it is the right time to tell them go ahead, or give them the info you feel is right. Don't be pressured into it as you will no doubt regret it later on. Your social worker does not know your children well enough to know how it will affect them or if it will cause them serious distress.
If you think maybe your older child will hear it from a 3rd party it maybe best to prepare them for this. Good luck with this x x
If you feel it is the right time to tell them go ahead, or give them the info you feel is right. Don't be pressured into it as you will no doubt regret it later on. Your social worker does not know your children well enough to know how it will affect them or if it will cause them serious distress.
If you think maybe your older child will hear it from a 3rd party it maybe best to prepare them for this. Good luck with this x x
Reasons they want us to tell children
1. to protect himself (treating oh same as a contact offender, he doesn't live with us and contact is supervised)
2. Incase it hits media/finds out from another source
3. To tick their box
4. SW felt awkward visiting and then not knowning why (I told them it was to check we are ok since Dad moved out).
ive been to prepared to talk to them this week and now I'm having doubts. I don't know what to do for the best.
Asking why dad isn't at work, asking why they can't sleep at dads, asking why dad doesn't live with us, also magistrates this week - these are my reasons for wanting to have that chat.
1. to protect himself (treating oh same as a contact offender, he doesn't live with us and contact is supervised)
2. Incase it hits media/finds out from another source
3. To tick their box
4. SW felt awkward visiting and then not knowning why (I told them it was to check we are ok since Dad moved out).
ive been to prepared to talk to them this week and now I'm having doubts. I don't know what to do for the best.
Asking why dad isn't at work, asking why they can't sleep at dads, asking why dad doesn't live with us, also magistrates this week - these are my reasons for wanting to have that chat.
I know I was like your the adult thats your lookout! Problem is as well my son has asked for them to stop visiting as they are 'annoying and pointless' :) I did pass this message on and haven't had a response as of yet :)
I have done the cartoon strip with them for when we are ready I just keep putting it off!
I have done the cartoon strip with them for when we are ready I just keep putting it off!
Thanks Lee x
Jayjay and Lee
To be fair, the words and pictures work is what they're suggesting they do with my children... I've told them that they're only to show them something that I've already okayed.
Their reasons are the same as yours Jayjay... mostly seems to be box-ticking, but also to protect them from any future knowledge they may get from anywhere else.
I'm definitely not happy for them to know the ins and outs of what has happened, but I get that there has to be something for them to understand. If only at the moment to give them a reason as to why we have a social worker and no daddy!
Hope it goes the way you want it to Jayjay. It's something I'm dreading. My 5yo is very perceptive and asks so many questions. I'm kind of hoping it will give me the tools to speak to him "properly" about it and answer his questions. I've been avoiding it all for the last 6 months!
The thing that worries me is that my SW has literally said that she has no idea how to speak to my son about it, because he is so tuned in, and he's likely to ask more questions than she has the answers for!! Xx
To be fair, the words and pictures work is what they're suggesting they do with my children... I've told them that they're only to show them something that I've already okayed.
Their reasons are the same as yours Jayjay... mostly seems to be box-ticking, but also to protect them from any future knowledge they may get from anywhere else.
I'm definitely not happy for them to know the ins and outs of what has happened, but I get that there has to be something for them to understand. If only at the moment to give them a reason as to why we have a social worker and no daddy!
Hope it goes the way you want it to Jayjay. It's something I'm dreading. My 5yo is very perceptive and asks so many questions. I'm kind of hoping it will give me the tools to speak to him "properly" about it and answer his questions. I've been avoiding it all for the last 6 months!
The thing that worries me is that my SW has literally said that she has no idea how to speak to my son about it, because he is so tuned in, and he's likely to ask more questions than she has the answers for!! Xx