My 14 year old has viewed underage pictures - police involved
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Hello everyone
I honestly didn't ever think I would be writing on this forum in a million years and yet 3 days ago my world fell apart when 7 police officers came unannounced to our home, with a warrant, looking for an offender of child internet pornography.
It has since come to light that my 14 year old has dug himself the biggest hole and I am absolutely terrified for him.
Using chat apps such as Telegram and Discord he has been viewing photos of girls his age (14) but within these chat rooms apparently users send links with hundreds of files attached and within those files some of the photos are of children younger, 5/6 years old. My son has viewed these photos also. In some instances he's also reposted links that were sent to him which contain multiple images (again a huge number of girls his own age and some younger).
I have all the internet safety settings in place, I didn't think it was possible for my teenagers to view any kind of pornagraphic material but it seems these chat rooms are a loop hole.
My son hasn't been arrested, the police so far have been amazing. He has had his laptop and phone seized. We will know more next week when the contents have been downloaded.
My son is devestated, his interest was to look at girls his age but he has slipped into a murky dark hole of being totally de-sensitised to what has been sent back and forth. He has never commented in these chat rooms. He is beside himself, terrified for his future.
I can't reassure him, in fact I can barely look at him. I can't eat, I can't sleep. My world has come crashing down and I feel like the worst mother in the world.
To make matters worse we are a blended family so my step childrens mum will have to be informed, and I have a child of preschool age with my husband as well and I am sick with worry about social services and what will happen.
The police keep telling me to remember he is only a child, and that on the scale of 1 to 10 this is a 1, but to be honest that doesn't reassure me.
Has anyone been through similar?
Thankyou so much.
I honestly didn't ever think I would be writing on this forum in a million years and yet 3 days ago my world fell apart when 7 police officers came unannounced to our home, with a warrant, looking for an offender of child internet pornography.
It has since come to light that my 14 year old has dug himself the biggest hole and I am absolutely terrified for him.
Using chat apps such as Telegram and Discord he has been viewing photos of girls his age (14) but within these chat rooms apparently users send links with hundreds of files attached and within those files some of the photos are of children younger, 5/6 years old. My son has viewed these photos also. In some instances he's also reposted links that were sent to him which contain multiple images (again a huge number of girls his own age and some younger).
I have all the internet safety settings in place, I didn't think it was possible for my teenagers to view any kind of pornagraphic material but it seems these chat rooms are a loop hole.
My son hasn't been arrested, the police so far have been amazing. He has had his laptop and phone seized. We will know more next week when the contents have been downloaded.
My son is devestated, his interest was to look at girls his age but he has slipped into a murky dark hole of being totally de-sensitised to what has been sent back and forth. He has never commented in these chat rooms. He is beside himself, terrified for his future.
I can't reassure him, in fact I can barely look at him. I can't eat, I can't sleep. My world has come crashing down and I feel like the worst mother in the world.
To make matters worse we are a blended family so my step childrens mum will have to be informed, and I have a child of preschool age with my husband as well and I am sick with worry about social services and what will happen.
The police keep telling me to remember he is only a child, and that on the scale of 1 to 10 this is a 1, but to be honest that doesn't reassure me.
Has anyone been through similar?
Thankyou so much.
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Thankyou both so much for your replies and kind words. I have honestly never felt anything like this before in my life, it's up there with the death of my parents.
I am questioning everything, where has my little boy gone and do I even know him at all. Did I ever know him? How can I help him when I can't look at him? Why didn't I do more, I should've done more.
The police seem keen not to go down the criminal justice route in that the police officer told me her sergeant wouldn't be looking to make an arrest given the content they saw initially on his laptop when they searched the house, plus his age. But to be honest that doesn't reassure me. I am terrified.
Social services will definitely be contacted, the referral is going in today. Thankyou for the advice about a family safety plan, I really appreciate it.
Thankyou so much for listening. I am so sorry we are all here.
I am questioning everything, where has my little boy gone and do I even know him at all. Did I ever know him? How can I help him when I can't look at him? Why didn't I do more, I should've done more.
The police seem keen not to go down the criminal justice route in that the police officer told me her sergeant wouldn't be looking to make an arrest given the content they saw initially on his laptop when they searched the house, plus his age. But to be honest that doesn't reassure me. I am terrified.
Social services will definitely be contacted, the referral is going in today. Thankyou for the advice about a family safety plan, I really appreciate it.
Thankyou so much for listening. I am so sorry we are all here.
Hi there, sorry you are here, as mother of sons I can't imagine what your going through mine was my partner. Firstly he's a child, he was gulible and had no sense in what he was doing I'd think, just a curious teen. Ss will be OK as long as you work with them, you'll get through this, one day at a time. I know its hard to do at the moment but let your son know how much you love him, he's bound to be terrified, you've probably already did so forgive me. Look after you too, communication is the key too. And I promise it will get easier as time goes by. Ring the helpline and your gp for added support for me I found it easier to speak to someine outside the family. Tell as little people as possible too. People can be very judgemebtql so safeguard your son and family from this. Hope your OK and we are here for you x
Newlady Thankyou, everything you've said makes total sense and I take all of it on board.
Im so sorry for all that you've gone through. X
Im so sorry for all that you've gone through. X
Thank you it's been so tough but luckily I'm a strong person but it did almost break me I was greiving for my twin also at the same time so I lost two people closest to me in 4 weeks. You'll be OK I know you will it will just take time xx
Nicnac29
Firstly as mums we look at where did it all.go wrong, but honestly these are normal emotions
But it is nothing we as mums have done but the guilt is enormous
Unlike you my son was 28 when he was arrested and we had 7 officers at the door at 06 30 am
Please reach out to the helpline they offer so much support
I really do feel.for you but as the others have said you need to look after yourself first as you need to keep strong
You will get through this and so will you son
Sending hugs xx
Firstly as mums we look at where did it all.go wrong, but honestly these are normal emotions
But it is nothing we as mums have done but the guilt is enormous
Unlike you my son was 28 when he was arrested and we had 7 officers at the door at 06 30 am
Please reach out to the helpline they offer so much support
I really do feel.for you but as the others have said you need to look after yourself first as you need to keep strong
You will get through this and so will you son
Sending hugs xx
Hi
I am so sorry this has happened to you. My advice would be no matter how nice the police appear to be , act with caution. My expereince is they only want a conviction regardless of the age. The youn person in our family was only 16 years of age when we haad the knock and he is on the autistic spectrum.
I ,in a million years, did not think he would end up with a convinction, but he has.
If the police do get back to you next week that is a positive. We waited ten months before they invited us in for interview.
I will post more helpful info a bit later.
Stay strong x
I am so sorry this has happened to you. My advice would be no matter how nice the police appear to be , act with caution. My expereince is they only want a conviction regardless of the age. The youn person in our family was only 16 years of age when we haad the knock and he is on the autistic spectrum.
I ,in a million years, did not think he would end up with a convinction, but he has.
If the police do get back to you next week that is a positive. We waited ten months before they invited us in for interview.
I will post more helpful info a bit later.
Stay strong x
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Hi Smile
Hope you are ok and your son xx
Honestly we look at what did we do or what we diddnt do to take blame x and the guilt is awful but I know we are the best mums our love is unconditional no matter what xx
Hope you are ok and your son xx
Honestly we look at what did we do or what we diddnt do to take blame x and the guilt is awful but I know we are the best mums our love is unconditional no matter what xx
Yep we're all good. He continues to enjoy the gardening - tomato king! Food still dire and yes it's curry with a pile of sweet corn today! (Yuk)!
hows you and yours?
hows you and yours?
I'm so overwhelmed by all of your responses and kind words, all whilst you're dealing with your own battles. I've felt so unbelievably alone these past few days. Locked in my own head with my own thoughts, I'm usually so glass half full but this is testing me beyond anything I've ever known.
Thankyou so much everyone xx
Thankyou so much everyone xx
Nicnac29
Been locked in your own thoughts is sheer torment our minds go in to overdrive so please reach out on here if not for advise just to speak openly about your thoughts and they say a problem shared can take the weight of the world off your shoulders if only for a short time
Hugs sent xx
Smile, oh god that sounds awful cover it in sweetcorn eh to make it more appealing your poor son xx
My lad is doing ok he is still on a bit of a high after our visit on Saturday bless him , he is still struggling with feeling hungry a lot of the time the food is still a.lot better than what your son has but his eating issues means he only eats a little but he has a lot of fruit and of course chocolate xx
Been locked in your own thoughts is sheer torment our minds go in to overdrive so please reach out on here if not for advise just to speak openly about your thoughts and they say a problem shared can take the weight of the world off your shoulders if only for a short time
Hugs sent xx
Smile, oh god that sounds awful cover it in sweetcorn eh to make it more appealing your poor son xx
My lad is doing ok he is still on a bit of a high after our visit on Saturday bless him , he is still struggling with feeling hungry a lot of the time the food is still a.lot better than what your son has but his eating issues means he only eats a little but he has a lot of fruit and of course chocolate xx
You're in total shock. I think what you're feeling is totally normal.
I abandoned myself for weeks on end and could barely move. The initial investigations occupied the those weeks also but we on the wait for devices now..
Please take the advice of the ladies here and look after yourself - this is harder than hard but you can take one day at a time and start getting through xx protect your son and be very careful who you tell. I have personally told no one except my work place as I had a contractual obligation to disclose and my sons GF and her mum.. they have since split up but she and her family remain supportive.
Your son has made a mistake - he can get through this. Please take what the police say with a pinch of salt. They are conviction hungry... getting blind sided again is the last thing you need xxxx
I abandoned myself for weeks on end and could barely move. The initial investigations occupied the those weeks also but we on the wait for devices now..
Please take the advice of the ladies here and look after yourself - this is harder than hard but you can take one day at a time and start getting through xx protect your son and be very careful who you tell. I have personally told no one except my work place as I had a contractual obligation to disclose and my sons GF and her mum.. they have since split up but she and her family remain supportive.
Your son has made a mistake - he can get through this. Please take what the police say with a pinch of salt. They are conviction hungry... getting blind sided again is the last thing you need xxxx
I am worried that the reason for the knock at my house late Feb is because of my son (14) and not my partner that was arrested. Due to various searches that I have seen on my sons phone. My son also has a history with the police.
Due to other reasons my partner is currently on remand in prison.
I feel absolutely sick and have disclosed to my partners solicitor.
My son is on the spectrum (high functioning) and also has adhd but has always been taught that he has deal with the consequences of his actions.
Due to other reasons my partner is currently on remand in prison.
I feel absolutely sick and have disclosed to my partners solicitor.
My son is on the spectrum (high functioning) and also has adhd but has always been taught that he has deal with the consequences of his actions.