Need help and advice
Notifications OFF
I received the knock on the door on Friday, completely unaware that my husband could ever be capable of this and still in shock as he is such a good man.
He has moved back to his parents and I am living in our family home 5 months pregnant and feeling lost. I cant seem to get hold of anyone to talk to and I'm so scared.
My husband was caught for the same offence 13 years ago and was given a suspended sentence. He never told me this and 13 years later has done it again. When I asked why he said its when he gets depressed it becomes an addiction and then goes down a rabbit hole.
I want nothing more than to take him back but I have an unborn baby to think about and what will happen to us. Has anyone had any experience of a second offence and the outcome? I don't want to be a single mum but I don't know if I'm going to have a choice.
I've started to set things in place to move to a another town and to get a place for just me and my child but again lost and scared so any help or advice would be appreciated especially where I stand with my unborn baby?
Thank you
He has moved back to his parents and I am living in our family home 5 months pregnant and feeling lost. I cant seem to get hold of anyone to talk to and I'm so scared.
My husband was caught for the same offence 13 years ago and was given a suspended sentence. He never told me this and 13 years later has done it again. When I asked why he said its when he gets depressed it becomes an addiction and then goes down a rabbit hole.
I want nothing more than to take him back but I have an unborn baby to think about and what will happen to us. Has anyone had any experience of a second offence and the outcome? I don't want to be a single mum but I don't know if I'm going to have a choice.
I've started to set things in place to move to a another town and to get a place for just me and my child but again lost and scared so any help or advice would be appreciated especially where I stand with my unborn baby?
Thank you
So sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. I can only imagine the thoughts feelings anger and frustrations, First that you've had to go through what you did on Friday night and then second that you have further found out that he has done and been sentenced for this before and that you didn't know.
The stop it now helpline is a good place to talk to.
Also I found the below a good place for information about social services.
https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/your-family/social-services-and-your-family/social-services-and-your-family
Emotions are going to be all over the place as you are 5 months pregnant (I am also 5 months pregnant and had the knock almost 16 weeks ago)
Try not to make any big decisions yet as its going to take a while for this trauma to settle in ( the knock, house being searched, threats of social services)
Social services will get involved there's no denying that. They will also contact your maternity safeguarding team. The process called section 47 enquiries can take up to 45 days to complete before they make a decision on next steps. Mine has been closed as my person has been remanded in custody since arrest and charges. So currently there are no safeguarding issues as he is locked up.
Take care look after yourself, you are stronger than you think and if you do decide or have to be a single parent you will find even more strength to be to. Do you have family and friends that can support you?
The stop it now helpline is a good place to talk to.
Also I found the below a good place for information about social services.
https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/your-family/social-services-and-your-family/social-services-and-your-family
Emotions are going to be all over the place as you are 5 months pregnant (I am also 5 months pregnant and had the knock almost 16 weeks ago)
Try not to make any big decisions yet as its going to take a while for this trauma to settle in ( the knock, house being searched, threats of social services)
Social services will get involved there's no denying that. They will also contact your maternity safeguarding team. The process called section 47 enquiries can take up to 45 days to complete before they make a decision on next steps. Mine has been closed as my person has been remanded in custody since arrest and charges. So currently there are no safeguarding issues as he is locked up.
Take care look after yourself, you are stronger than you think and if you do decide or have to be a single parent you will find even more strength to be to. Do you have family and friends that can support you?
Post deleted
Thank you for both your responses.
Lost123 do you mind if ask why he can't see your youngest, also how long he got in prison please? Was the prison sentence due to it being his second offence? I understand our situations are different but its good for me to prepare for the worse.
From both of your experiences did it come out in the media and everyone you know found out?
I have people around me and 2 I have trusted but I'm reluctant to tell anyone else because I don't want judgement and opinions.
Thanks
Lost123 do you mind if ask why he can't see your youngest, also how long he got in prison please? Was the prison sentence due to it being his second offence? I understand our situations are different but its good for me to prepare for the worse.
From both of your experiences did it come out in the media and everyone you know found out?
I have people around me and 2 I have trusted but I'm reluctant to tell anyone else because I don't want judgement and opinions.
Thanks
Oh sorry I think I read your initial post wrong, you actually put that 4 stay overnight.
How long did it take you to be able to pull yourself together enough to work out what to do and how to carry on?
Thank you so much for all your help.
How long did it take you to be able to pull yourself together enough to work out what to do and how to carry on?
Thank you so much for all your help.
Post deleted
Post deleted
Post deleted
Post deleted by user
Post deleted by user
Post deleted by user