Family and Friends Forum

Carmela

Member since
November 2020

87 posts

Posted Mon June 13, 2022 10:29pmReport post

So I was reading a news story about a man charged with viewing iioc and sentenced, in the news report it stated (I don't know why it did) that his daughter is distraught but is supporting him. So all the comments were saying his daughter is just as bad as him, needs looking into etc honestly got me so angry at these keyboard warriors You can't stop loving and caring for someone and you don't know how you will feel until you are in that situation and why did the press want to put that bit in. There needs to be something done with this, reporting all these crimes is causing more harm on all innocent family members than actually protecting the public.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 4:32amReport post

How I agree Carmela - people carnt get it in their small thick narrow minded heads because you support a family member it doesn't mean your 'as bad as them' OR you condone their crime..... it's certainly not fair to label the innocent caught up in this either.

Deciding to support a loved one in this nightmare of a journey takes the courage of a lion and much sole searching which we talk endlessly about on this forum. For gods sake leave them/us alone.

I detest the crime my son has commited that will never alter.. but, as much as that detest stands I love him and will do my best to help him on his path of rehabilitation. I know I am far from being a bad person.

Edited Tue June 14, 2022 4:51am

ACompleteMess

Member since
February 2022

57 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 7:06amReport post

Completely agree with this.
I've decided to support my partner because although he's done something terrible he's still the man I've loved for a long time, he's still the person that was there for me when no one else was. It's easy for people to read an article and make assumptions but they'll never realise how difficult and heartbreaking this journey is unless they've done it themselves. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and the time since the knock has been the worst months of my life. I don't in anyway condone what my partners done, it's vile, but at the same time I still love him. We've been through so much together I can't help but try and support him.

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 7:18amReport post

I like what Smile wrote, that it takes courage of a lion and much sole searching to support someone through this.

I don't know if I will stay with my person but I will support him, because I care about him and because I think it will give him and society the best outcome. I'd defend that to anyone that asked me, he made one mistake that will haunt and change his life forever, he doesn't deserve to be thrown on the rubbish pile and forgotten about though. What I would struggle to defend to friends or explain is why I'd want someone in my life that has lied, hurt me and who's restrictions will impact me for at least 15 years.

It's heart breaking to think about it, but these crimes are hugely increasing in prevalence, with more and more people being impacted directly or indirectly, in a way though I hope it brings about a real conversation where these issues are lead into and we try to solve this problem differently.

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 8:03amReport post

I have another adult in my life who had to know about our situation and she messaged at the weekend telling me that a woman at her work told her that her son was RUI for iioc.

She went on to say that's the 3rd person she knows in this situation.

It is rising so rapidly.

People are narrow minded on this subject and to be honest - until it happened to me, so was I.

Xxxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 9:45amReport post

Your so right Polly - how your opinion changes when your on the 'other'side.

Today at work folk were putting the 'world to right' as you do - the conversation got round to justice, prison etc then of course the inevitable was mentioned.

I just slide away when this situation arises...... at one time I'd find it upsetting but now, over time, I've grown a thicker skin!!!!!!

Edited Tue June 14, 2022 9:51am

Carmela

Member since
November 2020

87 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 11:20amReport post

Smile I feel the same I have definitely grown a thicker skin, I think you have to to haha xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 12:11pmReport post

I just wonder how my son will cope with such banter which he'll have to face in the community, in prison you are obviously sheltered.

still - what will be, will be.......

Edited Tue June 14, 2022 12:13pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 3:11pmReport post

I dont expect society to just roll over and accept what our loved ones have done but honestly its us that feel the full impact and implications, we have done nothing wrong but how our lives have been effected

I have no need to search my sons case I do know how much it had been twisted if only they were allowed to report the actual truth from the court, it's still crap but just the sheer lies really makes me so sad I hope he never googles himself once he is released

Xx

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 7:46pmReport post

Hiya ladies.



Myself I have stayed with my hubby from day one. Yes he did a terrible things and will live with it till his dying day.



I loved him from day one and yes he is my pain in the ass but he is mine. I will support him through this stage like I have done from day one.



xx