Family and Friends Forum

Sorry I feel like I'm constantly posting questions

So had a CP conference via zoom - which was horrific but that's another story..

Anyway my partners probation officer did not attend the meeting but submitted a report and it was read out during the meeting so I am just trying to process the information..



Question - should I have had sight of that report (and all other reports prior to the meeting) and can I get a copy of that report retrospectively as it presented exact details of the charges/convictions which were different to my understanding.



thanks

Surely I'm entitled as part of the child protection conference?



It feels like im under investigation not my partner who actually committed crimes.



These reports were read out during the meeting but I want to be able to digest the contents in written format.

Hey

Yeah he's pleaded guilty and sentencing is in 3 weeks. They referred to the PO pre sentencing reoort in the conference and read it out - not in full she summarised it so that why I'm assuming it is the probation.

im concerned that I didn't get to see and read the reports for myself (from anyone) I worked in child protection for several years and attended many conferences and it was always practice to allow all parties access to the reports prior to the conference - this didn't happen.

I was therefore unprepared and some of the details on the charges were read out and it was the first time hearing it.

I was expected to digest process and make important decisions within the meeting and this just feels a bit much.



I was told that they will move toward seeking legal advice if my partner 'insists' on remaining in the family home.

So I guess I have no choice. I do however want to ensure they follow due process and I want to understand the details of the offenses.

Ok so he Doesn't have a solicitor hes played it down from the start so it was communication, then it's communication with cat b & c images, now it's all of the above but he pretended he was a 19 year old... and that the recommendation was that he didn't come home whereas he told me he was allowed home subject to a SS referral and safety plan.

she read it out and then said 'I won't read it all just the main points' and I was just a bit caught off guard and after thought 'wait I should've seen the whole report ahead of the meeting'

we are having a heart to heart tonight and it's likely we will just agree to hiM leaving at least till he's completed some work which he hasn't done yet other than some work in his own.



He needs more than that but he has just been pretending this wasn't happening.



Yes def bullying brought up my historic MH issues from back in 2013 (no issues since) and questioned my 'decision making' and 'protectiveness'

I have agreed to all the safety plan and it's in place but also the lack of a 'network' is a risk factor. As I don't have anyone around me who can ensure adherence to the plan (surely that's their job and not some random family members or friends) anyway Im just feeling a bit bullied and attacked as it seemed to be more snotty me and not my partner.



eg no mention of his health history, family dynamic or the fact he raised his two other children alone from age of 12 (now adults) no issues concerns or disclosures.



it was all about me?!

The CPP is no unsupervised contact at all no personal care I sleep in with her in her room and he can't access any devices in her presence.



their issue is that they can't ensure I'm following the plan as there is no support network and insufficient evidence of the family as we have recently moved here from a diff jurisdiction.



my argument is they can't evidence I'm not following and it's up to them to do the relevant checks not other members of family?

Also insufficient history of the family is not evidence of abuse or unprotective parenting and they can obtain historical evidence from previous schools where we were all well known.

I love you ??

yeah he is in denial and that will be our downfall.

im under no illusions my partner has deep issues and needs help but he has to have hope and if he is removed from the family I fear for him.



these crimes were committed when we had split up we reconciled moved and then this happened :-(

I am more annoyed about their bullying tactics it's likely he will need to move out but I will still have no suppprt around me so no change either way!

I will not even have a way to get my daughter to school as I live in the middle of nowhere and we have one car - his!

I am trying to be practical and look at everything but to have anyone question my protectiveness as a parent boils my blood and I have no problem complaining about their tactics but yes I need to know everything and not be faced with nasty surprises.

Also re solicitor - when he was arrested the police offered him a solicitor but said it would be quicker without and as he pleaded guilty straight away he just proceeded without and kept it all under wraps.

He literally buried his head until his plea hearing and ge got advice from a duty solicitor and that's it. We can't actually afford a solicitor and he said it's too late now anyway ????????‍??

Sorry I love you for taking the time to reply - you have no idea how much it helps

sorry if it was inappropriate

Not harsh Daffodil absolutely spot on.

We had a long talk last night and he just can't open up about it or about why he did what he did.

He has a long way to go with his rehabilitation but he says he's willing.

I gave it to him both barrels and his reluctance to tell me all the details from the start and the entire way he has handled it has made it harder for him to stay.



I genuinely don't know how I feel anymore I haven't slept at all.

Thanks Sal

A number of issues I noted was that he told me that when he was arrested initially he was offered legal rep but was told 'but if you are pleading guilty it would be quicker not to have legal rep'

I think thats is totally wrong - not sure what that means legally but thats just wrong. I do think he just went along with it all out of fear and shame.

He has been passive during the process alot of this is denial and not fully grasping the enormity of the whole thing.

Hi Lee

He had a duty solicitor at the plea hearing who said he would represent him at sentancing but my partner did not take his details so he cannot remember who it is.

It is tricky as we now live in a different country and he will have to travel to England for the sentancing.

He feels there is no point in getting a solicitor - he is working I am self employed but we have low income and apparantly we do not qualify for legal aid.