First prison visit to son
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Hi. I wanted to let anyone interested or going through same, my experience. Yesterday I saw my son in prison for the first time.
I was terrified, couldn't control my nerves or tears. I tried to be strong, I really did. The process was frightening - being searched, sniffed by dogs, having all belongings locked away. I have to say the staff from PACT & most of the guards were so kind to me & helpful.
The visitors centre wasn't as bad as I imagined. I was told which table to sit at & wait for my son to be escorted to me. The other wives, sisters, daughters & Mum's were all so friendly and supportive. There was a soft play for the children. Whilst queuing to go in, a little girl came up & hugged me because I was crying - so very sweet & I'll never forget that.
There was a tuck shop - I took £20 cash. I had to take photo ID too. The prisoners aren't allowed at the tuck shop window but you can buy them food & drink.
My son was the first out. I wept. He doesn't like physical contact but he did let me hug him. He looked well, considering. He wasn't wearing his own clothes, as prefers the prison clothes, they get laundered & it doesn't matter if they get lost. He wears his own underwear & socks and washes these in the sink in his cell with shower gel. His cell'mate' doesn't speak to him. He's been on the covid isolation wing for 4 wks. They & he is hoping to move wing soon, where he will have more than 2 hrs a day out of the cell and can get work/study, which he wants to do.
He was chatty and calm. He said it was like being locked in a horrible hotel but that most of the guards were nice. He said he has made a few friends.
All in all, it was better than the nightmares I have. I have had to rest today, just to deal with my emotions, nerves & anxiety - never have they been put to the test as much as yesterday. Seeing him was so hard, saying goodbye & watching him be escorted out was harder.
He always said he wouldn't want to see me until he was released. He doesn't have any friends. I am literally all he has. I'm so glad he agreed to see me & says he would like to see me again. I can see him x2 month. The sun WILL shine on his face again and when that day comes, maybe my broken heart will learn to heal. X
I was terrified, couldn't control my nerves or tears. I tried to be strong, I really did. The process was frightening - being searched, sniffed by dogs, having all belongings locked away. I have to say the staff from PACT & most of the guards were so kind to me & helpful.
The visitors centre wasn't as bad as I imagined. I was told which table to sit at & wait for my son to be escorted to me. The other wives, sisters, daughters & Mum's were all so friendly and supportive. There was a soft play for the children. Whilst queuing to go in, a little girl came up & hugged me because I was crying - so very sweet & I'll never forget that.
There was a tuck shop - I took £20 cash. I had to take photo ID too. The prisoners aren't allowed at the tuck shop window but you can buy them food & drink.
My son was the first out. I wept. He doesn't like physical contact but he did let me hug him. He looked well, considering. He wasn't wearing his own clothes, as prefers the prison clothes, they get laundered & it doesn't matter if they get lost. He wears his own underwear & socks and washes these in the sink in his cell with shower gel. His cell'mate' doesn't speak to him. He's been on the covid isolation wing for 4 wks. They & he is hoping to move wing soon, where he will have more than 2 hrs a day out of the cell and can get work/study, which he wants to do.
He was chatty and calm. He said it was like being locked in a horrible hotel but that most of the guards were nice. He said he has made a few friends.
All in all, it was better than the nightmares I have. I have had to rest today, just to deal with my emotions, nerves & anxiety - never have they been put to the test as much as yesterday. Seeing him was so hard, saying goodbye & watching him be escorted out was harder.
He always said he wouldn't want to see me until he was released. He doesn't have any friends. I am literally all he has. I'm so glad he agreed to see me & says he would like to see me again. I can see him x2 month. The sun WILL shine on his face again and when that day comes, maybe my broken heart will learn to heal. X
Ahhh Ebony that's lovely and a big well done to you xxxxx
Ahhh Ebony
So glad to hear your visit went as well as it could , honestly my heart goes out to you xx
Glad he is ok and so happy he let you hug him
You are incredibly strong
I have established a good visiting routine with my son, yes it is always so hard to see him in prison but it gives us both and my daughter much needed contact xx
We to can buy food also a much needed treat for him xx
Hope you are keeping ok xx
So glad to hear your visit went as well as it could , honestly my heart goes out to you xx
Glad he is ok and so happy he let you hug him
You are incredibly strong
I have established a good visiting routine with my son, yes it is always so hard to see him in prison but it gives us both and my daughter much needed contact xx
We to can buy food also a much needed treat for him xx
Hope you are keeping ok xx
I am still processing first vist but hope my message will help other first time visits.
It's taken me days to recover, mentally, physically & emotionally. I will never recover fully in any respect but I do feel stronger, more prepared - braver - dare I say it. Next visit will tell. Next visit may be with my ex husband, who still wants a relationship with his son. Out of all of this, some kind of good comes. I have always tried to keep the relationship between my ex & my son - maybe this will make them stronger? I just don't know but I am doing everything I can to keep things going. Thank you all for your kind messages. I dont feel alone on here. X
It's taken me days to recover, mentally, physically & emotionally. I will never recover fully in any respect but I do feel stronger, more prepared - braver - dare I say it. Next visit will tell. Next visit may be with my ex husband, who still wants a relationship with his son. Out of all of this, some kind of good comes. I have always tried to keep the relationship between my ex & my son - maybe this will make them stronger? I just don't know but I am doing everything I can to keep things going. Thank you all for your kind messages. I dont feel alone on here. X