Sorry for al the questions
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Ok so another thing I wanted to check is that the SW stated she felt my child needed to be told what the crime my partner her daddy has been convicted of and that my reluctance to do so is putting her at risk.
can they force this? Can they tell my child without my consent?
my child is 10 she has been told daddy did a bad thing and that is why there are changes at home but I didn't say what it was she asked me and I said I am not comfortable telling you the details as she was too young. She was happy with that.
I had safe touch talks with her I have regular chats about internet safety (I used to work in child protection) so I feel she has enough age appropriate info to know what is right or wrong.
why does she need to know what her daddy did?
can they force this? Can they tell my child without my consent?
my child is 10 she has been told daddy did a bad thing and that is why there are changes at home but I didn't say what it was she asked me and I said I am not comfortable telling you the details as she was too young. She was happy with that.
I had safe touch talks with her I have regular chats about internet safety (I used to work in child protection) so I feel she has enough age appropriate info to know what is right or wrong.
why does she need to know what her daddy did?
Please don't apologise for asking, ask away. I have similar age kids and been through the same issues with SS.
they kept us on a child in need plan as I wouldn't tell kids the truth. I stuck to my guns and said I will tell if/when the time was right (ie if media gets wind of it).
we are almost at sentencing and still haven't told them.
are you on a plan? CIN is supposed to be voluntary therefore they cannot speak to kids without your consent.
be clear about what you want and don't let them bully you x
they kept us on a child in need plan as I wouldn't tell kids the truth. I stuck to my guns and said I will tell if/when the time was right (ie if media gets wind of it).
we are almost at sentencing and still haven't told them.
are you on a plan? CIN is supposed to be voluntary therefore they cannot speak to kids without your consent.
be clear about what you want and don't let them bully you x
Thanks jayjay
It's just a lot and I've had SS on me everyday for the last 2 weeks.
my partner is being sentenced on 5th July so I am guessing from what was discussed today that he won't be allowed back anyway as it will be either custodial or condition of community order or whatever.
I feel like I'm resigned to that fact but I feel bullied and rushed into asking him to leave now?! Threatening me with legal action, telling my child, questioning my decision making by bringing up my historic MH issues from 2013??!! pushing me to tell family members (who I don't even see) - these are my decisions and I'm actually an innocent victim in all this.
they think because I'm worrying anoyt practical aspects and finances then I'm not focusing on my child's needs and safety but they are all part of it?
I would like to know what the actual stats are of non contact sex offences and harming own children, they seem to think it's a fait accompli ????
then I start questioning myself - am I in denial? Am I not protecting my child?
It's just a lot and I've had SS on me everyday for the last 2 weeks.
my partner is being sentenced on 5th July so I am guessing from what was discussed today that he won't be allowed back anyway as it will be either custodial or condition of community order or whatever.
I feel like I'm resigned to that fact but I feel bullied and rushed into asking him to leave now?! Threatening me with legal action, telling my child, questioning my decision making by bringing up my historic MH issues from 2013??!! pushing me to tell family members (who I don't even see) - these are my decisions and I'm actually an innocent victim in all this.
they think because I'm worrying anoyt practical aspects and finances then I'm not focusing on my child's needs and safety but they are all part of it?
I would like to know what the actual stats are of non contact sex offences and harming own children, they seem to think it's a fait accompli ????
then I start questioning myself - am I in denial? Am I not protecting my child?
Stephanie, I try not to think about it too much because it really messes with my head. I'm not sure if I'm brainwashing myself into thinking that my partner is not at all dangerous or if I'm being brainwashed by other people to think that my partner is some kind of monster. If you know what I mean. It's like seeing my partner morphing back and forth between being a handsome prince and a toad, over and over.
I had a face to face meeting with LFF prior to joining the inform course which starts next month. The counsellor advised me to ask SW exactly what is the risk?
The iioc were girls, I have boys.
internet offenders are less than 3% to commit a contact offence
And all contact is supervised by me anyway therefore taking that risk away.
I haven't dared yet as I don't want to be seen as minimising but it's a good point!
i learned to be stronger with them, keeping calm and explaining my reasons for my decisions and I also said that the constant contact was making me anxious and affecting my job therefore could they email me (also means I have paper trail). I went through the assessment and highlighted every thing I disagreed with and asked for it to be scanned onto notes.
The iioc were girls, I have boys.
internet offenders are less than 3% to commit a contact offence
And all contact is supervised by me anyway therefore taking that risk away.
I haven't dared yet as I don't want to be seen as minimising but it's a good point!
i learned to be stronger with them, keeping calm and explaining my reasons for my decisions and I also said that the constant contact was making me anxious and affecting my job therefore could they email me (also means I have paper trail). I went through the assessment and highlighted every thing I disagreed with and asked for it to be scanned onto notes.