Family and Friends Forum

Ours was recently widely publicised.
we split the day off the knock so neighbours knew something had happened. Multiple police and 4 hours of searching.



I didn't really do play dates with school, only kids on estate which had calmed down with covid, and then I didn't want to with fear of ahead.



I am not going to lie. The publicity was bad, school run, awful.



but I had many supportive messages. I now talk to other mums about parts of the situation and tomorrow we are having the first big play date at my house. Publicity was end April, the arrest was July 21.



I did keep invite to play date very open, relaxed etc and I would have understood completely.



My ex has only been to house in tightly controlled circumstances due to bail. He is now in prison for a lengthy time. So I do think I had it ok as he was out of house and my life. I announced sept 21 that I was now a single mum but obviously didn't go into the details.



We are moving though. Need to due to sale of house and affordable housing in area, so it will be a massive upheaval as we are moving countries. And I am giving up my career. But although I feel we have been accepted, the stigma and the humiliation of the details is too great. The offence was awful, and he was in a position of trust so the stigma would never leave the children. I didn't know the details until sentencing so I didn't expect what the situation was in reality.

but overall I have had lots of support. And hopefully first big play date goes well

Good luck and I hope the reporting isn't too bad (if that exists)

We are between plea and sentencing. From what I've read it's 50/50 if it hits media and if it does there is nothing you can do about it so try not to stress (easier said than done I know!)

keep things normal as possible for your children, no reason why your daughter can't go her her friends/neighbours. Even if it does come out people will hopefully see that you and her are the innocent parties here x

My partner/ ex was sentenced to 20 months, it was in the papers and all over social media. At the time I felt like I wanted to die. This happened in October. I still live in the same house and very little has been said to me, a few people have stopped talking to me but I'm fine with that. My daughter is still quite young, she's 6 so I haven't invited anyone over since this happened, although she has been invited. I'm worried they would decline. We were at the park once with a couple of her friends after school (her school is next door to a park so we go after school sometimes) and one of her friends mentioned they weren't allowed to come to our house, it was kinda awkward but I just brushed it off. My daughter hasn't had any fallout from this either which is the main thing. Overall it hasn't been as bad as I first thought. Hopefully in 12 months it will be a distant memory.

It is such a massive decision and it has to be right for you and your children.

we have to move as I can't afford the area with my salary. The house is being sold.

I am moving closer to my family and have resigned from my job. Career as I know it has gone as I will struggle with part time and level I am/was

Children would love him back but that is not possible due to complexities of situation ans unfortunately in our case, custodial and lengthy was inevitable.




it will be very different, none of us want to leave but in longer term, it is the only and right option



i think your situation is early days and you have to take the decision when it is right and when you are able.

as many say, take a day at a time and only you will know what is right and best. Good luck with that decision when you are ready