What a difference a day makes
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So yesterday, the bail date was moved to the date of our flight in September where we're going to America to get married...that kinda made the decision that it isn't going to happen, something that was tearing my mind apart.
Today, he spoke with the lead investigator who is half way through searching images they retrieved from devices. So far, there are only a few, although one/some in Cat A (but was told not to think the worst) - I know he had looked at animal things which falls in this category. Investigator was very blasé about September, saying the bail date may not even stay on that date and advised us not to cancel any plans for our wedding if we still wanted to go ahead with it.
On one hand..this may be the last trip to America we can make for 2-5 years depending on SO register/sentencing. And I can't think of anyone I'd want more than him, especially as he's working on the aspects of himself neither of us love. But then again...Will it be the happiest day of my life with this hanging over us. The days behind us may not be the worst days yet to come which is scary.
I'm a Disney dreamer - I believe in fairytale endings even though my life has proved it's everything but in reality! Because no one knows, it's so comforting at times to continue a normal life and there is still some tiny chance this might not go to court - even the investigator said it could be a caution (I guess at the station rather than court or would that only be in court?)
If I can avoid ever telling my parents, I will. If it is going to court, I'd tell them to avoid the horrendous idea of them finding out in any potential media.
So the decision about September is still open...
Today, he spoke with the lead investigator who is half way through searching images they retrieved from devices. So far, there are only a few, although one/some in Cat A (but was told not to think the worst) - I know he had looked at animal things which falls in this category. Investigator was very blasé about September, saying the bail date may not even stay on that date and advised us not to cancel any plans for our wedding if we still wanted to go ahead with it.
On one hand..this may be the last trip to America we can make for 2-5 years depending on SO register/sentencing. And I can't think of anyone I'd want more than him, especially as he's working on the aspects of himself neither of us love. But then again...Will it be the happiest day of my life with this hanging over us. The days behind us may not be the worst days yet to come which is scary.
I'm a Disney dreamer - I believe in fairytale endings even though my life has proved it's everything but in reality! Because no one knows, it's so comforting at times to continue a normal life and there is still some tiny chance this might not go to court - even the investigator said it could be a caution (I guess at the station rather than court or would that only be in court?)
If I can avoid ever telling my parents, I will. If it is going to court, I'd tell them to avoid the horrendous idea of them finding out in any potential media.
So the decision about September is still open...
That's such a predicament you're in. Only you can decide what to do. You can still support him without getting married yet. The advise that I would give my sister, mum or daughter would be to postpone. Wait for the charges, see all the evidence first. Wait for sentencing. There has still been deceit even with just a few images, especially category A. There could be addiction involved.
You could still go to America in September if his bail conditions allow for a holiday, like a honeymoon but in reverse! I would think America could be a permanent no no after sentencing if he has a criminal record, especially this type of offence. Google "moral turpitude" and the USA, its convictions that are listed be offensive to the general public such as terrorism and sexual offenses etc.
This type of crime has huge ramifications for the future...travel, employment, raising a family. Just don't rush into anything. I often think "Marry in haste, repent at leisure". If he's the right guy then he'll wait and there will be no cloud hanging over both of you on your big day xx
You could still go to America in September if his bail conditions allow for a holiday, like a honeymoon but in reverse! I would think America could be a permanent no no after sentencing if he has a criminal record, especially this type of offence. Google "moral turpitude" and the USA, its convictions that are listed be offensive to the general public such as terrorism and sexual offenses etc.
This type of crime has huge ramifications for the future...travel, employment, raising a family. Just don't rush into anything. I often think "Marry in haste, repent at leisure". If he's the right guy then he'll wait and there will be no cloud hanging over both of you on your big day xx
Hi
So with America, technically now he has been arrested (even before being charged) he cannot legally obtain a ESTA. It needs to be a visa. This is because they ask you if you have ever been arrested.
Now with America it is possible to get back in after a conviction. There are loads of success stories of people being granted visas but it has to be a proper 10 year visa (about £400) not an ESTA. And this will not happen while on register. it's not a definite permanent no though.
We go to Disney a lot. We even have a timeshare with Disney. So I know how you feel I really do.
I'm not giving up hope that hubby will one day get his visa once all the register stuff is over and we can apply ect. But I am not giving up my chance to go and to take our daughter. That was made very clear when hubby got the knock. Would I hate going without him - 100%. But I will not deprive us of going for his mistake.
I hope you get everything resolved and you get to have your dream and your wedding.
So with America, technically now he has been arrested (even before being charged) he cannot legally obtain a ESTA. It needs to be a visa. This is because they ask you if you have ever been arrested.
Now with America it is possible to get back in after a conviction. There are loads of success stories of people being granted visas but it has to be a proper 10 year visa (about £400) not an ESTA. And this will not happen while on register. it's not a definite permanent no though.
We go to Disney a lot. We even have a timeshare with Disney. So I know how you feel I really do.
I'm not giving up hope that hubby will one day get his visa once all the register stuff is over and we can apply ect. But I am not giving up my chance to go and to take our daughter. That was made very clear when hubby got the knock. Would I hate going without him - 100%. But I will not deprive us of going for his mistake.
I hope you get everything resolved and you get to have your dream and your wedding.
Crikey, I had no idea about it being so hard to enter even after any sentence is served.
We have actually already got the ESTAs which we had pre-knock...does anyone know if this is still okay?
I'm so torn between my heart and my head.
We have actually already got the ESTAs which we had pre-knock...does anyone know if this is still okay?
I'm so torn between my heart and my head.
Thank you all. I'll give Unlock a call on Monday. x
Hi Fragile,
only you can decide but all I would say is don't make any hasty or life changing decisions.
if it were me, I would go to America (if allowed and ESTA ok) but postpone wedding until you know what the future holds.
like Lee says cat A is not animals, it's severe iioc which don't generally come with just a caution.
each to their own and only you can make the choice x
only you can decide but all I would say is don't make any hasty or life changing decisions.
if it were me, I would go to America (if allowed and ESTA ok) but postpone wedding until you know what the future holds.
like Lee says cat A is not animals, it's severe iioc which don't generally come with just a caution.
each to their own and only you can make the choice x