How much longer?
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So around 2 months ago husbands devices were finally looked at with nothing so everything dropped from the Police. Case passed back to Childrens Services for them to complete a 'risk assessment' which was just a Child & Family Assessment so the assessment that is used on every case referred. This consludes that a specialist risk assessment is needed which they will commission and the earliest date being in September with Lucy Faithful. I have passed over other details but not heard back. Don't even know if they have made a referral for this assessment yet. But until that is completed husband is not able to come back into the home, even though he continues to do all he can to work on himself and the Police gave a pretty glowing report. I'm feeling so frustrated and like I may be being treated differently because I'm a Social Worker myself. I know it's been said why hasn't she walked away. Maybe I'm overthinking. This journey is hard, and feels like it will never be over to try rebuild our lives.
What do I know,
That's a difficult situation. Can you not chase up SS and ask them about the status of the referral and stress the adverse effect the wait for the risk assessment is having on your family? And there is no justification for them to treat you differently because you are a social worker. So if they are then that is wrong. Could you maybe get some advice from someone who specialises in family law? I am sure there are people on here who can give you information/advice on this.
That's a difficult situation. Can you not chase up SS and ask them about the status of the referral and stress the adverse effect the wait for the risk assessment is having on your family? And there is no justification for them to treat you differently because you are a social worker. So if they are then that is wrong. Could you maybe get some advice from someone who specialises in family law? I am sure there are people on here who can give you information/advice on this.
Hi what do I know
I'm in a very similar situation apart from we're also in the court arena too.
Unfortunately I don't have much advice to offer as we're awaiting risk assessment but want to say that I feel your pain. Just waiting on dates from possible assessors.
That feeling of being judged for not simply walking away is terrible. My stance is that I need all the information available before making such a huge long term decision. SS and my barrister definitely want me to say I'm walking away and by reserving my judgement it's like they're thinking I condone his behaviour. I just think that sometimes (given the right circumstances) people deserve a second chance but I would never take that chance if there was potential risk deemed that couldn't be easily mitigated.
It's frustrating that we've had a number of social workers now due to staff changes and you have to explain yourself over and over. And it's me that has to do all the talking because there's little effort to talk to or get to know husband. And anything that I do say that is in his favour (e.g. I'm pleased with his engagement in therapy and the changes he has made) is seen as me defending him. The new social worker visited today and said 'we think the outcome of the assessment will be negative'. Just think it's really unfair to prejudge that and feels a bit like it could be a tactic to get me to leave him for good (we're currently separated). I understand they need to work on a worst case scenario until evidenced otherwise but I still think voicing an opinion like that I'd underhand.
I really do hope that these expert assessments are done thoroughly and as unbiased as possible in order to give the most accurate result. Surely I'm not crazy for wanting to wait for that outcome?
I really struggle when I don't have a picture of how the future could be. I need hope to think that something brighter can come out of this but right now I'm at a low point and I'm struggling to think positively. I just want to fast forward time.
I'm greatful for this forum as a place to not feel alone. I hope that sharing some of my experience has done the same for you and I really do hope we can update each other in the (near) future with positive news.
I'm in a very similar situation apart from we're also in the court arena too.
Unfortunately I don't have much advice to offer as we're awaiting risk assessment but want to say that I feel your pain. Just waiting on dates from possible assessors.
That feeling of being judged for not simply walking away is terrible. My stance is that I need all the information available before making such a huge long term decision. SS and my barrister definitely want me to say I'm walking away and by reserving my judgement it's like they're thinking I condone his behaviour. I just think that sometimes (given the right circumstances) people deserve a second chance but I would never take that chance if there was potential risk deemed that couldn't be easily mitigated.
It's frustrating that we've had a number of social workers now due to staff changes and you have to explain yourself over and over. And it's me that has to do all the talking because there's little effort to talk to or get to know husband. And anything that I do say that is in his favour (e.g. I'm pleased with his engagement in therapy and the changes he has made) is seen as me defending him. The new social worker visited today and said 'we think the outcome of the assessment will be negative'. Just think it's really unfair to prejudge that and feels a bit like it could be a tactic to get me to leave him for good (we're currently separated). I understand they need to work on a worst case scenario until evidenced otherwise but I still think voicing an opinion like that I'd underhand.
I really do hope that these expert assessments are done thoroughly and as unbiased as possible in order to give the most accurate result. Surely I'm not crazy for wanting to wait for that outcome?
I really struggle when I don't have a picture of how the future could be. I need hope to think that something brighter can come out of this but right now I'm at a low point and I'm struggling to think positively. I just want to fast forward time.
I'm greatful for this forum as a place to not feel alone. I hope that sharing some of my experience has done the same for you and I really do hope we can update each other in the (near) future with positive news.
Hi Bluebell2022
I can totally relate to whatever you said and while I was reading your post, it felt like I am reading my own story. We have also gone through specialist assessment 2 years ago and our sw said the same thing that they think it will be negative. They tired everything with me so I will leave my husband, even my lawyer was initially in favour of me leaving my husband.
From the beginning I said to SS that I will leave my husband only if specialist assesor deemed him as a risk.
The specialist who did our assessment was really good. He was non judgemental and very fair. I believe they always deemed the level of risk and suggest ways of how to reduce it and the work that can be done with offender and the partner so they can live as a family.
I can totally relate to whatever you said and while I was reading your post, it felt like I am reading my own story. We have also gone through specialist assessment 2 years ago and our sw said the same thing that they think it will be negative. They tired everything with me so I will leave my husband, even my lawyer was initially in favour of me leaving my husband.
From the beginning I said to SS that I will leave my husband only if specialist assesor deemed him as a risk.
The specialist who did our assessment was really good. He was non judgemental and very fair. I believe they always deemed the level of risk and suggest ways of how to reduce it and the work that can be done with offender and the partner so they can live as a family.