Family and friends seeing it as a 'victimless crime'
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My partner had a friend over recently that knows about my partner's conviction and was discussing the ongoing family court case for my partner to have access to his kids.
His friend I knew was supportive and didn't distance himself, which I always appreciated. However, he did say recently that he didn't think it was fair that my partner wast allowed to see his kids because he 'didnt actually do anything to kids'. This made my heart sink. We tried to explain that my partner's actions contributed to the demand for such content and that victims abuse was essentially ongoing with every view from multiple people. His friend basically said it isn't that bad because he hasn't commited a contact offence.
This is the first time I have come across someone who has this mindset, thankfully my partner now knows that ofc what he did was serious. His friend does have the understanding that the offending in part was a coping mechanism, but at the end of the day my partner also did it for self gratification.
I was wondering if anyone else has come across this attitude? I feel it makes the support problematic, and risks the effectiveness of raising awareness.
His friend I knew was supportive and didn't distance himself, which I always appreciated. However, he did say recently that he didn't think it was fair that my partner wast allowed to see his kids because he 'didnt actually do anything to kids'. This made my heart sink. We tried to explain that my partner's actions contributed to the demand for such content and that victims abuse was essentially ongoing with every view from multiple people. His friend basically said it isn't that bad because he hasn't commited a contact offence.
This is the first time I have come across someone who has this mindset, thankfully my partner now knows that ofc what he did was serious. His friend does have the understanding that the offending in part was a coping mechanism, but at the end of the day my partner also did it for self gratification.
I was wondering if anyone else has come across this attitude? I feel it makes the support problematic, and risks the effectiveness of raising awareness.
This is a really interesting thread.
I have had to tell a select few people about my sons situation because of circumstances and those people were nothing but supportive and more worried about my son than the victims.
I agree with Lee. People don't have to fully understand the ramifications of the crime in order to support. That's the perps job!! They have to understand their actions fully and without filter.. also partners and parents if they are supporting need to understand in my opinion, I know most partners and mums here do.. it may be the reason why we are active members of this forum.
I feel unbelievablely lucky thay my son has support from a very select number of people. They know enough.
I feel it his responsibility and mine as his mum to do the deep dive learning.
Xx
I have had to tell a select few people about my sons situation because of circumstances and those people were nothing but supportive and more worried about my son than the victims.
I agree with Lee. People don't have to fully understand the ramifications of the crime in order to support. That's the perps job!! They have to understand their actions fully and without filter.. also partners and parents if they are supporting need to understand in my opinion, I know most partners and mums here do.. it may be the reason why we are active members of this forum.
I feel unbelievablely lucky thay my son has support from a very select number of people. They know enough.
I feel it his responsibility and mine as his mum to do the deep dive learning.
Xx
Thanks for your insight. I see your point and i know that his friend knows what he did was very wrong and that I think is important at the end of the day. My partner I think has been very lucky that majority of his close friends have stuck by him- all sayinf he is a good person who did wrong and they support his rehabilitation.
He has friends that have known him since he was a child and at uni, all of them have said they witnessed his mental health deteriorate but didn't know ofc what his coping mechanism. They want to help him so that he doesn't slip again, either the same offending or other unhealthy behaviours.
He has friends that have known him since he was a child and at uni, all of them have said they witnessed his mental health deteriorate but didn't know ofc what his coping mechanism. They want to help him so that he doesn't slip again, either the same offending or other unhealthy behaviours.
Your partner is a very fortunate, loved and lucky person xxx
Those people are supporting him, not his behaviour.
No one condones or supports the behavior, that would be barbaric.
The person behind the behaviour is troubled, in trouble, probably mentally unstable and in desperate need of help.. if people can see that and support the person, take it and effing run with it!!
Xxxx
Those people are supporting him, not his behaviour.
No one condones or supports the behavior, that would be barbaric.
The person behind the behaviour is troubled, in trouble, probably mentally unstable and in desperate need of help.. if people can see that and support the person, take it and effing run with it!!
Xxxx
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