One year on
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So.
Thursday will be one year to the day that my son recieved the knock at his student digs.
In all my life I never imagined such horror could be here in my life.
He was released RUI so no timescales needed to be given
Nothing has moved on, as far as I am aware, or told by police when I ring ( frequently) devices seized still not examined , I've been told he keeps getting bumped down the list by more urgent cases.
This limbo is beyond agony
In a year my son has not left my flat
I am the only person in the whole world he sees
His wonderful friends ,who all know, ring me , they love him as much as ever
My son sees himself as literally the worst person in the world
He still wants to die, to not exist
He did therapy and a course via SaferLives and that is it
He is terrified and loathes himself
Anti depressants have done zilch
He refuses for me to pay for an autism assessment, I always thought he did have asd as a child, but was told I was imagining it. I wasn't, and it is so apparent having been with him pretty much 24/7 for a year.
He can't and will never get over this
Sorry, not much point to this post, other than to "get it out"
I am his sole carer, he refuses to see any other family, including his Dad, who is heartbroken.
I am exhausted
I have had to continue to work f/t in a demanding MH/social care role , as I have a mortgage and am single
I am barely fit for purpose when I have my 9yr old (50/50 share)
This is a nightmare
Thanks for reading xx
Thursday will be one year to the day that my son recieved the knock at his student digs.
In all my life I never imagined such horror could be here in my life.
He was released RUI so no timescales needed to be given
Nothing has moved on, as far as I am aware, or told by police when I ring ( frequently) devices seized still not examined , I've been told he keeps getting bumped down the list by more urgent cases.
This limbo is beyond agony
In a year my son has not left my flat
I am the only person in the whole world he sees
His wonderful friends ,who all know, ring me , they love him as much as ever
My son sees himself as literally the worst person in the world
He still wants to die, to not exist
He did therapy and a course via SaferLives and that is it
He is terrified and loathes himself
Anti depressants have done zilch
He refuses for me to pay for an autism assessment, I always thought he did have asd as a child, but was told I was imagining it. I wasn't, and it is so apparent having been with him pretty much 24/7 for a year.
He can't and will never get over this
Sorry, not much point to this post, other than to "get it out"
I am his sole carer, he refuses to see any other family, including his Dad, who is heartbroken.
I am exhausted
I have had to continue to work f/t in a demanding MH/social care role , as I have a mortgage and am single
I am barely fit for purpose when I have my 9yr old (50/50 share)
This is a nightmare
Thanks for reading xx
Hi We. I feel your pain I really do. My Son has been the same, he started to open up after the arrest but has now gone back into himself, he too is on anti depressants I feel like they are making him worse. He is cutting his arms and literally hates himself. We called the helpline today and I am hoping that he is going to do the inform plus course, and the police called me last week to say that are going through his phone and they will be calling him back. He got arrested in January so this is a short time compared to others. I am feeling very stressed about it all, I too have a younger child. My Son has Autism and I feel so terrified that he is going to kill himself.
Evening WeeWitch
It's good to hear from you I remember reading your first post
I am so sorry to hear your son and yourself are still hurting so much it's just an awful journey we all find ourselves on
As mums we just feel so helpless and all we want to do is take away there pain x
I wish I could offer some advice but nothing will make this any easier
I have the same concerns and worries about my son if only they could see what we see in them eh
For his friends to be there for him is so lovely my sons best friends walked away I wish they would look at the person he was before all this
From one mum to another I just wanted to send you strength and hugs xx
It's good to hear from you I remember reading your first post
I am so sorry to hear your son and yourself are still hurting so much it's just an awful journey we all find ourselves on
As mums we just feel so helpless and all we want to do is take away there pain x
I wish I could offer some advice but nothing will make this any easier
I have the same concerns and worries about my son if only they could see what we see in them eh
For his friends to be there for him is so lovely my sons best friends walked away I wish they would look at the person he was before all this
From one mum to another I just wanted to send you strength and hugs xx
Thank you so much for your replies x
It's beyond hard when it is your beautiful child
There could never be any walking away as a mother - nothing is further from my mind btw,
It is so good to hear from other mothers , it really is.
Love to you both
It's beyond hard when it is your beautiful child
There could never be any walking away as a mother - nothing is further from my mind btw,
It is so good to hear from other mothers , it really is.
Love to you both
Hi, I can totally understand where you are at. Our situation is quite similar and I too am exhausted. Yes, they did what they did but the knock, the waiting and the humiliation is punishment itself and the waiting is so cruel.
I too have a person wanting to end his life and feeling worthless without a future, he too cuts and tries to hurt himself to release the pain and anguish but people not dealing with this type of situation could never understand the depth of the hurt and remorse that is felt.
Crimes have been committed but the way they are dealt with is tantamount to torture, they are humans with feelings who found themselves in the most awful depths of darkness to even delve into such awful actions. Their actions need to be addressed yes but they are treated as the lowest of the low whilst we have to try and keep them from doing the unthinkable in order to escape the torture of "no future left and no place for in society anymore".
xxx
I too have a person wanting to end his life and feeling worthless without a future, he too cuts and tries to hurt himself to release the pain and anguish but people not dealing with this type of situation could never understand the depth of the hurt and remorse that is felt.
Crimes have been committed but the way they are dealt with is tantamount to torture, they are humans with feelings who found themselves in the most awful depths of darkness to even delve into such awful actions. Their actions need to be addressed yes but they are treated as the lowest of the low whilst we have to try and keep them from doing the unthinkable in order to escape the torture of "no future left and no place for in society anymore".
xxx
Betty - perfectly put. Exactly as it is. xx
Bettyboo65
Oh my heart breaks reading your anguish
Honestly I have never felt so much pain in my life and I have had some awful times but this just is the worst feeling ever
While my son was under investigation every day I wondered if it would be his last day as he was so suicidal then he was kept on remand until sentancing he started self harming
April he was sentenced and has been moved to a SO prison he is no longer harming thankfully but we have a long road ahead but I will be at his side every step of the way
If only we could all meet up xx
Oh my heart breaks reading your anguish
Honestly I have never felt so much pain in my life and I have had some awful times but this just is the worst feeling ever
While my son was under investigation every day I wondered if it would be his last day as he was so suicidal then he was kept on remand until sentancing he started self harming
April he was sentenced and has been moved to a SO prison he is no longer harming thankfully but we have a long road ahead but I will be at his side every step of the way
If only we could all meet up xx
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Polly
I couldn't agree more in what you said
We are all indeed strong
xx
I couldn't agree more in what you said
We are all indeed strong
xx
Sorry to hear that it's awfull . My partner was the same didn't leave the house just lay on the couch all day untill we visited we could only visit for a short time he said he cudnt hold back him tears for long In front of the children. The only thing that got him up is he had to go to work in the end . He tried to keep a low profile but they had had there names printed on there tips this week which was a worry and hes just counting down the days untill they find out in work and don't want him there anymore. I wish the judges could somehow take into account how much remorse they have and how it's affecting then eveen though into the children are the victims here . I really don't think my partner's a bad person just a mistake and I'm sure your son's the same I really hope he can find it in himself to realise . There is some hope that it won't be in the media ect and eveen if it is people will get over it or maybe he can move if he's young . Sending love and hugs xx
Hi all,
I totally agree about the media and the struggling we are already going through without the media involvement.
I also agree with what has been said about the courts and the system in that it needs to recognise the guilt and remorse and struggling that people go through before the cases even get to court. We struggle to keep our people alive, let alone ready to face court and the media and the time waiting should be taken into account xx
I totally agree about the media and the struggling we are already going through without the media involvement.
I also agree with what has been said about the courts and the system in that it needs to recognise the guilt and remorse and struggling that people go through before the cases even get to court. We struggle to keep our people alive, let alone ready to face court and the media and the time waiting should be taken into account xx