Can we talk about them 'having a sexual interest in children'
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Hey fellow club members!
I was wanting to talk about them 'having a sexual interest in children'.
The solicitor has said, that when it goes to court, as he is convinced it will, that my partner HAS to admit 'having a sexual interest in children' as 'he clearly does because he searched for the images'
Does he? From my hours of research I am seeing that porn is a massive issue, brain re-wiring leading to curiosity, revisiting past feelings etc.
How dangerous is it to admit an interest, if you don't have one and it was a case of your addiction?
How dangerous is it to not admit you have an interest with regards to how the court will see you and your taking responsibility?
Thanks all.
I was wanting to talk about them 'having a sexual interest in children'.
The solicitor has said, that when it goes to court, as he is convinced it will, that my partner HAS to admit 'having a sexual interest in children' as 'he clearly does because he searched for the images'
Does he? From my hours of research I am seeing that porn is a massive issue, brain re-wiring leading to curiosity, revisiting past feelings etc.
How dangerous is it to admit an interest, if you don't have one and it was a case of your addiction?
How dangerous is it to not admit you have an interest with regards to how the court will see you and your taking responsibility?
Thanks all.
Hey Bea,
I would say that if your partner doesn't have an interest he shouldn't say he does. I'm not sure but to admit an interest would make it worse surely. I think it's a bit of a red flag your solicitor has suggested that but would be interested to see what the others think...
I would say that if your partner doesn't have an interest he shouldn't say he does. I'm not sure but to admit an interest would make it worse surely. I think it's a bit of a red flag your solicitor has suggested that but would be interested to see what the others think...
Thanks Baffled. This is my gut instinct too. I need something robust to give to the solicitor to counter what he has said. If anyone can point me in the right direction I would be so grateful. And agreed....I am also interested in the general thoughts on this. Let's what others say.
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Smile, for some reason this isn't talked about much. And the perceptions are, seemingly, that they do have an interest. But the research suggests there is the person who doesn't, and that an interest in children was NOT their driver for seeking out and looking at IIOC.
But how brave can he be and stand up and say 'I do not have an interest'. Or is this reckless.
But how brave can he be and stand up and say 'I do not have an interest'. Or is this reckless.
He definitely should not say he has a sexual interest in children if doesn't. This could have repricussion for his future, particularly if there are children in his life.
I can't point you in the direction of one document, I did a huge amount of reading, listening and watching, because I wanted something similar. Amongst all this research it became clear that to be a child abuser (he was mainly referring to contact offences) you did not need to have a interest in children. One of the key researchers in the field (sexual attraction to children) is P is Dr James Cantor. He has done a lot of research related to people that are attracted to children and draws a distinction between a P and a child abuser and that they are not mutual exclusive, in fact many child abusers are not attracted to children, but are draw to a child for other reasons such as power, availability, access etc and visa verse not all people attracted to child will act on it, in anyway. Therefore its actual irrelevant.
Happy to post links to some of his research. Thet were given to me by my therapist.
I can't point you in the direction of one document, I did a huge amount of reading, listening and watching, because I wanted something similar. Amongst all this research it became clear that to be a child abuser (he was mainly referring to contact offences) you did not need to have a interest in children. One of the key researchers in the field (sexual attraction to children) is P is Dr James Cantor. He has done a lot of research related to people that are attracted to children and draws a distinction between a P and a child abuser and that they are not mutual exclusive, in fact many child abusers are not attracted to children, but are draw to a child for other reasons such as power, availability, access etc and visa verse not all people attracted to child will act on it, in anyway. Therefore its actual irrelevant.
Happy to post links to some of his research. Thet were given to me by my therapist.
Hi Lee, what do I shove in their face though. The research is within so many different documents. I am aware I mustn't be seen to show bias and only take out the bits from these papers that sound right, so where is this succinct info I can issue to him and state my concerns. We need this in one place, in one referenced document. I know so many of us are drowning in this and we to be able to access material easily. I am so frustrated. And scared.
SAL, that would be amazing. Thanks. I am not sure if links work in this forum. If not, say and I will find a way of getting contact with you.
I feel your anguish and frustration. I wanted one piece of paper that would link porn /sex addiction to what my person did, but there didn't seem to be one document that put this explanation succinctly. I wanted it for my own benefit, not from any legal perspective - As you say, I didn't want to be bias and create a false narrative.
The Earthly Delights podcast Episode 38. You can listen to this on Spotify or YouTube.
A Crash Course in Sexology with Dr James Cantor on YouTube.
I don't think that it will be the one piece of literature you are after, but it helped me look at it from the other angle and might help you form your argument. Whilst I was reassured that he wasn't attracted to children as a "sexual orientation" it did mean I had to accept that he was likely able to be aroused by some aspect related to what would be child abuse, but I also in the relms of addiction understand how he could have got to this place - It was "just" another extreme amongst many others he'd explored.
The Earthly Delights podcast Episode 38. You can listen to this on Spotify or YouTube.
A Crash Course in Sexology with Dr James Cantor on YouTube.
I don't think that it will be the one piece of literature you are after, but it helped me look at it from the other angle and might help you form your argument. Whilst I was reassured that he wasn't attracted to children as a "sexual orientation" it did mean I had to accept that he was likely able to be aroused by some aspect related to what would be child abuse, but I also in the relms of addiction understand how he could have got to this place - It was "just" another extreme amongst many others he'd explored.
This thread has definitely been discussed before, but quite a while ago (maybe years?). And what has been discussed is the same as before, that no offender should be encouraged to saying anything that isn't true.
To most people who don't do research on the subject will just assume all those who view iioc have an interest in children- I would have hoped solicitors were better informed but not all are.
If it is true they have an interest I think it is worth them saying so that they are supported in a way to not act any further. I suspect by admitting this it would lead to additional restrictions such as not allowed near play areas for example.
I have wondered if my partner has an interest, it does play on my mind. He also was found to have searched for 'young teens' - but he hasn't said if that was for himself or to get photos to catfish with. But he says he doesn't have an interest and that in the moment of offending he totally disconnected from reality in a way that he didn't really consider ages...
Overall, offenders need to be honest to get the best and fair outcome from their case.
To most people who don't do research on the subject will just assume all those who view iioc have an interest in children- I would have hoped solicitors were better informed but not all are.
If it is true they have an interest I think it is worth them saying so that they are supported in a way to not act any further. I suspect by admitting this it would lead to additional restrictions such as not allowed near play areas for example.
I have wondered if my partner has an interest, it does play on my mind. He also was found to have searched for 'young teens' - but he hasn't said if that was for himself or to get photos to catfish with. But he says he doesn't have an interest and that in the moment of offending he totally disconnected from reality in a way that he didn't really consider ages...
Overall, offenders need to be honest to get the best and fair outcome from their case.
Hi Bea,
The other ladies are right, I don't think you will find one document that states not all viewers of IIOC are sexually interested in children as the data is too limiting - in both timing, that Porn Addiction is still only recent and context. There is no one size fits in these cases but I would absolutely recommend looking at another solicitor if you are able to do so!
What may help though is the forensic report. I'm not sure how detailed they are so hopefully others can help but maybe it will provide context to the offending. For example, if you husband has a porn addiction, I would assume he viewed a variety of different, but legal images more so than IIOC. I would hope (but may be wrong) that the forensic report would detail the number of recoverable images (legal and illegal) so low volume in relation to the whole picture may support that he is not sexually interested in children.
Also, can I ask what is your husband's POV? Has he explored the reasons of how and why he ended viewing the images? X
The other ladies are right, I don't think you will find one document that states not all viewers of IIOC are sexually interested in children as the data is too limiting - in both timing, that Porn Addiction is still only recent and context. There is no one size fits in these cases but I would absolutely recommend looking at another solicitor if you are able to do so!
What may help though is the forensic report. I'm not sure how detailed they are so hopefully others can help but maybe it will provide context to the offending. For example, if you husband has a porn addiction, I would assume he viewed a variety of different, but legal images more so than IIOC. I would hope (but may be wrong) that the forensic report would detail the number of recoverable images (legal and illegal) so low volume in relation to the whole picture may support that he is not sexually interested in children.
Also, can I ask what is your husband's POV? Has he explored the reasons of how and why he ended viewing the images? X
Orchid94
It's a great idea but unfortunately the police forensic search only looks for illegal images, search history and any other software or files the police consider dodgy. The volume of other legit files is not provided in the report (which you would think would give context, especially if only a handful of iiocs are found among hundreds of thousands of files) and if the defence solicitor asks for it they say they can't provide that. The defence have to pay for their own independent forensic expert to do this. Its very expensive.
It's a great idea but unfortunately the police forensic search only looks for illegal images, search history and any other software or files the police consider dodgy. The volume of other legit files is not provided in the report (which you would think would give context, especially if only a handful of iiocs are found among hundreds of thousands of files) and if the defence solicitor asks for it they say they can't provide that. The defence have to pay for their own independent forensic expert to do this. Its very expensive.
Hi Bitterbean,
That's disappointing but not surprising. How convenient that the report wouldn't detail the total number of legal images found. Hopefully it is something that a good solictor could push for - wishful thinking maybe. X
That's disappointing but not surprising. How convenient that the report wouldn't detail the total number of legal images found. Hopefully it is something that a good solictor could push for - wishful thinking maybe. X