11 months on
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Haven't posted for a while.
But we are 11 months on from the knock, and there is still no end in sight. The last update we had was they had looked through half the devices, and no images had been found.This was back in March.
If anyone can't remember my story - my partner got arrested on suspicion of accessing iioc. He got arrested at my house even though he didn't live with me - and no evidence of what they acted up on has been offered. My partner denies the allegation.
Last night I was on his phone, and I saw on his search he'd been looking at porn. It was legal porn may I add. He doesn't do this often, there is no addiction but when we are apart he does have a look through like he has always been honest about.
But this has made me so angry. I just don't know how he could even be interested in looking at it after what we have been through after the arrest. Why would anyone but them serves in a more vulnerable position.
I just feel like at the minute I don't trust him. I am so scared that he hasn't been honest with me - at present we are still living a normal life. Still going to the pub with friends, holidays with friends etc. I just know that if this was to be true they would all hate me for being nieve and believing him.
My head is now telling me to leave him now before I hurt any more. The wreck this has caused with my mental health is something else.
I'm sorry, this post is just pointless but I need to get my feelings out somewhere. Thus us the only place I have to turn xx
But we are 11 months on from the knock, and there is still no end in sight. The last update we had was they had looked through half the devices, and no images had been found.This was back in March.
If anyone can't remember my story - my partner got arrested on suspicion of accessing iioc. He got arrested at my house even though he didn't live with me - and no evidence of what they acted up on has been offered. My partner denies the allegation.
Last night I was on his phone, and I saw on his search he'd been looking at porn. It was legal porn may I add. He doesn't do this often, there is no addiction but when we are apart he does have a look through like he has always been honest about.
But this has made me so angry. I just don't know how he could even be interested in looking at it after what we have been through after the arrest. Why would anyone but them serves in a more vulnerable position.
I just feel like at the minute I don't trust him. I am so scared that he hasn't been honest with me - at present we are still living a normal life. Still going to the pub with friends, holidays with friends etc. I just know that if this was to be true they would all hate me for being nieve and believing him.
My head is now telling me to leave him now before I hurt any more. The wreck this has caused with my mental health is something else.
I'm sorry, this post is just pointless but I need to get my feelings out somewhere. Thus us the only place I have to turn xx
Hi hope your okay . I'm not sure how to feel but I know my partner has veiwed over 18 porn after the knock . I was shocked at first and thought wtf after all this but I think it has been nearly a year if porn is somthing he has always been veiwing (over 18 ect) now living alone for so long I didn't really think to much about it .
Somtimes I get mad at him for silly things and think I would be better off without him but I know deep down I wouldn't be and I love him . And I suppose I'm always tied to him threw children .
My partner gets into money troubles ect and this is other reasons why I want to cut ties but it never seems to work like that for me I'm all he has so he problems will also me mine :( xxx
Somtimes I get mad at him for silly things and think I would be better off without him but I know deep down I wouldn't be and I love him . And I suppose I'm always tied to him threw children .
My partner gets into money troubles ect and this is other reasons why I want to cut ties but it never seems to work like that for me I'm all he has so he problems will also me mine :( xxx
Feel sick/ XXX,
Have you spoken to him openly about not being okay with him accessing porn? After being arrested reasons that lead you to this forum it is very reasonable to not be okay with that. It would be very respectful of your partner's to understand and therefore change their habits. And if they can't then that would seem to either be choosing not to listen to you, or that they do actually have a compulsion or addiction.
Either it is quite easy to come across illegal images within the realms of 'legal' porn, or the thousands of people arrested for it did all actively search it out. In my opinion, someone under investigation should not risk accidentally stumbling across material that would increase their sentence. It would be hard to believe that they grasped the severity of their situation of they were willing to do this.
Have you spoken to him openly about not being okay with him accessing porn? After being arrested reasons that lead you to this forum it is very reasonable to not be okay with that. It would be very respectful of your partner's to understand and therefore change their habits. And if they can't then that would seem to either be choosing not to listen to you, or that they do actually have a compulsion or addiction.
Either it is quite easy to come across illegal images within the realms of 'legal' porn, or the thousands of people arrested for it did all actively search it out. In my opinion, someone under investigation should not risk accidentally stumbling across material that would increase their sentence. It would be hard to believe that they grasped the severity of their situation of they were willing to do this.
Our specialist support told me after a 'lapse' (legal I might add) that if he was on their shoes, he would NOT be looking at anything online, legal or not.
Essentially they are putting themselves at further risk should they be rearrested, as it shows they aren't taking it seriously enough. Porn is a route in to IIOC. It's an easy route. And they could easily have looked at underage by accident even. They are currently vulnerable so they should be protecting themselves
Just. Not. Worth. The. Risk in my opinion.
Essentially they are putting themselves at further risk should they be rearrested, as it shows they aren't taking it seriously enough. Porn is a route in to IIOC. It's an easy route. And they could easily have looked at underage by accident even. They are currently vulnerable so they should be protecting themselves
Just. Not. Worth. The. Risk in my opinion.
After everything, because we do go through so much. I stayed with my hub and were still working together, have to say better now then it's been for a very long time.
One of the main reasons I stayed after everything was he was never to look at porn again.
Anne
One of the main reasons I stayed after everything was he was never to look at porn again.
Anne