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The lost friends

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 7:37pmReport post

Evening all

I have been talking to a friend of my son today

She was shocked to hear what happened as she read it on the police website;-( as someone sent her the link (great)

She just wanted to say she wished him well but she cant contact him as she works in a school

I am glad for the communication but at the same time it has made me feel shit

What they have done is awful

But please look at the person you knew before the media reported

He is human, he is a young man that had issues

He is a young man that had no self esteem

He is a young man that diddnt see himself in the way we did

He is a young man that struggles with his mental health because of the above reasons

He is a young man that got lost in this journey

He is a young man that obviously has porn addiction

He is a good young person

He is a young person that has got no self belief and has got so deep he couldn't get out of

He is a young person that has effected real victims and that I cannot forget

But he is my son, we have been to hell and back but we are here for him every step of this journey

If I could offer any advice to all the mums on here it would be you are so strong and it dosent matter what other think or want you to do our love is unconditional no matter what xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 7:50pmReport post

Our stories really match..... your words are so very true Upset. X

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 8:11pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed October 4, 2023 8:46pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 8:11pmReport post

Evening my dear friend

Honestly I feel gutted

If they could see the person before this

Hope you son is doing ok and you xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 8:17pmReport post

Polly

I was so grateful for her message and I totally understand her side

My heart is broken but in time it will heal

But no matter what my love is unconditional no matter how hard this is

I will always be there for my son xx

Nimbus

Member since
June 2022

11 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 9:09pmReport post

Well said Upset!

Although I'm not a mum myself I totally empathise with you.

Like Polly said at least your son's friend had the courage to speak to you personally, maybe given time her view might change.

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 9:17pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 9:32pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed October 4, 2023 8:46pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 9:51pmReport post

Daffodil

Just perfect in the way you worerd it xz

My light will always shine xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 7:10amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat June 25, 2022 8:56pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 9:12amReport post

Morning Smile

Such strength you carry and you are so right people can have there own opinions but they cannot take away our love for our sons xx

He has done amazing with what he has faced I would to be so proud xx

I hope your dad is getting better x

Hugs xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 9:18amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat June 25, 2022 8:56pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 11:54amReport post

Oh bless him at least he is still smiling I wish him well, such an awful illness isn't it xx

Keep strong Smile hugs as always xx

Bettyboo65

Member since
June 2022

339 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 1:28pmReport post

Hi Upset Mum and all the other mums on here, i totally feel for you.

You are right, they are human beings and they are the same human being as they were before the knock and all that follows. They dont suddenly become monsters without feelings. My person too has no self esteem, struggles with mental health and doesn't see himself as we see him. I adore and cherish him and always will, regardless of any crime committed, he is my best friend and my rock in life although he doesn't believe me and sees no future for himself going forward.

I don't condone what he did but I understand the dark place he got too due to childhood trauma which he never spoke of until now, childhood trauma followed by drug and drink issues to deaden his own tortured feelings, followed by outpourings of mental anguish and feelings that he has no real place in this world.

He is a good person too and he is my blood so I will never turn my back on him, our love for them is unconditional and we will be here always and forever.

we have been waiting 8 months and I'm sure for all of us each day is a struggle to make sure they wake and function in some sort of normal way. Hopefully this will be sorted in a humane and dignified way soon so he can have a future and continue therapy to unravel the issues that plague him.

No-one sees their anguish and torment, they only see the crime and the suffering of the victim, it needs to be made public that these crimes are committed to the most part by persons with their own very real issues and struggles and torment in their lifes that lead them to do what they do :(

sorry for spouting :) I hope you all have a lovely weekend and can enjoy the most part of it xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 2:59pmReport post

Bettyboo65

I 100% agree with what you have said in your post

Sending strength and hugs to you xx

Hopeforthefuture

Member since
September 2021

97 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 8:47pmReport post

Smile...

What a beautiful post.

No other words needed xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 8:54pmReport post

I'd love to leave my posts on but worry family members might come across them and by detail put two and two together. It hurts as I'd like to feel I was helping people on the forum x

Hopeforthefuture

Member since
September 2021

97 posts

Posted Sat June 25, 2022 9:19pmReport post

So glad I got to read it before you deleted it. I know I'm the same frightened of anyone with ill intent reading things. Hope your all good xx

Edited Sat June 25, 2022 9:19pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Sun June 26, 2022 6:20amReport post

With me Hope - it's more the fear of family members reading it. Ultimations given and not kept......

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sun June 26, 2022 1:44pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed October 4, 2023 8:47pm