Family and Friends Forum

What do I know

Member since
July 2021

28 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 8:15pmReport post

A year ago today we got the knock. And at this time whilst I was putting my little one to bed. I've just done the same and it's massively triggering. I don't know if I have the emotional energy to manage my emotions and the husbands. And everyone else's that comes as part of this journey. Can't really face going downstairs as this time last year we had 4 police officers there. I know I will and can dig deep. But also know this is the place I can say how I actually feel.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 8:20pmReport post

Hi What x

Honestly we all feel the same x

Not much advise but hugs sent xx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 8:26pmReport post

I get this 100% xxxx do what you need to do for you.

Our knock was in the morning and I have 20 minutes in the day, everyday where its all I think about. I threw my dressing gown away. I make faces at my front door and recoil. It's hell.

Lots of love xxxxx

Edited Fri June 24, 2022 8:53pm

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

635 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 8:43pmReport post

I had just heard Frank Sinatra singing New York, New York on the radio before the knock. Thank goodness it isn't played that often these days, because it's massively triggering for me.

Nimbus

Member since
June 2022

11 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 9:03pmReport post

Hi What

I know what you mean about finding the energy to deal with your emotions and those of others, it is an exhausting line to tread. Only yesterday I was asking the same question.

Somehow we find that inner strength to carry on but at times it feels like wading through treacle.

Triggers are a conundrum, sometimes they are predictable like anniversaries which are hard to deal with at the best of times, but I find it's those little ones that slap you in the face unexpectedly that can floor you.

Tomorrow is a different day, today will be in the past. Stay strong.

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 9:09pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Ellen44

Member since
November 2020

22 posts

Posted Fri June 24, 2022 9:51pmReport post

My little boy opened the door to them. I was asleep in bed and my husband was at work. I thought they had come to tell me he was dead because this has happened to me in the past.I was hysterical.