Family and Friends Forum

Hi jay

we saw a draft SHPO the CPS had done when our solicitor got the evidence, it had some restrictions about contact with children on it. We argued this with his barrister who agreed it wasn't proportionate. In the meeting before sentencing (10mins before) we saw the SHPO that had been forward to court and it had 4 restrictions only on it- internet based only.

For us our visor has been great, no monitoring put on oh phone, she goes to his probation meetings to see him. We told her about family members with children as he might spend more than 12 hours with them so they are now listed and ss have contacted the parents.

she has basically said if it's not a notifiable thing she doesn't want to know.
we've been away for weekends/few days, we have informed her but she just says have a nice time and if it's less than 7 nights has said she didn't need to know.
We have been around children at parties where people aren't aware, we have rules that we have worked with each other (he has to stay with me and be supervised) just to protect him but he has no restrictions about this so doesn't have to tell anyone.

Hope this helps x

Just a note to say My partner signed the SOR and did not receive a SHPO... His crime was caution worthy but they didn't push for it due to the single Cat B ...

It's rare though

They were alright, they had known for a couple of months and were happy it was just another box to tick.
it's nothing like our involvement with ss, it doesn't even involve them. The visor contacts their local ss who then phone them to check they are aware of the situation.

I am the same all of a sudden I feel numb again sat all day crying feel sick . I have been better and thought and have been getting on with things but think I was in a dream land that noone will know and I might be lucky.

I am in a constant issue with my daughter wanting her friends over . I feel bad for her I wanted to have my maternity and spend time with her set up outside for her and her friends ect spend time doing things she wants to do . I litlery have to keep the curtains closed so she doesn't see her friends playing and get upset.

My partner doesn't live here and says she should have her friend for tea ect but I just can't get past thinking the horror I would face after . I think before this I would be the same. I wouldn't have been happy .

I also have a chirstening coming up we will only now a few people the rest will be strangers we would of been sat with me ect so I would see that as okay but I don't think we will want to go anyway .

After reading what's happened latley to people I think I need to move but I'm not in a financial situation to move and my family will wonder why because they don't know .

This isn't much help sorry just feel like I have the same worries.

Somthing happend on my street last week somone got ran down and the whole street were out sat on there walls all gossiping I couldn't believe they didn't have the respect to stay inside and not gossip as the person was hurt going to hospital .



So I litlery feel the whole street will be out with pitch forks like in a film.

My mum and dad are Guna hit the roof I havnt told them but there both not well and I have thought of telling them so many times but there always somthing going on with there health and I don't want to worry them .

Xxx

If your partner isn't there then you should have your daughters friends over 100%... There's no reason not to .. have you seen a counselor or therapist for your feelings about this?

I just feel they will go mad when they find out he dose visit after work ect but he definitely wouldn't be anywere n ar when her friends are here. No I haven't :( I'm always with the children and the baby so I never get any time to do anything really . I was going to ring the help line but I just feel it will be like the health visitor she says don't worry think of yourself and it's old news proberly won't be in the media . So I feel these people arnt in the situation like people on the forum . I'm to weak to deal with peoe comment ect I'm an other thinker at the best of times . It's somthing I can't run away from because I want him to be a father to the children xxx

How are u feeling today blackhound must be awfull what your going though :( was it in the local paper then ?

So it would be wise to tell him to avoid coming to visit that day then... Or take the girls over to somewhere else out of the house ... Your daughter needs interaction with her friends... It's really vital she has some sense of normalcy during this tough time.

Oh honey, please don't listen to the health visitor...they know nothing. I genuinely didn't think my partner would be in the paper, he was ... Three single images.

Have you any friends that can look after the baby... Maybe schedule therapy when your daughter is away at school and have the baby with you during therapy... Honestly it's so vital for you to ge able to talk to someone who knows. Especially since you said imyou still have loads of questions... Have you asked your partner these questions?

I'm angry atm tbh that were in this position..

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Yea I can't belive it would be posted for such little imagines. Did it print your address . And I thought people wouldn't behave so bad when there isn't many images xx

Xxx,

I have the same mega anxiety as you with media and neighbourhood reaction. I totally get it xx

We got a draft SHPO in with the evidence from the CPS but there was only really things relating to being on social media on it.