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Me again.
I have therapy today but I wanted to ask, I'm taking a break from living with my partner. I need to space because we've always been so engrained together and I need to know that after a period of not being together physically, if I still feel the same and want to go back to him. I think I will feel the same but whenever I talk to people about it, my mind become very malliable... It almost feels like what they are saying must be true if it hurts my heart a little. But then again so does the though of leaving. I had a sensible conversation with my dad and he suggested the break for a while but keep talking to each other and take thing slowly .. other family members keep saying you can't see it yet but maybe one day you will. In relation to my relationship and being clouded and blinded.
In your opinions, what should I be doing for myself these next eight weeks other than sell the house?
I'm one of those people who thinks black and white in relationships, and battling against that is very hard but its rewarding as well...
What's your experiences been of temporary accommodation separation and discovering how you feel a little more?
I have therapy today but I wanted to ask, I'm taking a break from living with my partner. I need to space because we've always been so engrained together and I need to know that after a period of not being together physically, if I still feel the same and want to go back to him. I think I will feel the same but whenever I talk to people about it, my mind become very malliable... It almost feels like what they are saying must be true if it hurts my heart a little. But then again so does the though of leaving. I had a sensible conversation with my dad and he suggested the break for a while but keep talking to each other and take thing slowly .. other family members keep saying you can't see it yet but maybe one day you will. In relation to my relationship and being clouded and blinded.
In your opinions, what should I be doing for myself these next eight weeks other than sell the house?
I'm one of those people who thinks black and white in relationships, and battling against that is very hard but its rewarding as well...
What's your experiences been of temporary accommodation separation and discovering how you feel a little more?
I've been separated since the day of knock and I honestly still don't know what the future brings I've been through so much. Now he's 50 miles away in a hostel and if km honest it's took a lot of flack off me. I don't have the constant worry about him and am. Able to put myself first, and also see friends etc again, something I've stopped doing, I've isolated myself probably due to the circumstances, but in all honestly I feel. Like I've turned a corner being so far from him. Not that he was ever in my pocket after knock, obviously he coukdnt come to my house with my child here as no contact with under 18s and I have to safeguard my child no matter what, but I popped down to his and we really got to know eachother all over again,. I don't regret that but I do regret all the worrying and stress I put k. Myself considering I did nothing wrong. I ferl relived he's getting the help he nerds and I can concentrate on my own future. Xc
Our situations are very different, my person is in prison and we didn't have a home together and do not have the complexities of that or finding accommodation for us both.
I haven't put any pressure on myself to decide what I will want in terms of relationship. I made some peace with myself and accepted I was effectively still in a relationship with him but that might change any day (you might find it helpful to consider it the other way round). One of the things I've concentrated on is getting back to feeling myself and building my world up so it is fulfilling without him, if I still want to continue with our relationship when in every other respect I feel fulfilled and happy, then for me it will would tell me I want to be with him and I am not filling a gap. I'd really concentrate on your and the opportunities that not living together / being in a relationship offer you. Start visualising what a life might be life apart - What opportunities does that bring and what are the downsides. Its such a hard decision, especially when there are added complexities of children, pets, homes, shared assets.
I haven't put any pressure on myself to decide what I will want in terms of relationship. I made some peace with myself and accepted I was effectively still in a relationship with him but that might change any day (you might find it helpful to consider it the other way round). One of the things I've concentrated on is getting back to feeling myself and building my world up so it is fulfilling without him, if I still want to continue with our relationship when in every other respect I feel fulfilled and happy, then for me it will would tell me I want to be with him and I am not filling a gap. I'd really concentrate on your and the opportunities that not living together / being in a relationship offer you. Start visualising what a life might be life apart - What opportunities does that bring and what are the downsides. Its such a hard decision, especially when there are added complexities of children, pets, homes, shared assets.
Hi, I need advice and help. 5 months ago my husband got arrested for online grooming and going to meet a 15 year old for sex. I've been in shock every since. Both my kids will not speak to me, I am still with him at the moment, because I believe there were some reasons behind why he did it. He has not been charged yet. Is there anyone here in a similar situation and whose family just don't want to know and won't support you. I feel completely alone.
Im glad it taken some flack from you ... It sounds as if it has been such a good thing for you and your mental health. Being able to grow a little more and flex out your social circle. Did you officially separate or just live apart and focus on each other...
It's sort of a good thing that you didn't need to find accommodation then SAL...from what you're saying...
I'm so glad to hear you've taken that pressure away from yourself. If you don't mind my asking SAL, did you agree with your person that you were going into prison still in a relationship?
So for me the biggest challenge is my black and white thinking; I'm try to make peace with the idea that just because we're taking a physical contact break for a while and taking thing slowly, i.e. speak a few times a day but maybe see each other once a week...maybe every other week... Does not mean that I will have to completely cut contact with him until the break is over....
So I busy my world alot, even when he was with me... I worked all of that out during the months up to the trial .. I go out and see people already... I work full time... I can honestly say, and it's only day one so who knows what will happens ... Not being with him offers me maybe a break from an argument here and there and his Nuerodiverse nature which can be bother adorable and loving but erretice...
Before this blew up as well he encouraged and supported me to go back to my course I'd started...
A lot of my family and friends have only ever seen the negatives from him... But I get to see and experience all the positives as well. But I take what you're saying in board... I need to think and I am experiencing life without him.
My therapy went well. We spoke about me people pleasing just so that everyone is no longer telling me I need to leave. Or telling me I deserve better.... I know all of this but also have a brain with thoughts and feelings too.
We spoke about a lot more things and it refreshed me a bit...
I'm so glad to hear you've taken that pressure away from yourself. If you don't mind my asking SAL, did you agree with your person that you were going into prison still in a relationship?
So for me the biggest challenge is my black and white thinking; I'm try to make peace with the idea that just because we're taking a physical contact break for a while and taking thing slowly, i.e. speak a few times a day but maybe see each other once a week...maybe every other week... Does not mean that I will have to completely cut contact with him until the break is over....
So I busy my world alot, even when he was with me... I worked all of that out during the months up to the trial .. I go out and see people already... I work full time... I can honestly say, and it's only day one so who knows what will happens ... Not being with him offers me maybe a break from an argument here and there and his Nuerodiverse nature which can be bother adorable and loving but erretice...
Before this blew up as well he encouraged and supported me to go back to my course I'd started...
A lot of my family and friends have only ever seen the negatives from him... But I get to see and experience all the positives as well. But I take what you're saying in board... I need to think and I am experiencing life without him.
My therapy went well. We spoke about me people pleasing just so that everyone is no longer telling me I need to leave. Or telling me I deserve better.... I know all of this but also have a brain with thoughts and feelings too.
We spoke about a lot more things and it refreshed me a bit...
We were due to get married so wedding cancelled and he can't come to my house due to bail conditions so we completely split at start then we got closer again as months went on and he was honest with me. I still don't know if we have a future but he's my best friend and I'll support him hope you're kero. OK and make the right desision for you x
Sounds as if being forced apart can do some good for your relationship newlady... Did you inform friends and family what happened?
I've only been alone physically since yesterday. We've facetimed and messages an my heart is slowly starting to break.
What if I don't love him at the end of this time apart? It hurts so much right now I don't want to get out of bed.
What if I don't love him at the end of this time apart? It hurts so much right now I don't want to get out of bed.
Bluie,
I'm not sure if it appears as though your comment has been overlooked because you are a new member and comments aren't approved straight away. There are many people on here whose family/friends have turned their back on them unfortunately. Maybe start your own thread and it'll be easier to get some support, one of us can do it for you if you're not sure on how to do it :) x
I'm not sure if it appears as though your comment has been overlooked because you are a new member and comments aren't approved straight away. There are many people on here whose family/friends have turned their back on them unfortunately. Maybe start your own thread and it'll be easier to get some support, one of us can do it for you if you're not sure on how to do it :) x