Strikes
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With the current strikes I was reading some courts already have a 58,000 back log of cases ect what does this mean for us now . Is this going to be a massive wait. Ino we are all in the same boat waiting is the hardest .
But I really don't know how much more I can take . Trying to stay in stay under the radar . There's only so long I can keep it together and distance myself.
I thought about moving now that I'm in a financial place to but that could be worse for me if it's in the media the neighborhood could be worse. There's a tiny bit inside me that thinks if everyone around me knows at least I have some friends that will maybe stick up for me or at least I hope the next door neighbours won't attack the house eect there older and nice people.
I don't know much about the court system would it mean they might put these cases in magistrates instead or is that the same thing do you need barristers in any court.
Being on maternity I thought it might help but it just means I spend all day thinking about it and isolating myself.
I think people might be like get on with your life ect but I just feel like a fraud to friends and family .
This goes for my partner to I don't need the charges to determine our relationship and I should be making the disicion without the public's inputt. If I love him should it matter what others think. But I was kind of waiting to see how different my life would be if I continued.
I know my family will have my back but they won't want me to see him and I really want my girls to have there farther . My little girls think that daddy's just doing alot of work and soon he will be home at night to read stories and cuddle
Xxx
But I really don't know how much more I can take . Trying to stay in stay under the radar . There's only so long I can keep it together and distance myself.
I thought about moving now that I'm in a financial place to but that could be worse for me if it's in the media the neighborhood could be worse. There's a tiny bit inside me that thinks if everyone around me knows at least I have some friends that will maybe stick up for me or at least I hope the next door neighbours won't attack the house eect there older and nice people.
I don't know much about the court system would it mean they might put these cases in magistrates instead or is that the same thing do you need barristers in any court.
Being on maternity I thought it might help but it just means I spend all day thinking about it and isolating myself.
I think people might be like get on with your life ect but I just feel like a fraud to friends and family .
This goes for my partner to I don't need the charges to determine our relationship and I should be making the disicion without the public's inputt. If I love him should it matter what others think. But I was kind of waiting to see how different my life would be if I continued.
I know my family will have my back but they won't want me to see him and I really want my girls to have there farther . My little girls think that daddy's just doing alot of work and soon he will be home at night to read stories and cuddle
Xxx
Okay thank you , the only thing that gets me through eat day is it surley can't be that much longer . Whatever the outcome I just want it done. Like everyone does I surpose .
And yea I think I'm really suffering latley think it's just having a baby all the visitors the fake smile ect got me through now it's the part in materity were the visitors die down everyone's seen the baby and eveen with my first pregnancy I felt a bit down that noone offers support months down the line.
But then they think we're all at home playing happy families they don't eveen know he's moved out .
It's horrible to say I just fidn myself jelous in the street of these people walking about with not a worry in the world happy and free . (They might not be and they could eveen be going through worse )
Somtimes I think we're all alive people loose children or have horrible things happen to them so I shud stop sulking.
This proberly sounds madness but I don't want to ring the helpline or doctors I don't know why I just feel like unless they can make this go away I don't want to talk it all though . Ino it's not all going to disappear and I need to learn how to cope in this situation but what can they say to eveen make me feel better xxx
And yea I think I'm really suffering latley think it's just having a baby all the visitors the fake smile ect got me through now it's the part in materity were the visitors die down everyone's seen the baby and eveen with my first pregnancy I felt a bit down that noone offers support months down the line.
But then they think we're all at home playing happy families they don't eveen know he's moved out .
It's horrible to say I just fidn myself jelous in the street of these people walking about with not a worry in the world happy and free . (They might not be and they could eveen be going through worse )
Somtimes I think we're all alive people loose children or have horrible things happen to them so I shud stop sulking.
This proberly sounds madness but I don't want to ring the helpline or doctors I don't know why I just feel like unless they can make this go away I don't want to talk it all though . Ino it's not all going to disappear and I need to learn how to cope in this situation but what can they say to eveen make me feel better xxx
Xxx you are absolutely right, talking about the problem does not make it go away, but I found counselling, talking to one or two close friends and, to some extent, writing down my thoughts and feelings, helped me to organise my thoughts and understand my emotions (eg what my main fears were and why and how I felt about the situation, and what steps I could take to look after and protect myself and my family). I haven't called the helpline either, but I haven't discounted doing so at some point.
I find that I feel worse if I spend too much time thinking about the situation, which I do on occasion, and that sometimes it's good to step away from this forum for a bit, or do activities that take my mind off it. I do sometimes manage to go a few days without thinking about it now, which is good for my head. And we who have not committed any offence, deserve to have the peace of not thinking about it or being tormented by it. Be kind to yourself.
I find that I feel worse if I spend too much time thinking about the situation, which I do on occasion, and that sometimes it's good to step away from this forum for a bit, or do activities that take my mind off it. I do sometimes manage to go a few days without thinking about it now, which is good for my head. And we who have not committed any offence, deserve to have the peace of not thinking about it or being tormented by it. Be kind to yourself.
Hi XXX,
Your post makes me feel terribly sad. I agree with the others that you are not putting yourself first but it's important that you've reached out and acknowledged it. I think by isolating yourself, it has really knocked your confidence and self-esteem which is something no one on this forum should experience.
I wondered if it would be beneficial for you to join some mother and baby groups perhaps a little outside your area. There's an app (I forget what it's called but will try to find out) that allows you to connect with other families with children on a similar age and I think it would give you a sense of normality. I know you feel anxious, thinking what if people find out, but I really can't reiterate enough that none of this is your fault and you are doing nothing wrong.
Like you, I was reluctant to reach out to professionals. I called the doctors about 4 months after knock and was told to watch some videos online as waiting lists are too long, and then when I've spoken to helplines (not LFF) I've always been met with kindness and sympathy but nothing constructive (I wanted someone to fix it for me too). I think what I'm trying to say is that you need to put yourself first. Only you can decide what tomorrow will looks like. You can deal with everything else if/when it happens but you need to look after yourself now. X
Your post makes me feel terribly sad. I agree with the others that you are not putting yourself first but it's important that you've reached out and acknowledged it. I think by isolating yourself, it has really knocked your confidence and self-esteem which is something no one on this forum should experience.
I wondered if it would be beneficial for you to join some mother and baby groups perhaps a little outside your area. There's an app (I forget what it's called but will try to find out) that allows you to connect with other families with children on a similar age and I think it would give you a sense of normality. I know you feel anxious, thinking what if people find out, but I really can't reiterate enough that none of this is your fault and you are doing nothing wrong.
Like you, I was reluctant to reach out to professionals. I called the doctors about 4 months after knock and was told to watch some videos online as waiting lists are too long, and then when I've spoken to helplines (not LFF) I've always been met with kindness and sympathy but nothing constructive (I wanted someone to fix it for me too). I think what I'm trying to say is that you need to put yourself first. Only you can decide what tomorrow will looks like. You can deal with everything else if/when it happens but you need to look after yourself now. X
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Thank you everyone means alot you all are my therapy at the moment :) I will get my self sorted though. My partner came home in bits today it breaks my heart he has his 2nd interview any advise or anything he should or shouldn't say or questions he should ask xx
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Thank you . Yes the solicitor said he's talking to him before the interview . I'm been waiting for an update and 2nd Interview just not sure I'm Guna cope with the charges . Sending love back xx
Evening Xxx
Totally agree with what Polly said in making sure his solicitor is present
It's a tough journey but you are stronger than this and you will both get through it
We all have those same feelings how will I/ we get through this BUT we do and we are all here to offer support to you both xx
Totally agree with what Polly said in making sure his solicitor is present
It's a tough journey but you are stronger than this and you will both get through it
We all have those same feelings how will I/ we get through this BUT we do and we are all here to offer support to you both xx
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