Family and Friends Forum

You are the same amount of time in as me. The knock came last Wednesday, I have found this forum an absolute rock. The ladies have been amazing. I have even called the helpline which was so beneficial.

I have spend the last 6 days trying to educate myself, it seems porn addiction and an escalation of that often leads men down a rabbit hole to this behaviour. It is not an excuse but has helped me to try and understand. I too am trying to support my husband but I have young children to also consider.

Stay on here and use the support offered x

So sorry to hear your in this situation . Your other son might need some time to get his head around things . Many of this forum have told family and they have wanted nothing to do with them . Then in time they have came round. I'm no wear nearer to the end of this journey just a bit further on than you.

The waiting and the thoughts of what will be are horrible . My partner was on bed for months on tablets ect . He's now had to get up and get work to fund his own flat.

I told my partner that suidice will only be worse for the children eveen though he doesn't feel like it .

Thoughts and hugs for you xxx

Hi there, I know what the first few weeks are like, I like you and many others here fejt completely numb, I have noone to talk to also as I've told none of my family either, he doesn't live with me though and isn't the father of my children which probably makes things easier for me. Like Lee says, have an open and honest conversation with your family, as for finances, I'm in the sane boat, we lived together for 6 years and I dropped my hours at work but I rang citizens advice who were brilliant and git some benefits to top up my wages. I'm still skint but I manage and my bills are paid. Please please lokk after yourself, my gp was great, I got reared to a mental health nurse who was great and counselling. Also your husband and boys will need help too, gjad one of them are ringing the helpline. My person rang them, and still dies 15 months down the line every week and found them amazing. Please remember your husband is still your husband. He just did something very wrong but you can both come back from this. It's a longghg eair, we are still waiting on evidence getting put to barrister but remember it's out of your control unfortunately, it will get calmer eventually I promise xx

Thanks so much Lee, he's did everything in his power to get help his therapist, who's did lff courses herself is brilliant too, she's gonna put in a report for him too so fingers crossed it will help xx

Hey Parkerpoo,

I'm so sorry, I can feel your pain through the screen. Do you have any idea of the level of what you're facing potentially? I'm not asking for you to share but just wanted to say that there are categories that iioc falls into A being the worst and then C which is dealt with less severely - perhaps your husband may not have A or high numbers of any and it may not be as bad as you imagine? It's very scary when the Police first come to your house - I was led to believe my partner was basically in some kind of ring when I got the knock which was absolute rubbish & everything was exaggerated. I'm not trying to diminish what could or couldn't be but I like to be positive and it might not be as bad as you think. When you feel up to it, it might be an idea to sit down with your husband and ask what catergories and numbers he may have looked at so you can both get an idea of what you may be facing. Right now it feels like you want to wake up from a nightmare but it does get easier even though the waiting is almost unbearable. Even if things are found there are ways to cope and move forward. I'm about 15 months in and awaiting trial for my partner, it's a tough journey but we're made of tough stuff. Sending love xx