Police probation "check up"
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Six months after sentencing (2 years suspended, 6 months curfew tag and 10 years SHPO), the police turned up yesterday to "check in" with my ex. He's still living in my house, ans I was horrified to see a proper police car, and two fully uniformed officers. It's a quiet, family estate, so pretty conspicuous! They seemed to suggest it was routine, in which should i expect the same misery every few months??
Anyway, proceeded to go through all our devices, including my laptop, and ask loads of personal questions, including about the state of our relationship and then later about his porn watching/masturbation habits. It was horrible. I walked out the room.
I was horrified to hear that he still watches porn (regular stuff now, I assume, although they took his tablet away to study which is worrying) several times a week or more. Bearing in mind what goes us into this mess, and the end of our marriage, I can't believe it. He seemed to be doing so well, getting his old confidence back, but this has shaken him, and I'm knocked back too.
Does anyone know if these checks are normal, do they always turn up in full high vis uniform?
I can't even deal with the thought of his addiction again yet. They said they'll return the tablet, but it could be a week at least, so I'm holding my breath we're not going through this again!!!!
Just needed to get that out, so much in my head right now ????
Anyway, proceeded to go through all our devices, including my laptop, and ask loads of personal questions, including about the state of our relationship and then later about his porn watching/masturbation habits. It was horrible. I walked out the room.
I was horrified to hear that he still watches porn (regular stuff now, I assume, although they took his tablet away to study which is worrying) several times a week or more. Bearing in mind what goes us into this mess, and the end of our marriage, I can't believe it. He seemed to be doing so well, getting his old confidence back, but this has shaken him, and I'm knocked back too.
Does anyone know if these checks are normal, do they always turn up in full high vis uniform?
I can't even deal with the thought of his addiction again yet. They said they'll return the tablet, but it could be a week at least, so I'm holding my breath we're not going through this again!!!!
Just needed to get that out, so much in my head right now ????
Thanks, I thought it was odd, he's phoned his po and they are looking into it but didn't sound pleased! The officers had no idea about the offence/trial/outcome and kept talking as if it were a contact offence, clearly nothing passed on from the first update after sentencing!!
So sorry to hear this happened to you. We have only had plain clothed officers this far.
They should not be looking at your devices -unless your ex has access to them (which I assume not). Every time they arrive for my partner they ask if he can use my devices and I say no as they are password protected.
I'm hoping whoever allowed this to happen doesn't allow again for anyone else. It isn't fair.
They should not be looking at your devices -unless your ex has access to them (which I assume not). Every time they arrive for my partner they ask if he can use my devices and I say no as they are password protected.
I'm hoping whoever allowed this to happen doesn't allow again for anyone else. It isn't fair.
Goodness me, I hope these checks are subtly carried out. Any police car/ambulance certainly gets curtains twitching on our street.
I told my son on release he needs one big diary to make note of his every move..... if anything happens remotely to do with a sexual offence I'm sure they race round to those 'on licence' this worries me a lot.
I told my son on release he needs one big diary to make note of his every move..... if anything happens remotely to do with a sexual offence I'm sure they race round to those 'on licence' this worries me a lot.
Thanks everybody, it's good to know it wasn't just us feeling hard done by! His po is looking into it and arranged a meeting on Wednesday.
His first meeting after sentencing was a plain clothes officer, and knew the case.... These two?! Hopeless.
His first meeting after sentencing was a plain clothes officer, and knew the case.... These two?! Hopeless.
well he has had a meeting with po today and i'm not very impressed. They were surprised about the uniform/car etc but didn't make any indication that the issues he raised about their behaviour, including not being aware of the details (ie, a non contact offence) and general bad attitude, would go any further.
The police who did the check have passed back to the po details suggesting that some 'problematic' bookmarks were found on the tablet, and that it could be weeks, or months, to go through. He says he doesn't recognise the site names mentioned and doesn't understand what it is they seem to have found. Safe to say, we've gone back to stage one, he's in bits, depressed, scared, miserable and i'm holding the fort.
We've had it out, and he understands that still looking at *any* porn, given his position, was an incredibly stupid thing to do. But until we know more, it's just a waiting game, and I'm sure his po will have something to say at his next scheduled appoinment (this was just an extra catch up)!!
It really is never-ending.
The police who did the check have passed back to the po details suggesting that some 'problematic' bookmarks were found on the tablet, and that it could be weeks, or months, to go through. He says he doesn't recognise the site names mentioned and doesn't understand what it is they seem to have found. Safe to say, we've gone back to stage one, he's in bits, depressed, scared, miserable and i'm holding the fort.
We've had it out, and he understands that still looking at *any* porn, given his position, was an incredibly stupid thing to do. But until we know more, it's just a waiting game, and I'm sure his po will have something to say at his next scheduled appoinment (this was just an extra catch up)!!
It really is never-ending.
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