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Direct Messaging - we need your thoughts!
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Dear Forum Users
You may have seen there has been more interaction recently from ourselves on the forum. We are keen to develop the Family and Friends platform and help in as many ways as possible. With that in mind, we would appreciate your feedback in this thread on the topic of direct messaging. We have been working away behind the scenes looking at the possibilities and how best to provide a direct messaging function on the forum. We would be grateful for your input.
Firstly, what are your thoughts on a DM function, would this be useful?
Secondly, whilst we have been inquiring about this development we have been told it is not feasible to actively monitor messaging as we do with forum posts. A problem would only come to our attention if it was "reported" via a specific button. How do you feel about the safety aspect of this? (It would also be possible to block other forum users).
Lastly, would you like a rule made, for example, "A user is not allowed direct messaging privileges until they have posted and/or replied 20 times"? Or do you think the function should be open to everyone? Are there any other concerns that come to mind about direct messaging?
Any other thoughts or feedback is most welcome. If you would like to mention something but are not comfortable doing so publicly on this thread then please send a message to this email: forumdirectmessages@lucyfaithfull.org.uk
This email address will be operational until the end of July.
Thank you in advance for your participation in this discussion.
Lucy
You may have seen there has been more interaction recently from ourselves on the forum. We are keen to develop the Family and Friends platform and help in as many ways as possible. With that in mind, we would appreciate your feedback in this thread on the topic of direct messaging. We have been working away behind the scenes looking at the possibilities and how best to provide a direct messaging function on the forum. We would be grateful for your input.
Firstly, what are your thoughts on a DM function, would this be useful?
Secondly, whilst we have been inquiring about this development we have been told it is not feasible to actively monitor messaging as we do with forum posts. A problem would only come to our attention if it was "reported" via a specific button. How do you feel about the safety aspect of this? (It would also be possible to block other forum users).
Lastly, would you like a rule made, for example, "A user is not allowed direct messaging privileges until they have posted and/or replied 20 times"? Or do you think the function should be open to everyone? Are there any other concerns that come to mind about direct messaging?
Any other thoughts or feedback is most welcome. If you would like to mention something but are not comfortable doing so publicly on this thread then please send a message to this email: forumdirectmessages@lucyfaithfull.org.uk
This email address will be operational until the end of July.
Thank you in advance for your participation in this discussion.
Lucy
I would love this! It would be so nice to connect with people directly without worrying about putting yourself at risk on other platforms.
I think in regards to safety, anyone registered should first have to send a message request - if this function would be possible kind of like on Insta when people you aren't friends with message you it falls into a requests folder, so people would need to request to message you first. If we notice a name we are unfamiliar with then we can choose to decline to open the message - just in case any nutters join just to abuse us =D
I think in regards to safety, anyone registered should first have to send a message request - if this function would be possible kind of like on Insta when people you aren't friends with message you it falls into a requests folder, so people would need to request to message you first. If we notice a name we are unfamiliar with then we can choose to decline to open the message - just in case any nutters join just to abuse us =D
This would be great.
I agree on the reporting and blocking.
I can see the value in validating a user, but I think 20 posts is quite a large number.
I guess the downside to direct messaging is that some really helpful conversation we see on forum posts may end up happening in inboxes. I know I've seen posts where I have taken great value and benefit from reading, but wouldn't have asked or known to ask the question.
For example I know Lee offer a great support and shares a lot or knowledge. Inadvertently Lee could end up with a very busy inbox and others perhaps not benefit from her knowledge and support.
I agree on the reporting and blocking.
I can see the value in validating a user, but I think 20 posts is quite a large number.
I guess the downside to direct messaging is that some really helpful conversation we see on forum posts may end up happening in inboxes. I know I've seen posts where I have taken great value and benefit from reading, but wouldn't have asked or known to ask the question.
For example I know Lee offer a great support and shares a lot or knowledge. Inadvertently Lee could end up with a very busy inbox and others perhaps not benefit from her knowledge and support.
That's a good point SAL! I was thinking of using it more for chatting personally so yeah I guess we would need to be mindful of trying to contine conversations on here but at the same time some users may want to ask or discuss things they don't feel comfortable posting for everyone to see so I guess it would be good for them.
Yes. It's a toughie. There are people I'd like to perhaps reach out to because I feel there are some things I'd like their advise, views, experience on but to get any real value I'd have to talk about some quite personal and intimate details, some of which I am not comfortable sharing here.
But on balance I think for the really beefy parts of the benefit I've taken from this site is reading others posts. On the legal perspective I wouldn't have had a clue and through this website I've learned so much about the crime, the legalities and the practicalities, I continue to benefit hear what it's like for people living with restrictions is like, learning about their experiences and, their rights, how they have dealt with situations. All in all whatever part of the journey you are on, this forum helps people understand what the next parts of the journey might look like and what to be prepared for and this is achieved by people sharing their experiences in a open forum.
Part of my job is developing software, I'm going to mull this over.
But on balance I think for the really beefy parts of the benefit I've taken from this site is reading others posts. On the legal perspective I wouldn't have had a clue and through this website I've learned so much about the crime, the legalities and the practicalities, I continue to benefit hear what it's like for people living with restrictions is like, learning about their experiences and, their rights, how they have dealt with situations. All in all whatever part of the journey you are on, this forum helps people understand what the next parts of the journey might look like and what to be prepared for and this is achieved by people sharing their experiences in a open forum.
Part of my job is developing software, I'm going to mull this over.
I thought I would be up for this - but on reflection of what others have said I'm worried it would kill the forum.
There is potential that people would make a post and then people replying would flock to their inbox instead of posting on the thread.
As its already been said, I've read threads of information that I would never have thought about otherwise and it's really helped me and my family.. would the threads stay the same?
Those of us who have wanted to connect outside the forum have found a way.. using a little common sense and intuition helps here.
I also worry that this would open up a way for trolls to get in without moderation. One of the things I like about this forum is that it is open and monitored so it takes the weight off posting.
I'm not convinced yano.. but I'm open minded.
There is potential that people would make a post and then people replying would flock to their inbox instead of posting on the thread.
As its already been said, I've read threads of information that I would never have thought about otherwise and it's really helped me and my family.. would the threads stay the same?
Those of us who have wanted to connect outside the forum have found a way.. using a little common sense and intuition helps here.
I also worry that this would open up a way for trolls to get in without moderation. One of the things I like about this forum is that it is open and monitored so it takes the weight off posting.
I'm not convinced yano.. but I'm open minded.
I totally agree with everyone on here it would be amazing to reach out to individuals but would it take away the amount of support and advise this forum offers
There is no where else to go to get much needed and valuable information.
This is such a huge platform where no one is judgemental and the amount of support is so needed xx
There is no where else to go to get much needed and valuable information.
This is such a huge platform where no one is judgemental and the amount of support is so needed xx
I haven't signed up to Mumsnet or whatever it is because I don't need any more distractions than what I already have lol! Almost everyday I come here, go on TikTok, check my emails and occasionally check Instagram, adding something else to my already ridiculous screen time just seems too far for myself. Perhaps it could be a function that some could approve if they wish to have it and if others don't you can turn it off? I absolutely would continue to contribute to the forum (when I have something to speak about or to help/support others) & I personally wouldn't approach anyone outside of the public forum unless it was something irrelevant or just dropping a line to check they're ok.
Sounds good in theory, I sometimes feel a little guilty for incl. a more personal 'chat' on what can be a serious thread.
But I do feel this hopefully breaks the ice a little at times bringing a little 'normality' into our conversations.
In reality it would be a shame to dilute the traffic on the forum.
But I do feel this hopefully breaks the ice a little at times bringing a little 'normality' into our conversations.
In reality it would be a shame to dilute the traffic on the forum.
Hi,
I think my feelings towards this echos what others have said. That being said I have reached out to some incredible people outside of this forum and their friendship and support has gone beyond words (you know who you's are). But this forum has been invaluable, especially in the early days when I was so afraid to post but took comfort reading other peoples stories. Some of the topics on here are eye opening and I have learned so much about this journey, the legal aspects, the emotional aspects everything really. I wouldnt want direct messaging to dilute things that are said on here. It's a tough one because I also think one to one support from someone on this journey is also hugely valuable x
I think my feelings towards this echos what others have said. That being said I have reached out to some incredible people outside of this forum and their friendship and support has gone beyond words (you know who you's are). But this forum has been invaluable, especially in the early days when I was so afraid to post but took comfort reading other peoples stories. Some of the topics on here are eye opening and I have learned so much about this journey, the legal aspects, the emotional aspects everything really. I wouldnt want direct messaging to dilute things that are said on here. It's a tough one because I also think one to one support from someone on this journey is also hugely valuable x
Hi everyone!
I just wanted to say that I don't comment or post much but I read all of your posts and comments.
I still feel utterly traumatised after what happened and other than saying as much, I don't know any of the ropes of what happens next.
Reading all the posts help me enormously (usually!) and I would hate to miss the contributions you all make if the forum wasn't as active.
I can very much see the benefit and use of direct messaging which I myself would almost certainly use. Posting/replying a min of 20 times would exclude me unfortunately, this is too high.
You all do a fantastic thing in sharing your knowledge and your own traumas - thank you so much
I just wanted to say that I don't comment or post much but I read all of your posts and comments.
I still feel utterly traumatised after what happened and other than saying as much, I don't know any of the ropes of what happens next.
Reading all the posts help me enormously (usually!) and I would hate to miss the contributions you all make if the forum wasn't as active.
I can very much see the benefit and use of direct messaging which I myself would almost certainly use. Posting/replying a min of 20 times would exclude me unfortunately, this is too high.
You all do a fantastic thing in sharing your knowledge and your own traumas - thank you so much
Evening,
I love the idea of having a direct message function. I would definitely use it. I share the same view about the number of replies required being too high at 20. Also, the report and block system may cause a lot of work for you guys because people have varying degrees of understanding that people can use a very direct way of wording things depending on where they live and some people are just more direct. I think that there is the potential for offence where none was intended due to this and also high emotions. I wouldn't want to lose the support that we provide to each other regardless of our relationship to the offending person or whether we choose to stand by them or not. Perhaps terms and conditions specifically for the messaging function would be a good idea.
I love the idea of having a direct message function. I would definitely use it. I share the same view about the number of replies required being too high at 20. Also, the report and block system may cause a lot of work for you guys because people have varying degrees of understanding that people can use a very direct way of wording things depending on where they live and some people are just more direct. I think that there is the potential for offence where none was intended due to this and also high emotions. I wouldn't want to lose the support that we provide to each other regardless of our relationship to the offending person or whether we choose to stand by them or not. Perhaps terms and conditions specifically for the messaging function would be a good idea.
Lol Lee, my Nan was Scottish and I've always found Scottish people to be more direct. Also, different cultures seem to be more direct in their language as different cultures have different triggers and discuss things more openly that perhaps us Brits who have been conditioned to believe that we must suffer in silence don't fully appreciate. Possibly me generalising but has been my experience through both my private and professional life
I read the posts a few times a week, i find them supportive, but i dont post very often so if we need to post 20 times I may not reach there. It would be nice to personally send messages of support too.
Yeah for me I welcome your directness because quite frankly we have enough uncertainty in this journey without having to read between the lines when seeking advice xx
I'm nodding along.. I agree that the direct approach is much appreciated, we are given enough waffle and fed rubbish to shush us up.
I also agree that seeing the sweet chats amongst others - like upset and smile - gives me a little smile and softens the subject matter a little. These may be lost to DMs.
I don't know how I would be coping without this forum and the people it has introduced to me and the thought of it changing is upsetting, but that's my mental health talking I guess..
I'm open minded and would certainly like to think that we would protect the forum from dying off into inboxes. I am a bit of a 'if it ain't broke...' kinda gal. X
I also agree that seeing the sweet chats amongst others - like upset and smile - gives me a little smile and softens the subject matter a little. These may be lost to DMs.
I don't know how I would be coping without this forum and the people it has introduced to me and the thought of it changing is upsetting, but that's my mental health talking I guess..
I'm open minded and would certainly like to think that we would protect the forum from dying off into inboxes. I am a bit of a 'if it ain't broke...' kinda gal. X
It might not be the answer, but a suggestion, I wonder if limiting the number of direct messages between users would allow people to make contact but jot deteriorate the content on the forum.
I think a happy medium would be good as I personally just read for advise as I am unsure how to word how I am feeling
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I like the idea of direct messaging if you need to get more info. It would be a good function if you could only directly message in reply to a post. Meaning the original post would still go out and others can still comment and stem from that however, the reply can be private to the persons comment or inclusive on the forum page.
As a new member I know it has taken me weeks to reach out but in those weeks I have read so many conversations that without having then open to me I don't know if I ever would have written in.
Just something to think about I suppose but I firmly support the DM function one way or another.
As a new member I know it has taken me weeks to reach out but in those weeks I have read so many conversations that without having then open to me I don't know if I ever would have written in.
Just something to think about I suppose but I firmly support the DM function one way or another.
Ahhhhhh thanks Polly - I love my chats with Upset, I feel our stories are so close, both our sons serving a lengthy custodial.
I too enjoy lighter moments on the forum....
I too enjoy lighter moments on the forum....
Thank you Polly :-)
It would be great to reach out on here
Like Smile said out situations are very similar and she keeps me sane:) x
It would be great to reach out on here
Like Smile said out situations are very similar and she keeps me sane:) x
I think it would be valuable, took me almost a year to post anything and the threads were invaluable to me so I see that con, but I thi k in the early days I would have dm soneone b4 I git the courage to post. It would also be nice to find out if there was anyone beside me because I'd live to meet abd chat to someone in the sane boat as I'm. Going through this totally in my own x
I was terrified of posting at all for a long time. It has taken me about 18 months to feel a bit more comfortable posting. But reading things on here has been helpful and important for me. With being scared of posting, I doubt you would then be able to build relationships to connect individually through DMs. There are specifics about my own situation where I sometimes feel isolated from the collective experience and that's a struggle in itself (though some of that may be more my internal baggage). I think it could compound some of those feelings if you don't feel able to connect individually, for whatever reason. But I am not sure that's a good enough reason to deny everyone else something that might be really valuable to them. I hope that makes sense?
Whilst we have a discussion on the technical side of the website would it be possible to ask that a tweak can be made on the search function if possible please? When searching for users the results only show responses where another user has posted the name and not any posts made by the user themselves. I've only noticed this when looking back to get an understanding of a user's story today.
Thank you & thank you for the continued work and support you do for us all, it is absolutely appreciated :) x
Thank you & thank you for the continued work and support you do for us all, it is absolutely appreciated :) x
I'm a bit confused re the 20 posts thing. I have rarely posted... but have read a lot!! I find the reading part comforting and useful, I don't think people should be pressurised to post to get the benefit out of this forum
I think it's a brilliant idea .
Hiya x
I think this is a good idea to connect people, to make friends etc, but also agree DMs may mean we lose some of the important information/advice.
I am also concerned that this forum, our safe space might be found by vigilantes if DMs are circulated more freely (although I'm sure this wouldn't happened).
Also a like & heart button would be good too, as I often like/agree comments and it would be good to show the love.
Thanks for listening x
I think this is a good idea to connect people, to make friends etc, but also agree DMs may mean we lose some of the important information/advice.
I am also concerned that this forum, our safe space might be found by vigilantes if DMs are circulated more freely (although I'm sure this wouldn't happened).
Also a like & heart button would be good too, as I often like/agree comments and it would be good to show the love.
Thanks for listening x
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