This Too Shall Pass
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I don't post very often on here but read pretty much daily. Only being 3 months into this journey, I just wanted to share the 4 words that help me through dark times - this too shall pass.
Much like most of you, I've been through every emotion since the day of the knock. I know there's more to come but sometimes I feel somewhat philosophical and think that life is so much more than just this one thing. It doesn't define my fiance nor does it define our lives. I've chosen to continue with my marriage abroad in September - he's shown so much effort in addressing this lifelong issue and life is too short to be anything but happy.
I pass on my momentary strength to all of you in this same horrible boat. x
Much like most of you, I've been through every emotion since the day of the knock. I know there's more to come but sometimes I feel somewhat philosophical and think that life is so much more than just this one thing. It doesn't define my fiance nor does it define our lives. I've chosen to continue with my marriage abroad in September - he's shown so much effort in addressing this lifelong issue and life is too short to be anything but happy.
I pass on my momentary strength to all of you in this same horrible boat. x
I like this so much. And it's so important to remember that there is always a silver lining - however dark the cloud! We're 2.5 months in, but even on day two, I was reassuring partner/ex that there WILL be a life beyond this (even if the journey to the other side is one that noone would ever want to take!). As a proportion of our whole lives, this will be a nasty and significant blip, but we will all be OK. And dare we hope that some good will come out of the horror and hurt and pain - including soul-searching, an honest life, healthier relationships, improved awareness and a knowledge of how to help others to never head down the same path. It will be OK. I also try to keep a sense of proportion - families deal with so much more than this - we are all here, and safe and well. The illegal behaviour - and reasons for it - absolutely need to be recognised, addressed and even punished, but more important is a commitment to never recreating the circumstances that led our people to do what they did. Doesn't mean I'm not bloody furious, upset, angry, heartbroken, ashamed and sad though!
Fragile fiancé and In Tatters
Wow! What a fantastic outlook - that has really lifted me - thank you. X
I think you ability to look at the situation in this way is amazing - and yes there is so much more to our lives, but it is just so difficult to tap into at the beginning.
Thank you both for your insightful comments xx
Wow! What a fantastic outlook - that has really lifted me - thank you. X
I think you ability to look at the situation in this way is amazing - and yes there is so much more to our lives, but it is just so difficult to tap into at the beginning.
Thank you both for your insightful comments xx
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Today, out the blue I'm having a low day.
It's came out of nowhere.
I've been trying to comfort myself with the knowledge that yesterday I felt alright, possibly even good, as did I the day before, and the day before that one etc, so there is a good chance I'll feel like that again - This feeling will pass. It'll come again and go again.
But as Smile says, it leaves scars. This will never leave me entirely. Some aspects of me and possibly friendships will never recover, but at the same time, in some ways I've found strength and compassion that I didn't know I had before.
It's came out of nowhere.
I've been trying to comfort myself with the knowledge that yesterday I felt alright, possibly even good, as did I the day before, and the day before that one etc, so there is a good chance I'll feel like that again - This feeling will pass. It'll come again and go again.
But as Smile says, it leaves scars. This will never leave me entirely. Some aspects of me and possibly friendships will never recover, but at the same time, in some ways I've found strength and compassion that I didn't know I had before.
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Aww, I'm glad this brought some comfort.
Don't get me wrong, I've had my constant ugly crying days where I can't see any light in this eternal tunnel. But moments, hours or days when I feel that things won't always be this bad bring so much comfort. I'm choosing to stay and marry the man who has hurt me so incredibly much. But he's taking so many steps to address the parts of him neither of us love and, maybe it's because I'm a hopeless optimist or believe in fairytales, but we all deserve happy endings - however they look. After all, every Disney movie has its part where everything seems so hopeless...but somehow they get through - and I want that for us and all of you.
I'm currently listening to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway to help me with dealing with anxiety/panic attacks I have in certain situations but one of the fundamental things I've taken from it so far is the notion that underneath all of our fears/worries about the future is the feeling that we won't be able to handle whatever comes our way. The phrase "I'll handle it" is another one that is aimed to provide comfort and confidence that, whatever this horrendous journey puts us through, we'll handle it.
Don't get me wrong, I've had my constant ugly crying days where I can't see any light in this eternal tunnel. But moments, hours or days when I feel that things won't always be this bad bring so much comfort. I'm choosing to stay and marry the man who has hurt me so incredibly much. But he's taking so many steps to address the parts of him neither of us love and, maybe it's because I'm a hopeless optimist or believe in fairytales, but we all deserve happy endings - however they look. After all, every Disney movie has its part where everything seems so hopeless...but somehow they get through - and I want that for us and all of you.
I'm currently listening to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway to help me with dealing with anxiety/panic attacks I have in certain situations but one of the fundamental things I've taken from it so far is the notion that underneath all of our fears/worries about the future is the feeling that we won't be able to handle whatever comes our way. The phrase "I'll handle it" is another one that is aimed to provide comfort and confidence that, whatever this horrendous journey puts us through, we'll handle it.
It's a horrible thing to have to go though and I'm not sure what will happen but it's made me appreciate my girls so much and every day I cherish them ( even though I would like 2 mins alone or to pee alone) everything they do I'm so lucky to see it all and be there though each step of there lives and I feel a better mother for this . As much as I would love a family unit and am so upset my partner can't be here for most speacial moments. I feel they get more attention and more time spend on them and what they need xxx
Yes to this thread!! Xxxxx
It's truly a horrific journey to be on but I agree, regardless of outcomes it will pass and whilst we're waiting for it to pass we should enjoy whatever we can.
Lots of love xxxxx
Lots of love xxxxx
Yes Baffled I agree with you - my son still has a couple of years in custody and it frightens me I'll be pension age when he is released.
I try very very hard to enjoy each day as I know how life slips by - but it can be hard with this cloud over you and a lingering background feeling of sadness.
Then I think about what In Tatters said we are all here and healthy isn't that the top priority? Took its toll but we continue to fight the battle....
I try very very hard to enjoy each day as I know how life slips by - but it can be hard with this cloud over you and a lingering background feeling of sadness.
Then I think about what In Tatters said we are all here and healthy isn't that the top priority? Took its toll but we continue to fight the battle....
Age is nothing but a number Smile :). It'll be here before you know it! I absolutely agree, sometimes I get so panicky and worry about all of this but really, it's nothing I can't fight against! I got a call to go for a screening the other day and it made me think - actually THIS is what is important, being alive and healthy! I also think sometimes about those who have family members/partners who have committed more serious crimes and think about how the hell they cope. Xx
You right Baffled - shortly my son is halfway through his sentence, it's flown by!!!!