Can I tell someone?
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My younger brother is the offender in this situation. Understandably both he and my mother want this to remain private however, I have been finding this all very hard to get my head around d as I have a 1yo daughter.
My two best friends have noticed I am struggling with something serious is up with me and keep calling and texting. I want nothing more than to get their support as I know they would but this would go against the wishes of my family.
I am stuck between getting the support I need/want and upsetting my family more than it already is.
Anyone had this situation and if so when or did you tell anyone?
My two best friends have noticed I am struggling with something serious is up with me and keep calling and texting. I want nothing more than to get their support as I know they would but this would go against the wishes of my family.
I am stuck between getting the support I need/want and upsetting my family more than it already is.
Anyone had this situation and if so when or did you tell anyone?
Hi Scotland1010
It is my son who is an offender so different to your situation but my 26 year old daughter has been my rock in all of this
It is so difficult to know what to do for the best as once you tell someone it is out there and with not knowing the outcome makes it even harder
But you also have to put yourself first and look after you and your child, you know your friends better than anyone else so the decision has to be what is right for you
There is no right or wrong and this journey can push you to the limit so having someone else to confide in and be a support mechanism can also bring you some much needed help x
You can also talk to the helpline they are very understanding
You are not alone xx
It is my son who is an offender so different to your situation but my 26 year old daughter has been my rock in all of this
It is so difficult to know what to do for the best as once you tell someone it is out there and with not knowing the outcome makes it even harder
But you also have to put yourself first and look after you and your child, you know your friends better than anyone else so the decision has to be what is right for you
There is no right or wrong and this journey can push you to the limit so having someone else to confide in and be a support mechanism can also bring you some much needed help x
You can also talk to the helpline they are very understanding
You are not alone xx
Thank you upset mum and Lee.
I will stick with the helplines and councillors for now then. Have never had any health issues in my life I am now on all sorts for anxiety and have no idea what to tell people when they ask what's up.
So angry to be in this position yet so confused because he is my brother and I will never not love him.
The journey continues I suppose.
I will stick with the helplines and councillors for now then. Have never had any health issues in my life I am now on all sorts for anxiety and have no idea what to tell people when they ask what's up.
So angry to be in this position yet so confused because he is my brother and I will never not love him.
The journey continues I suppose.
Just an alternative perspective. It took me many months to tell friends but as it turned out for me, those I have told have been amazing. With others, I have shared just a little and they have accepted I want to keep some elements private. Maybe it's been easier for me than some as it was my husband and we separated. On the other hand, two out of three of his close friends walked away from him and that utterly devastated me as I had hoped he would have some support. I think my advice would be give yourself a bit of time to think it through. You are in a state of shock at first which means making decisions making is difficult. Talking in safe spaces is probably your best first step. Good friends will accept that you are having a tough time but don't want to share details. If they don't respect that then maybe they're not the best support for you anyway in this situation.
Thank you so much Ellen. This makes so much sense also. I am lucky I feel because either know my friend will support me but like Lee said we can't actually forsee the rest of what will come. I'll make a point of chatting to a helpline first as I am still on in the first 3 weeks.
Let's hope that takes some of this burden off. I feel so much for everyone of you in this situation.
Peace and love to you all
Let's hope that takes some of this burden off. I feel so much for everyone of you in this situation.
Peace and love to you all
My advice is to be very careful.
This is not your story to tell. Your brother should have a say in who you tell in my opinion - this is his offence and his business.
Having said that I completely understand that you need support with this - it's huge. But please think very carefully before you go about telling your brothers situation to other people who aren't connected to him. You have no idea how people will react.
You have the option to seek therapy or counselling, ring the helpline, post here.
Xxx
This is not your story to tell. Your brother should have a say in who you tell in my opinion - this is his offence and his business.
Having said that I completely understand that you need support with this - it's huge. But please think very carefully before you go about telling your brothers situation to other people who aren't connected to him. You have no idea how people will react.
You have the option to seek therapy or counselling, ring the helpline, post here.
Xxx