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Sentencing feeling heart broken

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Taylor800

Member since
January 2022

7 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 2:06pmReport post

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Edited Sat July 16, 2022 10:01pm

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1000 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 2:19pmReport post

I'm so sorry things went this way for you all. SS may be in contact now as they usually are after sentencing. Had you planned what contact your children would have if he was given a custodial and discussed this with ss? If you did then they may just call in the next couple of weeks to confirm this. Sending love xx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 2:24pmReport post

I'm so so sorry, look after yourself and your children I don't know your story but are there any grounds for appeal? Hopefully ss don't stick their nose in too much right now you've enough to deal with, sending big hugs xx

InTatters

Member since
June 2022

175 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 2:24pmReport post

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Edited Sat April 8, 2023 9:02am

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 2:25pmReport post

Hey Taylor,

I'm so sorry! I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Deep breaths, you don't have to say much right now or do much until you feel ready to do it. You will get through this xxx

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 2:56pmReport post

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Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Ellen44

Member since
November 2020

22 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 3:52pmReport post

I'm so sorry. Nearly 4 months in here. The way it worked for us is he had to fill in a request in prison to have contact with the children. They then wrote to me for my views. Following this the prison asked Social Care to assess and offer a view about contact in prison. They came out to see is once and that was it. We are now at the next stage of getting the views of Probation on contact. In our case it has been a slow process, I think it varies depending on the prison and there were some cock ups and delays. Once they have this information the prison makes a decision. On a more positive note I don't think prison is as awful as I imagined, just very boring for the prisoners. And once I can take my son, which I am pretty confident will be agreed, it's really not a terrible environment to take them in compared to what I imagined. It's hard but it's less painful for me now ( albeit we are separated). If there's anything else you want to ask please do. But I think it probably needs to sink in at the moment.

Ellen44

Member since
November 2020

22 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 3:53pmReport post

Oh and yes, they only serve half the sentence in prison.

InTatters

Member since
June 2022

175 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 4:29pmReport post

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Edited Sat April 8, 2023 9:02am

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 4:39pmReport post

Tatters read this it hadd more information on lengths of time served https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/sentencing-and-the-council/types-of-sentence/determinate-prison-sentences/

Edited Fri July 8, 2022 4:51pm

Ellen44

Member since
November 2020

22 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 5:04pmReport post

Sorry if that was misleading, I only know the bits I have to picked up. It's so confusing at the start.

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Fri July 8, 2022 5:13pmReport post

I cannot imagine what you are feeling Taylor.
Do something nice for you and the kids, and deal with it tomorrow. Big hugs and thoughts to you all x

Sarah ??

Member since
January 2021

177 posts

Posted Sat July 9, 2022 1:51pmReport post

Hello,

Please contact children heard and seen. They offer support from mentoring to summer camps and everything in between. There is also a group run by CHAS on Friday mornings for parents of a person convicted (given a prison sentence) of an sexual offence.

If you need anything please get in touch with them.

My ex was sentenced in November last year. It does settle but I understand the pain and anxiety you are currently going through.

Xxx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sat July 9, 2022 2:29pmReport post

Sending you love Taylor xxxxx

Edited Sat July 9, 2022 2:30pm

CornishTea

Member since
August 2019

91 posts

Posted Sat July 9, 2022 2:54pmReport post

I have no words but understand your pain, be kind to yourself xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Sat July 9, 2022 4:25pmReport post

Taylor800

Sending strength and hugs to you both xx

Taylor800

Member since
January 2022

7 posts

Posted Sat July 9, 2022 5:57pmReport post

Thank you so much for all of your support.

I have contacted Children heard and seen, I'm hoping to hear from them on Monday and then after some advice I'm going to break the news to my children.

I've still not heard from him yet even though the Barrister said he'd be able to make a call when he gets to the prison. However, I read it can take a while to get a phone call as they need to process him first. Does anyone know how long it will be until I hear anything? I'm finding it quite difficult not knowing anything at all.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Sat July 9, 2022 6:16pmReport post

Taylor800

It can take several days unfortunately until they approve your number on the system

And even if you know where he has gone and phone them they cant tell you anything as again your details need to be approved

I know it doesn't make you feel any better but they will look after him and check that he is ok he will probably be put on an induction wing for VP inmates

Once you have contact it will at least give you some reassurance and you will be able to talk to him xx

Hugs xx

Nemesis

Member since
July 2021

125 posts

Posted Sat July 9, 2022 6:56pmReport post

I not on contact (since the knock) but children heard and seen are fab. They will guide you with the words for the children which is age appropriate



my children are now asking more and more but in my situation contact will be very very limited until they are 18.



But his parents said that contact can be difficult and at strange times, be kind to yourself

Sarah ??

Member since
January 2021

177 posts

Posted Sat July 9, 2022 7:02pmReport post

Hi,

In our case he wasn't allowed the 'I'm here/reception' phonecall due to his offending. He had to be risk assessed internally before being permitted phonecalls.

There's a leaflet on the chas website about telling children if you need it sooner. Do ask about the Friday group. It is extremely useful and supportive.

X

Ellen44

Member since
November 2020

22 posts

Posted Sun July 10, 2022 12:06amReport post

It took a while to hear any news directly, possibly a couple of weeks before he could call. But I found out who his Probation Officer was and spoke to them, they were all allocated following sentencing. They had to speak to him to get his permission to talk to me and were able to pass on that he was ok in the process.

Sandy

Member since
April 2021

18 posts

Posted Sun July 10, 2022 7:22amReport post

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Edited Sun July 10, 2022 4:19pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Sun July 10, 2022 8:19amReport post

Hi ladies,

Remember any time spent in prison (on remand) will be deducted. Once in prison you get notification of your sentence/parole dates etc.

Please correct me if I'm wrong but do you serve a slightly longer time in custody for a sex offence? Obviously then leading on to time on licence......

My son has been moved to four different prisons and each time rang surprisingly quickly. The system is really hot on keeping ties with loved ones as a lot of men are sadly abandoned by their families. I'm sure once you have this call it'll put your mind a little more at rest. Bless x

Edited Sun July 10, 2022 8:31am