I don't know when to begin!
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Unbeknown to me, my husband joined at chatroom last November. Now believe it was a anti- p group and they were using decoys. Last year was quite bad for my husband, he was made redundant and 2 months later his Dad died quite suddenly. I will not make excuses, but believe these events affected him deeply, so I see a reason why he did what he did. He has got himself into some serious trouble, he started sexual chat with who he thought was 18, at some point she said she was 15, he continued. He booked an Air b&b and planned to meet up and see what " happens". Only found out yesterday after 5 months since he was arrested and bailed, that he also sent sexual pictures of himself and a video of him doing a sexual act. I have supported him and stayed with him, but the last 5 months have been a living hell. He is struggling, suffering depression and has suidual thoughts, I only got him to see a doctor a week ago. He had his second interview yesterday, where he was charged and has to go to a magistrates court in a month's time, he currently has no solicitor, so we need to sort this out. I have two adult children, no his, I remarried and 3 young grandsons, my son will not speak to me and my daughter doesn't understand why we are still together. I could really do this some support and help. I feel so alone and isolated.
Hi Bluie
just to let you know I am here for you. It is a hard lonely journey but there will be no judgment on here..... only support....
it is so hard to understand how a loved one goes down this road and does such things yet lead a normal life.
keep posting, get that support and big hug sent x
just to let you know I am here for you. It is a hard lonely journey but there will be no judgment on here..... only support....
it is so hard to understand how a loved one goes down this road and does such things yet lead a normal life.
keep posting, get that support and big hug sent x
Sending love and support . Everyone has great advise on here . Keep strong xx
Sorry for the delay in replying, I work full time and not able to do this at work. I have been reading posts on here for a couple of weeks now, you are all so inspiring.
I would like to thank those of you for your support and advice on my first post, I really don't know who else or where to go to, only you guys can fully understand what I'm going through, as you all are as well.
This is for Lee, who is so kind. When my husband was first arrested in January, he did have a duty solicitor. He has been reporting on bail every month since, the last 2 months when I started to go with him, he was told the CPS did not have enough evidence and the police were told to dig deeper. Then last weekend, after waiting an hour and a half, he was taken in and charged with 3 different counts, he declined a solicitor as we had already been waiting so long .
I would like to thank those of you for your support and advice on my first post, I really don't know who else or where to go to, only you guys can fully understand what I'm going through, as you all are as well.
This is for Lee, who is so kind. When my husband was first arrested in January, he did have a duty solicitor. He has been reporting on bail every month since, the last 2 months when I started to go with him, he was told the CPS did not have enough evidence and the police were told to dig deeper. Then last weekend, after waiting an hour and a half, he was taken in and charged with 3 different counts, he declined a solicitor as we had already been waiting so long .
Hi Bluie
I am so sorry that you have joined the club no one wishes to join, but you will get good support and sharing of knowledge/advise here from all the members.
After reading your posts something that struck me was that it would be good for you and your husband to talk to the helpline, if you have not already done so. They can support you both through this process.
It's unfortunate that your husband did not have a solicitor with him yesterday. Was he interviewed again (should have really had a solicitor present) or was he just given the charges (not necessary for a solicitor to be present), I really hope it was the latter.
It is really importaant that you find a solicitor now, if he is in court in a month's time which can be sticking with the duty solicitor he had at his first interview or changing to a new one.
whilst writing this post, I see Lee has already replied with good advice, so sorry if any of this is repeating what has already been said.
Please look after yourself.
I am so sorry that you have joined the club no one wishes to join, but you will get good support and sharing of knowledge/advise here from all the members.
After reading your posts something that struck me was that it would be good for you and your husband to talk to the helpline, if you have not already done so. They can support you both through this process.
It's unfortunate that your husband did not have a solicitor with him yesterday. Was he interviewed again (should have really had a solicitor present) or was he just given the charges (not necessary for a solicitor to be present), I really hope it was the latter.
It is really importaant that you find a solicitor now, if he is in court in a month's time which can be sticking with the duty solicitor he had at his first interview or changing to a new one.
whilst writing this post, I see Lee has already replied with good advice, so sorry if any of this is repeating what has already been said.
Please look after yourself.
Hi Lee, I'm home. What info do you need about the charges, there are no's in brackets and then a paragraph of writing for each one. We both contacted the LFF helpline when this first began. My husband found them not very helpful, as he was told he had to tell his work place. He does not work with or has any contact with under 18' s , so not sure what that was about.
Three months in, I manage to get him to look at the self help modules and work through them, he was doing this twice a week and still is.
He starts the counselling this week, I believe it's called Inform, he has gone for the one to one, because he believes that will help him more, he really is trying. But he is so disgusted with himself and full of guilt and shame, that he had been keeping all the facts to himself, but if course reading the charge sheet, I could see it all. He says he dies not know why he did it or what the trigger was, gr hopes counselling with get to the bottom of it
I'm just so scared he will go to prison, don't think he will survive and I'm petrified as well, for him and me. It's just such a mess.
Three months in, I manage to get him to look at the self help modules and work through them, he was doing this twice a week and still is.
He starts the counselling this week, I believe it's called Inform, he has gone for the one to one, because he believes that will help him more, he really is trying. But he is so disgusted with himself and full of guilt and shame, that he had been keeping all the facts to himself, but if course reading the charge sheet, I could see it all. He says he dies not know why he did it or what the trigger was, gr hopes counselling with get to the bottom of it
I'm just so scared he will go to prison, don't think he will survive and I'm petrified as well, for him and me. It's just such a mess.