Decision making
Notifications OFF
Morning . Just jotting down the old thoughts .
While making a decisions to stay or leave ect I feel there isn't really any choice . If my daughters wants there dad back and to try and get over this I will have to live together one day . But how would that work could she have a friend over if he was out ect or is it just a no no .
I feel life is to short to be upset everyday but I just can't stop thinking . My friends due to give birth and his friend has a new daughter but we won't be able to see then and how can he explain how he can't meet his best friend's child .
How can I move house I have no money have so much stuff would need 4 lorries . If he looses his job and flat then I would have to live with him aswell but we're and how . I want to have a meeting with social services to ask a millions questions but ino there answers are not to see him.
We currently spend the weekends at the park or swimming ect but how can we do this I feel like she shouldn't anywway.
I can't just leave. I can't eveen work my job after maternity because it's not in nursery hours . Ino that I don't want a life with no friends and children round . All my life I have wanted a big family and friends and BBQs and holidays I don't cope well just me and the partner I always feel alone and bored. I am an only children and I don't have the massive family events that I always wanted . I never had sleep overs at my house or friends round I always felt like a werido that my mum didn't like doing that and missed out.
I just don't know we're all this will end and how it can get better really .
Alot of people say move ect for media but we're to and how and how will it won't be the same there . I wish I could move house to at least have a garden not in few because when my little girl sees all the BBQs and kids all over at the houses she wants to go or invite them round everyday I have to make up excuses to her daddy's working all night . Not today ect but I feel she will be affected some how and will soon know all my lies . She knows things are wrong she tells me she hasn't seen me kiss daddy ect .
I can't take the telling the parents I would prefer to take the news to the grave but also thing each day that passes is more reason for them not to forgive me for telling them xx
While making a decisions to stay or leave ect I feel there isn't really any choice . If my daughters wants there dad back and to try and get over this I will have to live together one day . But how would that work could she have a friend over if he was out ect or is it just a no no .
I feel life is to short to be upset everyday but I just can't stop thinking . My friends due to give birth and his friend has a new daughter but we won't be able to see then and how can he explain how he can't meet his best friend's child .
How can I move house I have no money have so much stuff would need 4 lorries . If he looses his job and flat then I would have to live with him aswell but we're and how . I want to have a meeting with social services to ask a millions questions but ino there answers are not to see him.
We currently spend the weekends at the park or swimming ect but how can we do this I feel like she shouldn't anywway.
I can't just leave. I can't eveen work my job after maternity because it's not in nursery hours . Ino that I don't want a life with no friends and children round . All my life I have wanted a big family and friends and BBQs and holidays I don't cope well just me and the partner I always feel alone and bored. I am an only children and I don't have the massive family events that I always wanted . I never had sleep overs at my house or friends round I always felt like a werido that my mum didn't like doing that and missed out.
I just don't know we're all this will end and how it can get better really .
Alot of people say move ect for media but we're to and how and how will it won't be the same there . I wish I could move house to at least have a garden not in few because when my little girl sees all the BBQs and kids all over at the houses she wants to go or invite them round everyday I have to make up excuses to her daddy's working all night . Not today ect but I feel she will be affected some how and will soon know all my lies . She knows things are wrong she tells me she hasn't seen me kiss daddy ect .
I can't take the telling the parents I would prefer to take the news to the grave but also thing each day that passes is more reason for them not to forgive me for telling them xx
You've gotta lot going on in that head of yours Xxx.
So I've been taught to 'deal with the knowns'. We don't know the future yet, but know right now. You know what you can do today.
Your mum guilt for the children dosnt help matters... mum guilt is the worst, but it sounds like you're doing some lovely things at the weekends, and the weather is lovely right now so continue enjoying those outdoor things.. we will worry about winter when it gets here.
As far as moving goes, I know we see media storms on here and advice is to move.. but the reality is we can't all move. If it comforts you, I won't be moving. We can't afford it so we will be staying put. Not everyone who has been on this journey has moved house or area so try not to read too much into that. However I do share your media anxiety!!!
Lots of love xxx
So I've been taught to 'deal with the knowns'. We don't know the future yet, but know right now. You know what you can do today.
Your mum guilt for the children dosnt help matters... mum guilt is the worst, but it sounds like you're doing some lovely things at the weekends, and the weather is lovely right now so continue enjoying those outdoor things.. we will worry about winter when it gets here.
As far as moving goes, I know we see media storms on here and advice is to move.. but the reality is we can't all move. If it comforts you, I won't be moving. We can't afford it so we will be staying put. Not everyone who has been on this journey has moved house or area so try not to read too much into that. However I do share your media anxiety!!!
Lots of love xxx
I am assuming that your partner is not sentenced yet with a SHPO? It will be the SHPO that will restriction contact (if the condition is added). I'm not sure what SS can say if he goes to family and friends events if there isn't a clause after sentencing - maybe some here can clarify.
But I thought I should let you know that there may be a chance that you can go as a family to events with children, it may not be a complete no no, the future is uncertain so there can be hope. My partner had to disclose to my aunt and uncle and I thought they would ban him from family events, but they didn't and SS are ok with it. I havent disclosed to my side of the family however...but they didn't see much of my partner anyway. It also gives me the freedom to be away from him for a bit.
As a kid I didn't have many people over and didn't bother me. In fact I was a nervous kid and found hosting stressful. I much preferred going to others houses, it was a change of scenery.
But I thought I should let you know that there may be a chance that you can go as a family to events with children, it may not be a complete no no, the future is uncertain so there can be hope. My partner had to disclose to my aunt and uncle and I thought they would ban him from family events, but they didn't and SS are ok with it. I havent disclosed to my side of the family however...but they didn't see much of my partner anyway. It also gives me the freedom to be away from him for a bit.
As a kid I didn't have many people over and didn't bother me. In fact I was a nervous kid and found hosting stressful. I much preferred going to others houses, it was a change of scenery.
Thank you yea it's so annoying over thinking everything I try and live for today but I feel in just trying to not make connections with any one at the school and things to avoid arkward moments. I never done all the schools runs before so everyone's wanting to be friends and okay dates which is what I have always wanted but now I'm trying to avoid that . My little girl didn't really like to stay in after school she's so full of eneegy wants to do a million things. Finding it hard with the 2 now 24/7 needing a break . And no he hasn't been sentenced yet or charges just second interview . But there trying with everything they can . Even covering up pokice evednace. I surpose were all still here so that's a positive people are going though alot worse than me. But I think social will make issues they sed he can't go anywere unless everyone knows ect but it's pretty impossible to tell everyone on a guest list at a wedding when you don't know anyone else other than the person getting married. He won't want to go to any social events it's just more walking the streets and keeping his job . But each day there a new upset sports day ect little ones upset whybdaddy didn't go . He did alot of looking after her when I worked so there very close and used to alot of time alone . She's basilcy sick of me and asks why I always have to do things with them haha xxx