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It has all happened so fast

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Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Fri July 15, 2022 8:55amReport post

I do not even know where to begin. We had the knock, arrested, charged all within three days. Been to court already on day four. Hubby pleaded guilty, felt so remorseful and suidical did not ask for bail. Said he deserved to be in there. So I am out here trying to make sense of what has happened. Sentencing will be next week.



We were told he would have a pre sentencing report, this has not been done yet, with only three working days left and a prison full of covid I am unsure if it will be done. Have been unable to see my hubby due to him getting covid and only just got the telephone number approved. Have been unable to discuss anything with him. I do not even know what happened on his day of arrest. Solicitor is not answering my calls and due to covid my hubby has not spoken to them either. We know nothing about accountability or charactor references but have no time to organise anything.



i am so confused, hurt and frightened. Like most people I am terrified of the media. I have had no time to even talk to hubby let alone decide if we will stay together. It is just over two weeks since this has happened. I have already lost friends over this as I naively told friends as presumed it was a mistake, only to find the day of the hearing he pleaded guilty, to what I am not sure. I was in so much shock on the day of the hearing having never set foot in a magistrated court before that I do not know what the charges are fo

so he has obvioulsy done wrong, but seems intent to take anything they give him without any fight. Being suicidal does not help and I have no idea how to handle this situation.

I just wanted to have a rant as I have no control over any of this and just feel lost. Feeling very alone and isolated.

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1000 posts

Posted Fri July 15, 2022 9:19amReport post

Hi,

I'm sorry that you're going through this. You've absolutely done the right thing posting on here for advice and support. Have you been able to eat, drink and sleep when you can? It's very important to remember to look after yourself too.

You really don't have much information to be able to give advice around what your husband may be facing etc. The solicitor won't speak to you about details unless your husband has given you full disclosure. From what you've said about the psr not being done yet, I would think it's unlikely that sentencing will go ahead next week. Character references would usually be sent over to the judge beforehand. If you have an email address for his solicitor you could send them over so they've got them. There is advice on writing them a few posts down in this section. Has your husband seen a dr in prison for his suicidal thoughts? You can call the prison and let them know how he's feeling if they're not aware. They will check on him and arrange someone from their medical team to speak to him.

Sending love xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Fri July 15, 2022 12:12pmReport post

Thank you for your support.

I have just spoken to my hubby. They are doing the report today so sentencing will go ahead. My hubby has been on suicide watch in the prison but i think he is out of that now.
i have not eaten much. Sleeping is a challenge. I have adult children who have stepped up thank goodness otherwise I do not know where I would be. Think it is too late to do charactor statements. So we will have to just go with the report being done today.

Finding sorting out finances is a nightmare. As he is not here cannot seem to do much, facing a brick wall on every turn.

Feeling stressed about the sentencing but at least we will know more about our immedicate future.

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Fri July 15, 2022 2:11pmReport post

Whilst my person wasn't suicidal, I did feel like he was just rolling over and just taking what was being thrown at him, so I can relate in some ways to how you must be feeling.

I don't know a huge amount about the legal preceedings, so I may not be best place to talk about the steps in the judicial system but the sequence of events does seem very fast. As I understand it a knock would happen, evidence gathered and submitted to the CPS with a decision on whether to charge and what those charges will be (which takes months) , often people are released on bail whilst awaiting charges and sometimes they are remanded in custody prior to charge (but I don't know much about this, there are people on here who's person has been held on remand) but in all cases I've seen and read on here - Court was many months later.

I'm hoping someone else can offer some input here as to what is happening, what he needs to be doing and what his rights are - The outcome will impact him for a very long time so what he is doing now is very important.

Do you know what the charges are?

This will be such an incredible shock for you and very hard when not being able to talk to him freely. How are you holding up?

Edited Fri July 15, 2022 2:28pm

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Tue July 19, 2022 1:52amReport post

Thanks for all the kind words. Taking each day as it comes. Sentencing this week so hoping for a good outcome.



I have good days and bad. Hoping I have more of the good.