I just don't know what to do
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Last monday one of my twin girls came to walk me home from work, a 10 min round trip. When we got home the house was full of police, my husband was gone, and my other daughter was cowering in her room.
He had been arrested in connection with online contact with children.
We've been married 20 yrs. What do I do now?
I couldn't speak to him for 48 hrs. I feel completely abandoned, by him by police, by social services. We live at his place of work and suddenly he is not here. What do I say to people?
What do I tell the kids?
We will definatley need to move, how do I afford a place?
We were supposed to hear from social services, how long does this take?
Do I throw all our savings into renting a place privately, or do I wait for council housing?
Do I take him back?????
He had been arrested in connection with online contact with children.
We've been married 20 yrs. What do I do now?
I couldn't speak to him for 48 hrs. I feel completely abandoned, by him by police, by social services. We live at his place of work and suddenly he is not here. What do I say to people?
What do I tell the kids?
We will definatley need to move, how do I afford a place?
We were supposed to hear from social services, how long does this take?
Do I throw all our savings into renting a place privately, or do I wait for council housing?
Do I take him back?????
First of all sorry you're here, second you're still in that shock minefield place we've all been to so don't make any harsh decisions yet. You don't have to tell anyone anything yet. We are just left to deal with everythingwith no support, I had to find this forem by myself it's so unfair. Do you know where your husband is? He needs to give you answers and be honest, it's hard to hear but better for your head in long run. Please contact your gp, fir you and your girls, it's a huge trauma and you need support. I just told everyone I kicked him out becauce was talking to girls online, which is the truth, but it was teen girls (police decoy). Once you get all the facts then you can make a decision to leave your home, stay with hubby etc you don't have to make any decisions yet as it's a longgg process, 18 months later I'm supporting my person but still hvnt committed to anything and we live apart. Look after you and your girls right now it might not feel like it but it eventually calms down a bit. We a understand here so please come here with any questions or just a rant xx
Oh and you all can phone the helpline here, it can sometimes be hard to get through but it's worth it xx
Hey,
I'm so sorry you find yourself here and send my sympathies to you and your girls, and also your husband. It's an awful process and the initial shock of it all is horrendous. The whole process usually takes a very long time - devices being checked, investigation, charging decision then court. Has he admitted to anything in his interview and has he seen any of the evidence? There's so much to take in and there's no immediate rush to decide what you want to do in terms of your relationship. There's lots of advice and help on here for dealing with social services - which is very valuable because a lot of social workers don't seem to follow process. The main thing right now is to look after yourself and your girls. Ring the council and see if they can help you. Hopefully the other users on here may have some more resources. Sending love xx
I'm so sorry you find yourself here and send my sympathies to you and your girls, and also your husband. It's an awful process and the initial shock of it all is horrendous. The whole process usually takes a very long time - devices being checked, investigation, charging decision then court. Has he admitted to anything in his interview and has he seen any of the evidence? There's so much to take in and there's no immediate rush to decide what you want to do in terms of your relationship. There's lots of advice and help on here for dealing with social services - which is very valuable because a lot of social workers don't seem to follow process. The main thing right now is to look after yourself and your girls. Ring the council and see if they can help you. Hopefully the other users on here may have some more resources. Sending love xx
Thank you both, we are another week down the line and I think the worst of the shock has passed. I am still entirely bewildered by what has happened and the fact that nothing has happened.
Hey,
It's amazing what time can do, even a week! This journey is a rollercoaster. It's absolutely baffling how the process works and how long it is. My partner is 16 months in now after pleading not guilty and it's been such a farce. It's easier said than done but the best advice is to go about life as normal. Either wait and weigh up what you want to do about your relationship and try to work through it or plan a way out on your terms. Either way, there is no immediate rush due to the length of the process. I think at this stage it's harder to weigh up what to do as you have to rely on what your partner is saying, some plead innocence but that isn't always the case but some tell part truths and some tell the full truth, the only way of knowing is if the CPS press charges and then send the evidence to the solicitor and you're allowed to look through it. I hope you and your girls are ok and social services aren't complete f***wits when it comes to dealing with you xx
It's amazing what time can do, even a week! This journey is a rollercoaster. It's absolutely baffling how the process works and how long it is. My partner is 16 months in now after pleading not guilty and it's been such a farce. It's easier said than done but the best advice is to go about life as normal. Either wait and weigh up what you want to do about your relationship and try to work through it or plan a way out on your terms. Either way, there is no immediate rush due to the length of the process. I think at this stage it's harder to weigh up what to do as you have to rely on what your partner is saying, some plead innocence but that isn't always the case but some tell part truths and some tell the full truth, the only way of knowing is if the CPS press charges and then send the evidence to the solicitor and you're allowed to look through it. I hope you and your girls are ok and social services aren't complete f***wits when it comes to dealing with you xx