Help Found Out Brother Has Looked
Notifications OFF
Hi All .
I'm new to all of this ,
My youngest brother (I have 3 brothers) the youngest I was closet to and would message every day ,
He's the only one living with my mother who is terminally ill and also an alcoholic,
I had a phone call from the police asking me to pick up my brother as he had argued with my other brother at my perants house , I live with my partner (no children)
So I agreed he was sobbing and because he had been drinking I left him to sleep , I got up in the morning and was confused at how he was crying uncontrollably and saying he wanted to die ,
It took me 3 hours to get it out of him , he just said "I've been looking at images im not supposed to , I've had to live with this disgusting feeling all my life , I don't want to be here"
I was just shocked I went into auto pilot and took him to the mental health team where they saw to him ,
He said he would never act on it however he has looked at images , he has a 12 year old daughter who adores him ,
I told him that drinking is clearly making him look at them so don't do it,
He then dropped the bombshell that the police had raided my perants house and took every mobile and laptop (I was so angry how my perants didn't tell me),
He then said he had to go to court ,so I said to him you HAVE to get legal representation because you suffer mental health ,they will keep it out of the newspapers and that would stop his daughter getting bullied , and to seek help immediately!!
He chose NOT to do anything instead he drank vodka and stayed in his bedroom in my perants ,
Then my eldest brother sent me a pic of the newspaper saying his name and address and also the charges ,
I felt so sick when I read the charges
1 was of a sexual act with what seems like a dead animal!!!
2 : 52 images cat C
3 : 42 cat A
I've blocked my whole family my mother is using it as an excuse to drink and my dad is in denial ,
I've not just lost my brother but my best friend , even now when something happens I go to message him and then my heart sinks ,
I did ring my dad up the other day and when I asked what happened at court he said "oh he got probation" and fainted in front of the judge as he was so distressed ,
My other brother said he had to stop going there (he was helping my mother) because my brother was in the police interview and he said basically he likes looking at Very young ones getting hurt !!!!
loads of things are gone through my mind , like get help !! Then my mind will start thinking ....
"Has he used my internet" etc etc
Apparently he was caught before by the police , (and it was hidden from me and my other brothers) so why the heck would he do it again ,and my perants are just plodding along and glad he isn't kicking off , he's used my mothers paypal and gambled my dad's wages , etc etc
To me and I imagine a lot more who have had this happen to there family we think "Just DONT look"
I am too embarrassed to talk to a doctor , I have NO ONE to talk to , I live with my other half and have no friends and I have loads of health problems,
Any advice please ,
Has this happened to anyone else
I'm new to all of this ,
My youngest brother (I have 3 brothers) the youngest I was closet to and would message every day ,
He's the only one living with my mother who is terminally ill and also an alcoholic,
I had a phone call from the police asking me to pick up my brother as he had argued with my other brother at my perants house , I live with my partner (no children)
So I agreed he was sobbing and because he had been drinking I left him to sleep , I got up in the morning and was confused at how he was crying uncontrollably and saying he wanted to die ,
It took me 3 hours to get it out of him , he just said "I've been looking at images im not supposed to , I've had to live with this disgusting feeling all my life , I don't want to be here"
I was just shocked I went into auto pilot and took him to the mental health team where they saw to him ,
He said he would never act on it however he has looked at images , he has a 12 year old daughter who adores him ,
I told him that drinking is clearly making him look at them so don't do it,
He then dropped the bombshell that the police had raided my perants house and took every mobile and laptop (I was so angry how my perants didn't tell me),
He then said he had to go to court ,so I said to him you HAVE to get legal representation because you suffer mental health ,they will keep it out of the newspapers and that would stop his daughter getting bullied , and to seek help immediately!!
He chose NOT to do anything instead he drank vodka and stayed in his bedroom in my perants ,
Then my eldest brother sent me a pic of the newspaper saying his name and address and also the charges ,
I felt so sick when I read the charges
1 was of a sexual act with what seems like a dead animal!!!
2 : 52 images cat C
3 : 42 cat A
I've blocked my whole family my mother is using it as an excuse to drink and my dad is in denial ,
I've not just lost my brother but my best friend , even now when something happens I go to message him and then my heart sinks ,
I did ring my dad up the other day and when I asked what happened at court he said "oh he got probation" and fainted in front of the judge as he was so distressed ,
My other brother said he had to stop going there (he was helping my mother) because my brother was in the police interview and he said basically he likes looking at Very young ones getting hurt !!!!
loads of things are gone through my mind , like get help !! Then my mind will start thinking ....
"Has he used my internet" etc etc
Apparently he was caught before by the police , (and it was hidden from me and my other brothers) so why the heck would he do it again ,and my perants are just plodding along and glad he isn't kicking off , he's used my mothers paypal and gambled my dad's wages , etc etc
To me and I imagine a lot more who have had this happen to there family we think "Just DONT look"
I am too embarrassed to talk to a doctor , I have NO ONE to talk to , I live with my other half and have no friends and I have loads of health problems,
Any advice please ,
Has this happened to anyone else
Hi there,
Has your brother undergone Rehabilitation? Not every offender is the same in the reasons why they do these crimes, but rehabilitation is key to prevent them from doing it again.
I would recommend seeking therapy for yourself, there is the stop it so website that has specialists in the field and there is the Lucy faithful helpline - your well-being is very Important and it must be a horrible feeling to think family are keeping things from you. Perhaps therapy will help you break down the barriers with your family to be able to express the hurt you are feeling.
The booze is likely to make things worse for him, but it could also be a coping mechanism for him to 'drown' other aspects of his life, a horrible cycle. He needs support to turn it around to be able to be emotionally resilient.
It is up to you how you proceed, but I do highly recommend discussiing with a professional (when trying the helpline it can take a while to get through, but worth it).
Big hugs
Has your brother undergone Rehabilitation? Not every offender is the same in the reasons why they do these crimes, but rehabilitation is key to prevent them from doing it again.
I would recommend seeking therapy for yourself, there is the stop it so website that has specialists in the field and there is the Lucy faithful helpline - your well-being is very Important and it must be a horrible feeling to think family are keeping things from you. Perhaps therapy will help you break down the barriers with your family to be able to express the hurt you are feeling.
The booze is likely to make things worse for him, but it could also be a coping mechanism for him to 'drown' other aspects of his life, a horrible cycle. He needs support to turn it around to be able to be emotionally resilient.
It is up to you how you proceed, but I do highly recommend discussiing with a professional (when trying the helpline it can take a while to get through, but worth it).
Big hugs
Hey sweetie, sorry your going through this, I'm gonna say one thing, if he's not listening or getting help even though you've pleaded with him you've did all you can, he obviously feels remorse but needs help for his porn addiction too, he can ring helpline and even start doing modules with them, they are so good, my person found this invaluable, they don't judge at all, neither will your gp I hope, took me lots of courage to speak to gp and get help, it's not easy but please please start looking after yourself,. Contact gp, ring helpline, refaral to counselling whatever you think will help you. You can still love him from afar and be there in background fur him but in order to get better he nerds to help himself, my sister was an addict so I know how helpless you must feel, come in here to talk we are all here for you xx