Heart broken
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We had the ICPC today and my 3 beautiful babies are now subject to an CPP. I am devastated, they deserve so much more.
My OH has To move out, he's been staying with my parents but they worry that it will effect them contacting their grandchildren so don't want him in their house. SS have "recommended" supervised contact in the community only so we now have to tell our children that daddy can't live with us anymore.
I want to just scoop my children up and run away. Please tell me that there is a light at the end of this.
My OH has To move out, he's been staying with my parents but they worry that it will effect them contacting their grandchildren so don't want him in their house. SS have "recommended" supervised contact in the community only so we now have to tell our children that daddy can't live with us anymore.
I want to just scoop my children up and run away. Please tell me that there is a light at the end of this.
Hi Confused&Worried,
I'm sorry to hear today did not go as you expected. I cannot offer any sound advice as I'm not dealing with child services but I have learned a few little nuggets which may make the situation a little more bareable.
With regards to the CPP, please try to not feel defeated. My understanding is that any case where there is "potential, suspected or confirmed" sexual abuse will result in a CPP, regardless of any work that has been prior by you and your partner. It is absolutely no reflection of you and is unfortunately, another tick box exercise for them.
A slight silver lining that you have, is that a CPP should offer specialised support to you and your children. I think I recall you saying that two of your children are autistic (hopefully I've remembered correctly) so the social worker should really take into consideration the views of your children if they are restricting access. Remember that child welfare includes physical, mental and emotional states so if your children are struggling, continue to communicate this and put it back to them for solution. Sadly, I do think it's unlikely that he'll be able to return home permanently while the investigation is ongoing but he may be able to return home for dinner time - I have seen this on the forum so know it's possible and the normality will make a huge difference for your children I'm sure.
If you haven't already, I would also suggest reading Jenny Still's Empowering to Protect. She specialised in CSA but was also the Clinical Director at Lucy Faithfull so provides a fair and objective view of the situation. It will also help in understanding why social workers ask particular questions, what they are looking to extract and the 'model' response. My view is that if I'm being assessed, I am entitled to understand the marking criteria.
You have done and are doing really well, a lot better than I was in the first few weeks so be kidn to yourself. You are stronger than you know and there is light at the end of the tunnel. X
I'm sorry to hear today did not go as you expected. I cannot offer any sound advice as I'm not dealing with child services but I have learned a few little nuggets which may make the situation a little more bareable.
With regards to the CPP, please try to not feel defeated. My understanding is that any case where there is "potential, suspected or confirmed" sexual abuse will result in a CPP, regardless of any work that has been prior by you and your partner. It is absolutely no reflection of you and is unfortunately, another tick box exercise for them.
A slight silver lining that you have, is that a CPP should offer specialised support to you and your children. I think I recall you saying that two of your children are autistic (hopefully I've remembered correctly) so the social worker should really take into consideration the views of your children if they are restricting access. Remember that child welfare includes physical, mental and emotional states so if your children are struggling, continue to communicate this and put it back to them for solution. Sadly, I do think it's unlikely that he'll be able to return home permanently while the investigation is ongoing but he may be able to return home for dinner time - I have seen this on the forum so know it's possible and the normality will make a huge difference for your children I'm sure.
If you haven't already, I would also suggest reading Jenny Still's Empowering to Protect. She specialised in CSA but was also the Clinical Director at Lucy Faithfull so provides a fair and objective view of the situation. It will also help in understanding why social workers ask particular questions, what they are looking to extract and the 'model' response. My view is that if I'm being assessed, I am entitled to understand the marking criteria.
You have done and are doing really well, a lot better than I was in the first few weeks so be kidn to yourself. You are stronger than you know and there is light at the end of the tunnel. X
Thank you x