Practical support
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I am totally spiraling right now and feel like there is just no support out there for the partners/families. My person is living with his Dad, accessing councelling and therapy courses, the practicalities of his living arrangements are likely being sorted out by the courts. I am left with the pieces. Two children, living in accomodation tied to his work, which we sold our house and followed him across the country for, which we will loose because he won't be here to do the job.
All the councelling and courses are fantastic but I can't help but feel they will have a greater impact and significance if my childrens roof over their head is secured.
I've called all the agencies, while they are all very friendly they are as much use as a chocolate teapot and it seems that all of this is going to result in my children having to move schools and me having to give up a job that I am 6 months into but have spent years working towards.
To rub salt in the wound, the little bit of savings left from the house sale could be used for rent for a year or so, but he is adamant half of it is his and that he needs it.
He has run up credit card debts over the last year to 18months behind my back! big ones!
My whole body and soul is numb!! All this while trying to hold down a fulltime job!
I wish someone could at least make a tick list of all the things I should be doing to get some kind of control of this situation!
Sorry for the rant :(
All the councelling and courses are fantastic but I can't help but feel they will have a greater impact and significance if my childrens roof over their head is secured.
I've called all the agencies, while they are all very friendly they are as much use as a chocolate teapot and it seems that all of this is going to result in my children having to move schools and me having to give up a job that I am 6 months into but have spent years working towards.
To rub salt in the wound, the little bit of savings left from the house sale could be used for rent for a year or so, but he is adamant half of it is his and that he needs it.
He has run up credit card debts over the last year to 18months behind my back! big ones!
My whole body and soul is numb!! All this while trying to hold down a fulltime job!
I wish someone could at least make a tick list of all the things I should be doing to get some kind of control of this situation!
Sorry for the rant :(
WTAF1000
Rant away lovely this is the place to let your feelings out, we are all here because of our offenders
I cant offer much advise as it is my son who offended
Of course you are feeling all these mixed emotions as you are.the one left to pick up the pieces and having the added worry about your children
We cannot control this journey as it is in the hands of the CPS and the judge,
Have you been able speak to the helpline?
Sending hugs xx
Rant away lovely this is the place to let your feelings out, we are all here because of our offenders
I cant offer much advise as it is my son who offended
Of course you are feeling all these mixed emotions as you are.the one left to pick up the pieces and having the added worry about your children
We cannot control this journey as it is in the hands of the CPS and the judge,
Have you been able speak to the helpline?
Sending hugs xx
Hi,
I completely hear you on the lack of support front. I was lucky that I rent and everything to do with the house is in my name due to living alone with my older children.
The only practical advice that I can give right now is what I wish I'd known at the beginning of all of this. I applied to my local council with a supporting letter from my sw. I did this because I was traumatised from the knock and was sleeping on the sofa at eight months pregnant. They said they couldn't accept this as my children would need to be on a child protection plan with ss and the specific part around housing highlighted. This may not be the same for all councils but definitely check and as much as none of us want ongoing involvement with ss this is something they may be able to assist you with. If you feel that leaving the area and your job would cause your children further distress which if they're anything like mine it would make sure you mention it to the sw. In terms of your savings if you are married or it's a joint account then legally he would be entitled to half. Do check what debts he has run up and if any of it is joint. My ex (older kids father) stopped paying the mortgage and I was liable for that.
The spiralling thing is perfectly normal. If you recognise negative thoughts taking over try distracting yourself. Take care of yourself and your children as priority. Sending love xx
I completely hear you on the lack of support front. I was lucky that I rent and everything to do with the house is in my name due to living alone with my older children.
The only practical advice that I can give right now is what I wish I'd known at the beginning of all of this. I applied to my local council with a supporting letter from my sw. I did this because I was traumatised from the knock and was sleeping on the sofa at eight months pregnant. They said they couldn't accept this as my children would need to be on a child protection plan with ss and the specific part around housing highlighted. This may not be the same for all councils but definitely check and as much as none of us want ongoing involvement with ss this is something they may be able to assist you with. If you feel that leaving the area and your job would cause your children further distress which if they're anything like mine it would make sure you mention it to the sw. In terms of your savings if you are married or it's a joint account then legally he would be entitled to half. Do check what debts he has run up and if any of it is joint. My ex (older kids father) stopped paying the mortgage and I was liable for that.
The spiralling thing is perfectly normal. If you recognise negative thoughts taking over try distracting yourself. Take care of yourself and your children as priority. Sending love xx