Family and Friends Forum

Hi Daffodil

Thanks for sharing this with us, I am sure many members on here have PTSD or had it, me included.

Have you read the 'PTSD Resources' in the LFF Posts section - well worth a read if you haven't yet.

I believe that it lifts significantly once you find out the final outcome of this journey and been through the court system. I believe the being in 'limbo' and for a prolonged period of time allows the trauma to remain and is very difficult to process (and heal) whilst you do not know the final outcome. This is my personal experience but I am sure it resonates with some members on here.

Stay strong x

Completely echo everything Lee said, I don't find you to be anything but real in your responses on here. This journey is certainly a traumatic experience for everyone involved and as families we are seriously lacking in support. I am two years down the line and still have that moment of panic sometimes when the door knocks and I'm not expecting anyone.
Sending love and healing thoughts to you xx

Daffodil,

I hope you manage to find some ways to help deal with your PTSD, if you do come across any tips please do share! I have never noticed anything from you apart from kindness and helpfulness. I think it's probably normal for everyone but for me, a knock at the door sends me into panic and I have to have my phone ready to record and check out the bedroom window to see who it is before I answer, if it's ever someone who isn't knocking for a valid purpose I have to surpress the urge to tear them a new one for making me jump out of my skin and panic! I'm not sure if it's related but I also find myself obsessed with offending - looking at people on their phones and wondering if they are doing any kind of offending whilst also being hypervigilant about safeguarding. I feel broken in this respect and wonder if I will ever be able to go back to how I was before the knock, perhaps when this is all over I will but until then it's obviously on my mind everyday. Something else that bugs me is my envy, I see my friends getting married and having kids and I can't do that right now, I'm not envious in a way I wish harm or begrudge other people happiness but it does hurt knowing that one of the most simple things in life is unobtainable right now and it's for reasons I can't even talk about, people ask me all the time when are you getting married and it's so painful but I just have to make a joke and brush it off. Sorry for trauma dumping, it's that time of the month and I'm a bit emotional today. Everyone on this forum is so fantastic and the strength everyone has is out of this world. Xx

I added the last bit after I pressed send because I've just been added to a Whatsapp group for my friend's wedding and my initial reaction was to roll my eyes. I feel awful, like a terrible person. I also worry because it's later next year and obviously my partner is invited and this group of friends haven't met him. Who knows what will happen by then. Everything is a reminder that the future is uncertain and it's so difficult! I really wouldn't wish this journey on my worst enemy! Xx

What I think is lovely about this forum is that everyone seems so supportive. We are all navigating this, all in unique situations and all with our own personalities and traits. It's impossible to hit a note that will appeal or be helpful to everyone, but for every person it doesn't it will for someone else. It's also only human that we'll inevitable sometimes make the wrong call and perhaps put too much of own needs and emotions into posts and replies, that might actually end up not being helpful but there seems to be a real understanding of what a toll this takes on us and there is forgiveness along the way.

It doesn't surprise me that people will suffer with PTSD having gone through this journey, it seems that most people think they are living a life with someone that is law abiding so any knock would comes as such a huge shock without then being thrown into this very specific world with so many angles of complexities.

I hope you get help and thst things improve for you.

BaffledB I don't think you need to apologise for trauma dumping. This is a space for us all. Sometimes things resonate with us and its an opportunity to offload and share. Similar to you I feel envy with what friends are doing, I don't begrudge them either, but I can't engage in their lives or be as excited as I would like to be. I'm fortunate I'm some ways as I'm able to be be somewhat truthful with them because the end of the relationship was realistically my last chance to have children, close friends knew about my fertility and that we were about to start IVF, so I'm mourning that and feel I can be open about it, which helps - I'm not having to just pretend everything is fine and I'm not going through something that isn't life changing or changes to the future I thought I'd have. Some friends don't know this and I've just avoided social occasions and I'm not sure those friendships will ever recover, but it's what I feel I need to do at the moment and that's all I can do.

It must be so very very difficult and painful to be in the situation you find yourself in. Living a lie is hard and the more intertwined lives are and the longer it drags on, the harder it becomes. I'm relatively fortunate in the situation I'm in, but even I find myself questioning/keeping track what's real and what's not in my life.

Hi Daff

I can only relitraite what everyone else has said

Hugs sent as always

I am the other side of sentancing so the waiting is over to know what sentance my son received, I thought it would calm me somewhat but I am still just so sad all the time at work I go in to my work mode and always have a shoulder for everyone if they need help and support, then I come home and just feel sad!

My sons MH is not great so that plays on my mind

This journey is awful but at least we have the strength and support from so many on here xx

Hugs to everyone here. I hard relate with all of this. I already suffer from mental health issues, depression, anxiety and depersonalization. I found since the knock 10 days ago I'm already loosing great chunks of time. like the other day i thoguht it was just past noon and it was after 6. some days the I blink and the day is over and I have no idea what I did during it.

most people have problems sleeping. but I'm the other end. I'm always tired with it. I got to bed and am straight asleep. and then it's hard to pull myself out of bed 9 or 10 hours later. like really hard to get myself to wake up. and if home I often am then taking a 3 or 4 hour nap in the day. I caught I was doing it and am working hard to be more active and get more fresh air and walk more but it is a real issue.

I'm back to work today and I work a day shift then.over night sleeping shift incase I'm needed.. I'm worried about lost time and spacing out during it. then also about not being able to wake up at 630 tomorrow morning.

I hope I don't develop more over time and all my hugs to the people suffering g from it.

PTSD is so serious. I hope everyone here has access to help. GP or helpline or other charities or groups that can help