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Feeling lost

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GZ

Member since
December 2021

164 posts

Posted Wed August 3, 2022 7:52pmReport post

Our time with social services has been awful, we have been bullied for 8 months and have made no progress.
after having meetings with the manager to complain we have a new social worker, but so much damage has already been done.
we have had a PPR but 4 months on we still have not got the report from it, they have said the recommendations will be that I can supervise in the house, no overnight stays and no unsupervised contact. But we can't do that until they have written the report.

they have said it will be 'years' before my husband can come home, once his community order or sor has finished.

he has a 3 year order, 5 years on the sor and ShPO.

but he has no restrictions regarding children on his ShPO-internet only. His visor and probation support him coming home.
I seems like they are pushing me into taking this to solicitors and courts. I am so angry, how can they wield so much power.

GZ

Member since
December 2021

164 posts

Posted Wed August 3, 2022 8:15pmReport post

It's a person posing risk assessment, done by social services. They did it to see if I could supervise him.
from how they have treated me I am really anxious about saying I'm taking it further as I don't trust they will put it in writing I can supervise if I do.

family rights group suggested having a meeting with the manager but I haven't been able to get through to them since they said it will be years for him to come home.

If he has no legal restrictions against him how can they try to put restrictions on him?

GZ

Member since
December 2021

164 posts

Posted Wed August 3, 2022 10:20pmReport post

We are on a CPP but the manager has said she wants us to be CIN after the next conference, they haven't ever said it's voluntary. They haven't even given me any info about it, they are so bad at giving us any paperwork or information. I've never even signed a copy of the plan. To be honest they have treated me like I'm the criminal.

I have done the Lucy faithful and stop so course, work with safer lives, and see a stopso therapist weekly. My husband has worked with safer lives and sees a stopso therapist weekly. All of this has been off our own back.

it's just so frustrating that when we fight we'll get him home as there is no legal reason he can't be and his professionals are happy. But social services don't work with you, just constantly covering their backs

GZ

Member since
December 2021

164 posts

Posted Thu August 4, 2022 7:08amReport post

He was sentenced for

1)making iioc 2)possession of extreme porn and 3)publishing an extreme article (he sent extreme porn on)

I have done safeguarding courses for work, but I'll have a look on the nspcc at theirs. Our baby is only 1, but I have looked at what to do as she gets older and written it in our safety plan.



I have looked at getting a family solicitor involved and having an independent risk assessment done but don't want to do it if we don't need to as it's so expensive.
they did their own risk assessment but only spoke to my husband twice so it's pretty useless

probation manager have said my husband can go to monthly visits, He's waiting for horizon but hasn't even been accepted onto the waiting list for it yet so his worker has said she'll carry on 2 weekly visits so they can do work so this doesn't hold up anything with ss.

GZ

Member since
December 2021

164 posts

Posted Thu August 4, 2022 7:52amReport post

I've done a data request, still waiting for it as they told the council is wasnt required and cancelled it. So I had to get in touch to say that wasn't true and I wanted it. But when I met the manager she didn't even know I had done the courses etc.

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Thu August 4, 2022 7:57amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Thu August 4, 2022 7:59amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Thu August 4, 2022 8:24amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

GZ

Member since
December 2021

164 posts

Posted Thu August 4, 2022 8:36amReport post

Yeah I have proof, the data request team emailed me confirming my withdrawal as requested by the social work manager.
I emailed straight back and said I did not withdraw it and they had to proceed, they said there must've been some miscommunication and would proceed with it.

but I haven't heard anything from sw about it

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Thu August 4, 2022 8:56amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

GZ

Member since
December 2021

164 posts

Posted Fri August 5, 2022 9:27amReport post

Yeah my first thought is what are they trying to hide.

it feels like everything is in limbo again, waiting for the data request, waiting to supervise, waiting for an assessment

i was so positive after court was over as we got the best outcome possible, but it just feels like ss are out to punish us as my husband didn't get what they wanted. They keep telling me 'he's lucky to have not gone to prison, lucky escape' 'it's very unusual not to have any restrictions' they literally don't know what they are talking about

And I still think they are hoping if they say he can't come home I'll leave him

GZ

Member since
December 2021

164 posts

Posted Fri August 5, 2022 9:53amReport post

I see her every 10 days, which is ridiculous as in 8 months nothing has changed.

Yeah it's only ever by mouth when she visits, I bring up what they say at core groups and they squirm and ignore it. They never say this stuff when it's on record

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri August 5, 2022 10:57amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Thu August 18, 2022 11:35pmReport post

I emailed SW and said that my children had asked for her not to visit anymore as there was no point and didn't see why' I said I understand they have a job to do but as we were CIN and was supposed to be voluntary was there any flexibility? And ended it with I'm wondering What you suggest to make my children more at ease? She didn't reply, weeks went by with no contact (which was great for me!) and then she left. I do wonder what she would have suggested :)