Family and Friends Forum

Daffodil

I can't tell you that "it will be OK", but I can tell you that *you* will be OK. We will all get through this, somehow.

While it feels "too soon" to you, I think personally I would have preferred it to happen more quickly, we are over two years in and still going. No trial til late 2023... :(

Just take it day by day and jump over hurdles as they come. <3

Somewhat understand how you feel today. We hadn't heard anything from the police since my partner was arrested 6 months ago and today got a phone call asking him to come in for a second interview next week as they've now downloaded all the data from his phone. To be honest it was a massive shock as I expected months before hearing anything. As it has been 6 months since we'd heard anything things had started to return to a bit more normality and I'd started to feel a little less anxious and worried but now it's just completely ripped open the wound. Now I'm back in full-on panic mode and can't even function, worrying how much time I have left with my partner before he has to move away. My partner was really doing well, he's been having porn addiction therapy and is enjoying it and finding it useful but I'm worried this will completely set him back. We have no clue what to expect and we're both terrified.



Thinking of you and hoping things get better for you. This journey is one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Part of me wants it to be over but part of me doesn't want to deal with the fall out and consequences that I know will come if his case goes into the media. It's always a constant worry.

I can't tell you it's gonna be OK, when my person had second interview and talked the through the day b4 charges it was terrible. It all hit us up the face again, he was in a terrible state because charges were wrong. But we got through it. It was like being back at the start for me but was OK after a few days. Maybe counselling or talking to a trusted friend might help or just come in here to chat to anyof us on the day or ring helpline xx

We stand united beside you Daffs. Holding you up side by side, just like you hold us up.

This is quick.... but its happening.. we're here for you xxx

Hi Daffodil

How are you feeling today?

Thinking of you. x

Hi Daffodil

Good to hear you have your head switched on today.

I am not surprised yesterday was extra tough as everytime there is an update or contact from the police on this journey, it tends to bring up on the emotions/trauma again right at the forefront, when on good days it is more just simmering away in the background (hope this makes sense!)

The pace of this journey is led by the police/CPS so we can only go along with their timescales. The only thing we can do is be prepared for each stage, which you seem to have totally got organised.

I can relate to your son not fully understanding the full extent of what is going on and being cross that bail dates are changing (as we have autism in our family). No one particulary likes change, but it can so magnified in someone with autism.

You are doing a fantastic job, just also make sure you are looking after yourself as well- it can be so easy to burn yourself out, with being a carer/advocate for your son. x

Hi all, after a bit of advice and to see if anyone has been in a similar position please.

2nd interview beginning of May, no comment given (same as initial interview) 2nd interview police stated found 69 iioc all categories and 1 distribution, solicitor advised no comment as he said they can't prove the distribution. Told it was going to be sent to CPS and we'd hear from them in 4-6 weeks, it's now been 12 weeks, I know there are delays that happen all the time but just wondering (if by any miracle chance) the CPS had maybe decided not to charge due to him not admitting anything and maybe the iioc were too deeply deleted on his phone for him to recover them without specialist software - long shot I know.

Has anyone experienced this or am I clutching at thin air.

Also if CPS didn't charge do they tell you or even tell you if they have gone back to the police for more evidence?

Thanks

NMS it is unlikely the cps won't bring charges now if evidence has been found, it's possible that they've asked for further info or possible they just have a backlog. I would chase it with the oic but sadly I would expect a court date x

Guess what came in the post today.. Charges.

Sorry had to post as too ironic with me asking such a daft question a few days ago.

Feeling like I did at the knock all over again, time to hunt out the big girl knickers again and go face this next stage!

Thank you.

Yes distribution added of 1 x b and 1 x c, he's going to speak to the solicitor today to see what evidence they have.