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I can't do this.

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Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Fri August 5, 2022 10:24pmReport post

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has found the pressure of living apart while trying to have some semblance of a family life difficult? My OH has been sofa surfing, trying to find somewhere more permanent, trying to keep things as normal for the kids, trying to keep SS happy, trying to rebuild trust and communication, trying to keep finances straight, trying be supported by family without being judged, trying to stay sane....... and I feel like I'm failing at it all. My OH seems to find every excuse to "pop in" because SS only "recommend" no contact in the house and when I stop it he blames me. The pity party he throws himself is infuriating. When his head is straight, we communicate better than we have for years, but when it all becomes too much it feels like he is taking it out on me. I so badly want our family to survive this but sometimes I just want to run away, the only problem is that no matter where I go, my head comes to.

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

943 posts

Posted Fri August 5, 2022 10:49pmReport post

Hi,

You're not alone in feeling this way. The six months that my person was on remand was hard but I've found it harder since he's been out and not living with me. Ss have agreed to supervised contact anywhere now but with both my older children not wanting any contact with him I'm feeling like I'm waiting for the holidays to be over so we can do things with little one and he can help me around the house.
It's not fair of your oh to put you in that position of having to stop him coming in. Maybe when you're able to talk calmly to him you should explain that you're not fighting him, you're on the same team but you both need to agree on how you're going to proceed. If you are sticking with ss recommendations that needs to be something that he understands.
I hope things improve for you and want you to know that you're not failing, this situation doesn't come with a manual so we all just learn as we go xx

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Sat August 6, 2022 5:57amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am