Needing advice about living arrangements
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When my OH was released from remand, after sentencing. He got a suspended sentence, the police told me he could initially come to me if I was ok with it and then if not move to his family within the week. His family live around 100 miles away. As he was released from prison late in the evening I agreed for him to come to the house thinking he could go to his family later in the week. But, this is not what probation have said. They have stated he cannot go until they move his probation office. If the new probation office does not accept him then he cannot go. We cannot afford private renting and locally he has nowhere to go. Even if I kick him out we have been told it will be seen as voluntary homelessness. So I am now stuck with him. My adult children who still live at home do not speak to him and I am left to deal with him. I need him to go to be able to sort my own head out and sort out my own mental health. The probation office have not even sent the paperwork yet and its been nearly three weeks since he came home and i am at the end of my tether. It seems everyone is supporting him and I have no support nor are they taking into account my mental health. Home life is horrible as I am in the middle of him and my children. Does anyone have any advice?
I just need this to get my head around what is happening. In my previous post I have mentioned he was arrested and sentenced in three weeks and it has been less that 8 weeks in total even now. I just need space and time to sort myself out and think what I want for long term, but cannot do this with my home life so horrible. Thanks. X
I just need this to get my head around what is happening. In my previous post I have mentioned he was arrested and sentenced in three weeks and it has been less that 8 weeks in total even now. I just need space and time to sort myself out and think what I want for long term, but cannot do this with my home life so horrible. Thanks. X
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Thank you Daffodil. The probation came to the house as part of their risk assessment on my OH and I asked them then. There just does not seem to be any rush for them. I will certainly try and find an email for them and contact them. It is just frustrating to have no control over my life even though I am not the one who has done wrong.
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When my husband moved it took 2-3 weeks for all the probation checks etc to go through. From what I remember the process was something like
current probation office contacted new probation office
current probation officer called me to ensure I was ok with him moving here and that I wasn't being pressured into it
New probation office called me to ensure that I was ok with it etc
date was arranged for first meeting with new probation office and we set the date for moving.
If they are going to move, I would suggest doing so quickly before they start on any work / sessions that way they don't end up with a change of probation office in the middle.
Has he told probation that he plans to move, it's always possible that they are waiting to here that from him directly.
current probation office contacted new probation office
current probation officer called me to ensure I was ok with him moving here and that I wasn't being pressured into it
New probation office called me to ensure that I was ok with it etc
date was arranged for first meeting with new probation office and we set the date for moving.
If they are going to move, I would suggest doing so quickly before they start on any work / sessions that way they don't end up with a change of probation office in the middle.
Has he told probation that he plans to move, it's always possible that they are waiting to here that from him directly.
My OH has already started his community service so now I think they wont let him go until he has completed that. He is already three weeks now into our fourth week, and they have only just sent the request to the new office. He has been asking since his first appointment with them the day after he was released as he did not apply for bail. There is just no urgency for them, only for us.
Just had an update today. The police in the area my OH relative lives has NOT been approved. No idea why at this point. OH says there is no form of appeal. Does anyone have any experience of this? My only option is now to try and re mortgage my home to buy him somewhere to live as he has no money as he lost his job. This has just made an awful situation so much harder.
any advice would be welcome. Thanks. X
any advice would be welcome. Thanks. X
Thank you for you advice. It is just so frustrating as this arrangement would have helped me financially and mentally. Will ring Unlock. It is a house so self contained. The house is further from local schools than where we are living at the moment. Obviously would not know about other people on sor.
Police have come back and denied the move to his relative house, as they state too close to a school. The schools are not overlooked by the property and are further away than my home here. There is no restrictions on him for this written down anywhere.
is there anything i can do about this?
is there anything i can do about this?
How frustrating for you. When my partner and I were looking to move we really didn't think about if the police would have a say in where we can live....maybe it was because it was after his suspended sentence?
I believe my partner told the police liaison we were looking to move but were given no advice on the matter. Thankfully where we live is not near a school, tho I freaked after we moved because Google maps showed there was a nursery nearby but I believe that has since closed down....
Didnt know about the 100m to another on SOR, that is a weird one....
It is near impossible to move somewhere away from a school or places where kids will be. I'm hoping the police see sense and revert their decision.
I believe my partner told the police liaison we were looking to move but were given no advice on the matter. Thankfully where we live is not near a school, tho I freaked after we moved because Google maps showed there was a nursery nearby but I believe that has since closed down....
Didnt know about the 100m to another on SOR, that is a weird one....
It is near impossible to move somewhere away from a school or places where kids will be. I'm hoping the police see sense and revert their decision.
Definitely call Unlock and see what they can advise. If you really want him out you might have to kick him out and then the police will have to find him somewhere.
MagesticTopaz - once they are no longer on license or under probation, the police cannot prevent you from moving to any address you want. You actually only have to notify them afterwards. I had that conversation with my husbands police offender manager / ppu person as I want to move at some point.
MagesticTopaz - once they are no longer on license or under probation, the police cannot prevent you from moving to any address you want. You actually only have to notify them afterwards. I had that conversation with my husbands police offender manager / ppu person as I want to move at some point.
The 100m rule is not written down anywhere. I cannot kick him out. He owns half the house, and this would make him voluntary homeless so no help from the council etc. ans he has no money to rent. His relative was not going to charge him rent so this would have saved us. I am at my wits end.
will ring unlock tomorrow. It just seems so cruel to make us all still live with him when he has done this. No help from anyone and every option we put forward is not allowed. The police here just turned up unannounced today, which they are allowed to do, OH not in so I had to deal with them. Why is no one thinking of me and what I have to deal with. It is just too much and no one cares about me.
sorry i just feel so angry that i have to deal when i do not want to.
Lee i do not know the distances only that the school near his relative is further away than the local schools to us.
will ring unlock tomorrow. It just seems so cruel to make us all still live with him when he has done this. No help from anyone and every option we put forward is not allowed. The police here just turned up unannounced today, which they are allowed to do, OH not in so I had to deal with them. Why is no one thinking of me and what I have to deal with. It is just too much and no one cares about me.
sorry i just feel so angry that i have to deal when i do not want to.
Lee i do not know the distances only that the school near his relative is further away than the local schools to us.
Sorry I am just so stressed with all of this. Thank you for your replies. The school is primary but is two streets away.
I will ring unlock tomorrow. Thank you again and sorry again. X
I will ring unlock tomorrow. Thank you again and sorry again. X