I’m new and need support
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Hi everyone.
i was directed here by a support agency and said you would all be nice and help where possible.
on the weekend my father was video'd by a vigilante group and then subsequently arrested. The video went all over social media quickly and on his account so all his family and friends saw it. I quickly deleted my account. Although I do not live near them or have the same name I panicked.
he has been released with no charge pending further investigation but the anxiety and sickness will not die down. I feel I am carrying this huge burden on me. That everyone I look at knows and is staring at me.
we have no idea what comes next or when, I don't know how harsh people will be - public and authorities. I just wanted to reach out.
i was directed here by a support agency and said you would all be nice and help where possible.
on the weekend my father was video'd by a vigilante group and then subsequently arrested. The video went all over social media quickly and on his account so all his family and friends saw it. I quickly deleted my account. Although I do not live near them or have the same name I panicked.
he has been released with no charge pending further investigation but the anxiety and sickness will not die down. I feel I am carrying this huge burden on me. That everyone I look at knows and is staring at me.
we have no idea what comes next or when, I don't know how harsh people will be - public and authorities. I just wanted to reach out.
I'm so sorry you find yourself here, it's such a shock and particular with the added emotions related to live streaming by vigilantes.
Others will be able to comment and hopefully offer some advice. I know there have been previous posts that have said these groups quickly move on to the next person.
Whilst there are unlikely to be repricussion for you, I think it is best that you've removed yourself from social media, if only as precaution to put your mind at ease - It's one less thing to think about whilst, I'm sure, you have so many questions, thoughts and worries.
There is the helpline you can call that might be helpful for you.
Others will be able to comment and hopefully offer some advice. I know there have been previous posts that have said these groups quickly move on to the next person.
Whilst there are unlikely to be repricussion for you, I think it is best that you've removed yourself from social media, if only as precaution to put your mind at ease - It's one less thing to think about whilst, I'm sure, you have so many questions, thoughts and worries.
There is the helpline you can call that might be helpful for you.
Thanks both for your response.
I was going to ask the police an update as I don't know anything. Do they just turn up in X months time? Also I have kids and I want to protect them as much as possible. I don't want the police just turning up at my house to ask questions.
as I've come off all media I don't know if things are still circulating it'll be attached to his account and it makes me sick
I was going to ask the police an update as I don't know anything. Do they just turn up in X months time? Also I have kids and I want to protect them as much as possible. I don't want the police just turning up at my house to ask questions.
as I've come off all media I don't know if things are still circulating it'll be attached to his account and it makes me sick
Hello,
Sorry you've found yourself here, but welcome.
Your story is horrendous and you must feel sick with worry.
These first few weeks are rough so you must eat and sleep when you can.
The police do what they like but you mention that you live away from your Dad - im not convinced they would have reason to turn up at your home? And if they did they would need a warrent and very, very good reason!
Be careful about chatting to them informally as they glean information this way.
Your Dad should have legal representation and the police will more than likely go through them.
Take each day as it comes. X x
Sorry you've found yourself here, but welcome.
Your story is horrendous and you must feel sick with worry.
These first few weeks are rough so you must eat and sleep when you can.
The police do what they like but you mention that you live away from your Dad - im not convinced they would have reason to turn up at your home? And if they did they would need a warrent and very, very good reason!
Be careful about chatting to them informally as they glean information this way.
Your Dad should have legal representation and the police will more than likely go through them.
Take each day as it comes. X x
If your dad has any contact with your kids the police may have been in touch with social services who will then contact you with regarding contact arrangements. Depending on what you dad is being investigated for, the age of the children, your ability to supervise and reasonableness of social worker they may ask you to ensure they have no contact or only supervised contact. They have no legal power to insist on this without going to court but you might want to seriously consider only supervised contact to protect your dad from possible future accusations regardless of what the social worker says. And obviously if you think there is the slightest doubt they may be at risk.
Our social workers were lovely and very discrete. I agreed to supervised contact because although I didn't think there was a risk I couldn't take that chance. I only ever had one meeting with them.
Not going to lie, it's incredibly difficult but you will find the strength. Just take it day by day, you're in shock. Be careful who you tell but if you have someone you can confide it that will help. Don't make any decisions until you feel stronger and the the initial shock has worn off.
Regardless of how long the police initially tell you it will take it may be months or years. Police told us 6 to 12 weeks. Was over 2 years.
Make sure you eat, try to get some fresh air and some sleep everyday. You need to look after yourself.
Sending hugs. X
Our social workers were lovely and very discrete. I agreed to supervised contact because although I didn't think there was a risk I couldn't take that chance. I only ever had one meeting with them.
Not going to lie, it's incredibly difficult but you will find the strength. Just take it day by day, you're in shock. Be careful who you tell but if you have someone you can confide it that will help. Don't make any decisions until you feel stronger and the the initial shock has worn off.
Regardless of how long the police initially tell you it will take it may be months or years. Police told us 6 to 12 weeks. Was over 2 years.
Make sure you eat, try to get some fresh air and some sleep everyday. You need to look after yourself.
Sending hugs. X
sending love x
Hey there, sorry you're here in our club, it's very warky days and it's a lot to process I understand how it feels. As others have saud social services might be in contact if he had regular contact with your children just to maje you aware, not that you've did anything wrong, just remember you're completely innocent in all of this. I don't k ow why but I still to this day feel guilty even though I've dud nothing wrong, but sometimes people can make yiu feel. This way. I dudnt have vigilantes but I had 4 cop cars at my door early in a sunny sat evening when all neabour were outbwhen my owartner was arrested some even came to door to ask what hwokend!!!! Yiu can imagine what I said!!! It's a long journey so best not to jump. To anything until you here the full facts. Speak to your gp, the helpline if your struggling and be careful who you tell. We are here for you xx
Thank you all.
Just to say there is no contact and if we do go it's once a year.
I have confided in 2 friends plus my boss as my role can be public facing. Work were brilliant, have settled my mind really and reassured me.
I think I'm getting there and do feel some release although know that this is one secret I'll have to take to the grave. I keep thinking about any new relationships I make and what cover ups I will say.
today I've eaten a wee bit and I got some sleep and think it has made a difference.
also didn't speak with anyone as I thought I might.
Just to say there is no contact and if we do go it's once a year.
I have confided in 2 friends plus my boss as my role can be public facing. Work were brilliant, have settled my mind really and reassured me.
I think I'm getting there and do feel some release although know that this is one secret I'll have to take to the grave. I keep thinking about any new relationships I make and what cover ups I will say.
today I've eaten a wee bit and I got some sleep and think it has made a difference.
also didn't speak with anyone as I thought I might.
And I must say this is the biggest shock of my entire life. I've been told some things, gone through some and the shock factor is unreal.
im not surprised people get PTSD from such things
im not surprised people get PTSD from such things
Hiya,
Sorry you find yourself here, I hope you find this forum useful/comforting as I did/do
When we got the knock, I didn't completely remove myself from social media, but I did ensure my identity was secure and set to private. My name on SM isn't my real name anyway for work purposes.
I did reduce my time spent on SM and I must say it given me a sense of calmness, realising I don't need to know what 'others' are doing with their life and concentrate on myself.
I took up yoga and walking and tried to switch my mind off. We waited 21 months for sentencing. The outcome was reported in the local newspaper.
It was then that I felt like we were back at the beginning, the feelings of worry and emense anxiety returned. I felt like everyone knew the secret we had kept for 21 months, the paranoia of thinking everyone was talking about him/us, the worry he was be targeted, driven out of his home (he lives alone). I thought every text was someone wanted to ask if it was true etc...
Now 13 weeks on, not a word as been said. Maybe they haven't read the article, maybe they haven't connected the names, maybe they know but don't want to ask..... you know what I am pass worrying. Life is to short for worrying what people think.
This time is now for repairing family ties and rebuilding our relationship, as its hard to forgive a family member when their actions puts you through so much hurt. But we will get there.
And you will too.
You have got this hun xx we are all here if you need us x
Xxx
Sorry you find yourself here, I hope you find this forum useful/comforting as I did/do
When we got the knock, I didn't completely remove myself from social media, but I did ensure my identity was secure and set to private. My name on SM isn't my real name anyway for work purposes.
I did reduce my time spent on SM and I must say it given me a sense of calmness, realising I don't need to know what 'others' are doing with their life and concentrate on myself.
I took up yoga and walking and tried to switch my mind off. We waited 21 months for sentencing. The outcome was reported in the local newspaper.
It was then that I felt like we were back at the beginning, the feelings of worry and emense anxiety returned. I felt like everyone knew the secret we had kept for 21 months, the paranoia of thinking everyone was talking about him/us, the worry he was be targeted, driven out of his home (he lives alone). I thought every text was someone wanted to ask if it was true etc...
Now 13 weeks on, not a word as been said. Maybe they haven't read the article, maybe they haven't connected the names, maybe they know but don't want to ask..... you know what I am pass worrying. Life is to short for worrying what people think.
This time is now for repairing family ties and rebuilding our relationship, as its hard to forgive a family member when their actions puts you through so much hurt. But we will get there.
And you will too.
You have got this hun xx we are all here if you need us x
Xxx
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