Being released tomorrow
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My ex partner is being released from prison tomorrow after serving 10 months. I'm feeling super stressed. I'm trying not to get involved too much but he keeps calling me and my anxiety is just really starting to take over and I can't think straight.
When he was sentenced he was told he would get support with somewhere to live as he has no where, and would get help with bank account as he always used one of mine. They are releasing him tomorrow with no bank account and no accommodation to stay in. They have said he has to go sit down the council and hope they find him somewhere. They have also told him they don't have time to do a bank account anymore (he's been asking for months) and to go in santander to set up his own account. I feel so annoyed and mad at the total lack of support for him. I know it's not my problem anymore but it's making me feel ill. Has anyone else experienced this???
When he was sentenced he was told he would get support with somewhere to live as he has no where, and would get help with bank account as he always used one of mine. They are releasing him tomorrow with no bank account and no accommodation to stay in. They have said he has to go sit down the council and hope they find him somewhere. They have also told him they don't have time to do a bank account anymore (he's been asking for months) and to go in santander to set up his own account. I feel so annoyed and mad at the total lack of support for him. I know it's not my problem anymore but it's making me feel ill. Has anyone else experienced this???
I shouldn't be in shock by the things I discover anymore, but I can't believe this. On a wider picture, it's no wonder people end up back in prison or with other issues if they are abandoned like this.
It's so vastly different it seems from prison to prison. This seems very different to the support Tabs person's recieved.
I can't offer any advise, but I do really feel for you. The situation and lack of support makes it very hard to just step away.
It's so vastly different it seems from prison to prison. This seems very different to the support Tabs person's recieved.
I can't offer any advise, but I do really feel for you. The situation and lack of support makes it very hard to just step away.
I think it's absolutely shocking. I just don't understand what is being gained by sticking people in a room for 22 hours a day with no support, courses or counselling. It seems crazy to me.
Did your partner find somewhere to live fairly quickly?
My ex doesn't drive so it's frustrating he's being asked to go to all these places tomorrow. He's got probation, bank, jobcentre as well as being expected to sit down the council to find accommodation and there all far away from each other.
I think I just nned to stop thinking about it
Did your partner find somewhere to live fairly quickly?
My ex doesn't drive so it's frustrating he's being asked to go to all these places tomorrow. He's got probation, bank, jobcentre as well as being expected to sit down the council to find accommodation and there all far away from each other.
I think I just nned to stop thinking about it
Sal
I agree with you, there is no consistency at all it's frustrating.
Iv tried hard to. Set boundaries as iv come to the conclusion that I don't want to continue the relationship but how can I do that when all I. Can envision is him sleeping on the streets. Its a very difficult situation. It's a shit situation that I can't wait to see the back of.
I agree with you, there is no consistency at all it's frustrating.
Iv tried hard to. Set boundaries as iv come to the conclusion that I don't want to continue the relationship but how can I do that when all I. Can envision is him sleeping on the streets. Its a very difficult situation. It's a shit situation that I can't wait to see the back of.
Lost I have heard of people convicted of other crimes deliberately reoffending to get themselves off the streets, but I thought this was related to other types of offences and perhaps linked to scenarios where the offender is in a life style / surrounded by criminal activity. It seems that most people convicted of these crimes are otherwise law abiding do, anyone doing this is heart breaking but it's even more of a shift/adjustment for those are otherwise not involved in criminal activity.
That is shocking behaviour from the police. What sort of reason did they give for not allowing certain accommodation? It seems daft given that if he was homeless he could be sleeping anywhere and they'd not know where he was? In fact, how do they keep track of someone if they are homeless and do their checks etc?!
Has your person been able to find work?
It puts such great pressure on the people that surround the offenders. I don't know what will happen with me and my person. Realistically I don't think my life could move on, with or without him, until he's out because it seems if you have no one outside to support and help in small ways, then you are really scuppered. I try not to let this factor in anyway in the decisions I make, but it's hard.
Amelia I really feel for you, its just not possible to switch emotions off. I hope that after the first day he gets at least some sort of help to start rebuilding his life. I hope too that someone can give you some practical information that will help.
That is shocking behaviour from the police. What sort of reason did they give for not allowing certain accommodation? It seems daft given that if he was homeless he could be sleeping anywhere and they'd not know where he was? In fact, how do they keep track of someone if they are homeless and do their checks etc?!
Has your person been able to find work?
It puts such great pressure on the people that surround the offenders. I don't know what will happen with me and my person. Realistically I don't think my life could move on, with or without him, until he's out because it seems if you have no one outside to support and help in small ways, then you are really scuppered. I try not to let this factor in anyway in the decisions I make, but it's hard.
Amelia I really feel for you, its just not possible to switch emotions off. I hope that after the first day he gets at least some sort of help to start rebuilding his life. I hope too that someone can give you some practical information that will help.
These posts - as I've said in the past scare me.
My son still has a long time to serve but he'll have no home or job when released - to survive he will NEED support:(
My son still has a long time to serve but he'll have no home or job when released - to survive he will NEED support:(
Amelia, you mentioned you'd come to a decision the relationship had ended and that you've set boundaries. You also mentioned that the situation he's in and I assume the (forgive me if I'm wrong) the stress of that Iis making you feel sick. If the worry is impacting you and you don't think you'll stop, could you look at setting some slightly different boundaries that would help him overcome some obstacles and in turn help reduce your stress.
I've done many things that could appear to be for him but are actually because they'll help settle my anxiety.
Smile, I really hope they invest more resources and prioritise resources for those that have been away longer and your son gets the support he needs.
I've done many things that could appear to be for him but are actually because they'll help settle my anxiety.
Smile, I really hope they invest more resources and prioritise resources for those that have been away longer and your son gets the support he needs.
Lost, do you mind saying how long your ex was in prison for? I too worry about the trauma and becoming institutionalised. My person will have a huge amount of adjustments to make when he's out, his life will be very different and he will only have me (and that isn't guaranteed).
Thanks for the reassurance - as I've said my sons crime was within our family and I cannot be seen to be supporting him when he's released. So he is on his own.....
he will be on extended license - so I hope support comes with that!
he will be on extended license - so I hope support comes with that!