Help…constant abuse and prisoner in my own house
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Nearly two years of abuse! Tonight broke me the last onslaught of abuse I think I can take! It been continuos broken windows verbally abused where I am humiliated and afraid now in front of kids whereby my kids are taunted by the local kids while I was being grilled and yelled at and god knows what!
I own my own house and the kids dad who co-owns it refuses to agree to sale for me to move! I am a prisoner I shop in the cover of darkness and take kids to school with the larks! My life is not my own and is no life to live!
I am trapped and I don't know what to do! I am at the point of up and leaving with nothing to escape I am a prisoner of somebody elses choice and all I get when I say I am tired of the life I live the constant abuse and fear is go to sleep then! Sarcasm meets my reality to the quiet life he leads!
I don't know what to do I need to find an escape and a way out! My kids cannot return to school where they get continual abuse and I get it all day everyday!
what can I do!
I own my own house and the kids dad who co-owns it refuses to agree to sale for me to move! I am a prisoner I shop in the cover of darkness and take kids to school with the larks! My life is not my own and is no life to live!
I am trapped and I don't know what to do! I am at the point of up and leaving with nothing to escape I am a prisoner of somebody elses choice and all I get when I say I am tired of the life I live the constant abuse and fear is go to sleep then! Sarcasm meets my reality to the quiet life he leads!
I don't know what to do I need to find an escape and a way out! My kids cannot return to school where they get continual abuse and I get it all day everyday!
what can I do!
Oh Lanny this is so sad, please get help, ring the police every time, contact social services, citizens advice, the council, the helpline.
have you got any family you can stay with temporarily? Appoint a solicitor and get some legal advise, surely there is something can be done to make you get out of this hell hole. Please make a list tomorrow and contact them one by one. Good luck x
have you got any family you can stay with temporarily? Appoint a solicitor and get some legal advise, surely there is something can be done to make you get out of this hell hole. Please make a list tomorrow and contact them one by one. Good luck x
My family are all 6 hours away and I will report it for what good that will do with this constabulary! And every time I report it it makes it worse! I will be making a list because I cannot and will not do this anymore!
I feel so trapped and I am the point that I am pretty much held hostage in my own home by circumstance!
thank you for replying I appreciate it to know when I feel at my lowest and alone I am not quite x
I feel so trapped and I am the point that I am pretty much held hostage in my own home by circumstance!
thank you for replying I appreciate it to know when I feel at my lowest and alone I am not quite x
Like Jayjay said get legal advice. You say your family are 6 hours away, can you not make that journey and stay with some one until this is sorted? I am so sorry you are suffering like this.
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Hi Lanny,
I'm so sorry that you do not feel safe in your own home. It sounds like the community around you are truly vile...I have no words.
As everyone else suggested, continue to contact the police whenever a situation arises and it may be worth reaching out to your local MP and highlighting the dismissive attitude of your constabularly. It is not acceptable that it is continuing to happen.
From a legal perspective, if you and your ex-husband (I assume) co-own and he wants to keep the house, then he has to buy you out. Even if you have paid off your mortgage, you are still entitled to 50% of it's current market value as you co-own. I'm not sure what your relationship is like and no doubt this option will cause some more stress but it's about looking after you and your children. A solictor would be able to help you here.
Take care of yourself. X
I'm so sorry that you do not feel safe in your own home. It sounds like the community around you are truly vile...I have no words.
As everyone else suggested, continue to contact the police whenever a situation arises and it may be worth reaching out to your local MP and highlighting the dismissive attitude of your constabularly. It is not acceptable that it is continuing to happen.
From a legal perspective, if you and your ex-husband (I assume) co-own and he wants to keep the house, then he has to buy you out. Even if you have paid off your mortgage, you are still entitled to 50% of it's current market value as you co-own. I'm not sure what your relationship is like and no doubt this option will cause some more stress but it's about looking after you and your children. A solictor would be able to help you here.
Take care of yourself. X
Oh My goodness, you poor woman, who are these people to treat an innocent woman like this and her children? It's so unfair, are they stupid? Obviously have nothing but hatred in their hearts and nothing better to do it's so terrible. Like daff said can you not let the house out? Move to be close to family, nothing is worth that abuse and torture of morons. My heart goes out to you. A similar thing happened at the top of my estate, things written everywhere, but they got out to a safe house eventually which is so unfair. Hope you get this nightmare sorted soon xx
Lanny,
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm not 100% on your situation or reasoning for not selling the house and I know it's hard to let go of things you've worked hard for but sometimes it's better if you do, I lost out on thousands - not to mention the blood, sweat and tears I put in to renovating on my house with my ex and it felt like a punishment on top of the punishment my life was being with him BUT, almost 5 years later I have replaced everything pretty much & I am happier and healthier (granted, I'm now on this hellhole rollercoaster but there we go!).
Can you contact a refuge agency or Women's Aid? I've known a couple of women in situations where they've been given a house and a decent sum of money to kit it out. Like I said I'm not fully sure of your situation but maybe you need a fresh start elsewhere. Sending love and hugs xx
- sorry I've just read it's the kids Dad who refuses to sell it. Contact Citizens Advice, there must be a way out! Xx
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm not 100% on your situation or reasoning for not selling the house and I know it's hard to let go of things you've worked hard for but sometimes it's better if you do, I lost out on thousands - not to mention the blood, sweat and tears I put in to renovating on my house with my ex and it felt like a punishment on top of the punishment my life was being with him BUT, almost 5 years later I have replaced everything pretty much & I am happier and healthier (granted, I'm now on this hellhole rollercoaster but there we go!).
Can you contact a refuge agency or Women's Aid? I've known a couple of women in situations where they've been given a house and a decent sum of money to kit it out. Like I said I'm not fully sure of your situation but maybe you need a fresh start elsewhere. Sending love and hugs xx
- sorry I've just read it's the kids Dad who refuses to sell it. Contact Citizens Advice, there must be a way out! Xx
Hi Lanny
Wanted to reach out and sent my love to you and your family.
I am so sorry you are going through this, I cannot understand how people can be so cruel. Even the offenders don't deserve this treatment. Vigilante groups make my blood boil, they do more harm then good to innocent family members.
Looks like the lovely people on here have given you some great advice.
I agree with the following advice. Enquire about
* Renting out your property
* Contact Women's Aid/Refuse for support/advise
* Get a Solicitor to see if you can force a sale of your house.
* Stay with relatives if you can x
You and your children deserve to be happy.
We are all here if you need us x
Xxx
Wanted to reach out and sent my love to you and your family.
I am so sorry you are going through this, I cannot understand how people can be so cruel. Even the offenders don't deserve this treatment. Vigilante groups make my blood boil, they do more harm then good to innocent family members.
Looks like the lovely people on here have given you some great advice.
I agree with the following advice. Enquire about
* Renting out your property
* Contact Women's Aid/Refuse for support/advise
* Get a Solicitor to see if you can force a sale of your house.
* Stay with relatives if you can x
You and your children deserve to be happy.
We are all here if you need us x
Xxx
Hey Lanny how are you? X
Hi am so sorry your going though this I was in the same situation as you my windows getting put out my car getting vandalised I couldn't even go in my garden to put washing out I had to get locks put on my windows and doors also my letter box I just applied for loads of private rents because I was going to be put out of my house if I let my ex come round and see hes children because of the nature of the crime they didn't want him to visit.
if you need someone advice or just a chat please reach out stay strong x
if you need someone advice or just a chat please reach out stay strong x
I don't have any answers but I am so so sorry that you are being treated this way.
I don't understand the mentality of these people or why they target others.
Cornish Tea x
I don't understand the mentality of these people or why they target others.
Cornish Tea x
Been battling through i apologise I have been hanging shadows.
Harbour are involved but it's long process still in house but working on this! I have found out much to do with his case through court release of sting and well I have now made my positioning clear. While I do not discredit he may have had compounding issues leading to the crime he has been convicted for I have made it clear that I wish to be let alone to live my life in peace to heal and regroup. I have applied for divorce as I cannot condone what I have found out and from listening to him talk he doesn't seem to be remorseful. In face of it he sees this as my fault and that I pushed him to it! I fail to understand even when he knew I was a survivor and my full story much of which even my parents don't and he took images of me indecently asleep vulnerable in bed sent images of me naked to the decoy anf also videos of which were taken during sexual intercourse. (I didn't know about videos police didn't notify me I found out in court). Although I don't wish to hurt him I have chosen to proceed and pursue report this element to the police and my wish to pursue prosecution! It hurts me because th slice that exists for the man I thought wouldn't send things like that to anyone let alone a child plagues and haunts me! But I have two girls and a son k don't want them to grow uk and think this is alright.
I am tired of fighting but surviving! I am making a stand while it breaks my soula nd heart to do so because love isn't so easy to remove! From the bottom of my heart thank you all x
Harbour are involved but it's long process still in house but working on this! I have found out much to do with his case through court release of sting and well I have now made my positioning clear. While I do not discredit he may have had compounding issues leading to the crime he has been convicted for I have made it clear that I wish to be let alone to live my life in peace to heal and regroup. I have applied for divorce as I cannot condone what I have found out and from listening to him talk he doesn't seem to be remorseful. In face of it he sees this as my fault and that I pushed him to it! I fail to understand even when he knew I was a survivor and my full story much of which even my parents don't and he took images of me indecently asleep vulnerable in bed sent images of me naked to the decoy anf also videos of which were taken during sexual intercourse. (I didn't know about videos police didn't notify me I found out in court). Although I don't wish to hurt him I have chosen to proceed and pursue report this element to the police and my wish to pursue prosecution! It hurts me because th slice that exists for the man I thought wouldn't send things like that to anyone let alone a child plagues and haunts me! But I have two girls and a son k don't want them to grow uk and think this is alright.
I am tired of fighting but surviving! I am making a stand while it breaks my soula nd heart to do so because love isn't so easy to remove! From the bottom of my heart thank you all x