Family and Friends Forum

CornishTea

Member since
August 2019

91 posts

Posted Mon August 15, 2022 7:35pmReport post

Hi,

So it's a week since my husbands case hit the local paper and was helpfully shared in a neighbourhood Facebook group.
No repercussions up to now. However the neighbours have clearly seen it, no eye contact etc. Normally would wave, say hello etc.

is it worth me going to see them? Or am I just wasting my time. Do I have to accept that if we remain here they are just not going to speak to us.

Cornish Tea

Katie28

Member since
December 2021

181 posts

Posted Mon August 15, 2022 9:01pmReport post

Hi Cornish,

We live in a small close and have not had any contact with our neighbours since December. To be honest we were never involved with anyone other than to say hello etc. My husband's case was in the press last year and at Christmas we never received any Christmas cards at all from all but one of our neighbours who knew what had happened. I like yourself contemplated explaining to them but decided against as I really felt I wasn't in a good place to answer questions and worse still face the criticism and expressions of shame and disgust that I had received from some family members. We can live with the head bowing and fortunately have not had any serious repercussions up to now.We are happy keeping ourselves to ourselves. The people that matter to us both know. As Lee said it really does depend on your previous relationship with them. We have a ring doorbell now so if either of us is having a bad day we can check who is around before we leave the house, we are fortunate again our house is not overlooked and we can access our car quickly on the drive if needed. Xx

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

633 posts

Posted Mon August 15, 2022 9:12pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun November 19, 2023 8:30pm

Katie28

Member since
December 2021

181 posts

Posted Mon August 15, 2022 9:47pmReport post

Bitterbean I would definitely recommend it. It provided so much reassurance despite my counsellor believing I had become obsessed with checking it and thought it a good idea to not check it as often as I did. 9 months down the line I don't check it as often as I did but do keep an eye on it. I used to have the notification on loud and every bit of motion outside would cause an alarm, now I just check it periodically unless someone knocks on the door and I check it first before I answer. It was probably the best investment I made last year. X

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

633 posts

Posted Mon August 15, 2022 9:56pmReport post

Katie thanks, it's a good tip. My anxiety levels are through the rof at the moment and I'll try anything that helps

CornishTea

Member since
August 2019

91 posts

Posted Mon August 15, 2022 9:56pmReport post

Thanks, I think you are probably right, it's just not worth it and am not really sure what it would achieve other than potentially giving them more info to gossip about.



We have a ring doorbell and also a ring security camera which covers the front of the house. We have had the doorbell a while but fitted the other camera prior to the court case as I wanted the added security. Definitely worth it for peace of mind.



Thanks again

Prinsess

Member since
February 2021

41 posts

Posted Tue August 16, 2022 9:20pmReport post

Hi betterbean

I wouldn't be without my ring doorbell and ring cctv it's the best thing I baought and it's also been a life saver because I had my windows put out my car vandalised people would come day and night and shout abuse out side my home.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2492 posts

Posted Wed August 17, 2022 4:24amReport post

Good morning Cornish Tea -Bet that's a relief having no reaction - I know we were terrified during our media exposure.

good advice, yes just step back and time will tell they possibly will come round - it's hard but I've learnt you really do have to respect others opinions. Don't stress by thinking you have to tell everyone your life story - it'll naturally settle with time. Chin up x

Edited Wed August 17, 2022 4:25am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Thu August 18, 2022 6:56amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am