Family and Friends Forum

Bettyboo65

Member since
June 2022

337 posts

Posted Thu August 18, 2022 8:16pmReport post

Hi, I don't post often but today I'm feeling like there mightn't be a tomorrow :(

we're 10 months in and I can feel the world collapsing on us, it feels like we're running out of time and life. We don't know what will happen but I don't see a future beoynd today, my OH hasn't seen a future since the knock and struggles daily.

I've tried to be upbeat and think positive but recently if there was a button to press to close the my light I would press it.

Sorry for the negativity but just struggling the last few days xx

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Thu August 18, 2022 9:20pmReport post

Please never feel there is no future. It will not be forever, try to read some of the positive posts on here and remember, there is always the samaritans if you need someone to talk too.

There are people who will listen and understand.

Please try to look after yourself x

Xxx

Member since
March 2022

439 posts

Posted Thu August 18, 2022 9:56pmReport post

Sorry your feeling like that :( I have no advise or any help but just want you to know your not alone. I feel the same . If I ever have a few minutes of normall or happyness with my children I then have a shock thought like what am I doing have I forgot my world about to be turned upside down . One day I think screw everyone and there options . The next that's all I worry about the hurt and the upset the bills and the family .

But we will make it threw were strong and havnt chose to be were we are today but we have to fight and get through this we only have one life we need to make it the best we can after its nearly been shattered .

I'm not sure of your story . But I'm just over a year in and my god it's been horrible.i want it to be over asap but at the same time this time we have now noone knows .



Big hugs . Always here if you need a chat xxx

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Thu August 18, 2022 11:20pmReport post

Please seek some help. It sounds like you both need some therapy. Have yous rang the helpline? Has he done the module on LFF?
As suggested read the positive posts that there is life beyond this whatever you decide to do x

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Fri August 19, 2022 12:26amReport post

Betty you're not alone.xx

You are amongst people who understand. We all understand.

This is the most horrendous journey.

I am no where near the end and struggling myself - I have sought therapy for myself after months of supporting my son and not myself... if I'm coming through this I have to help myself too.

I have a friend who understands every step we go through, talking to her makes my world a better place.. do you have anyone? Keep reaching out on here. Post 5 times a day if you need to! (Soz LF) please don't struggle alone xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2492 posts

Posted Fri August 19, 2022 4:08amReport post

Hi BettyBo - life feels pretty foul on and off throughout this road we are all on. Like the ladies say, although a different future you have one too and that sun will shine for you again.

I send you my hand to squeeze x

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri August 19, 2022 6:28amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Bettyboo65

Member since
June 2022

337 posts

Posted Fri August 19, 2022 12:35pmReport post

Hi, thank you all for the kind and thoughtful comments.

this journey is horrendous and I cannot wait for it to be over but not sure we can get through the avalanche that is coming. It helps to release anger on here and frustration, why does it take so long for heaven's sake.

My Other person is having therapy and has contacted LFF and has a new job and new people in his life, since the knock in October 2021 he has struggled with issues he has never spoken of until now to his therapist, he is now almost in a good place and rebuilding his life from early trauma and struggles with self esteem and confidence. If he were not RUI and in the position he is in now with continuing therapy I would be elated and my world would be amazing, then we remember every day that he is currently RUI with no end date :(

Since the knock he has hit rock bottom, releasing emotions from childhood that we didnt know about - it has taken the knock and the consequences for him to realise he does need counselling and he is having a session every week which is helping massively. I love him unconditionally and always and forever and keep telling him I will never desert him ever, no matter what

Chatting on here helps massively so I thank you all for being there

xx

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

633 posts

Posted Fri August 19, 2022 2:31pmReport post

Betty boo

Agreed, the wait time is inhumane.

Bettyboo65

Member since
June 2022

337 posts

Posted Fri August 19, 2022 5:32pmReport post

Bitterbean, yes the wait is inhumane, it's as though the police and legals involved are punishing them before they even get to the charges stage. Why does it take so long !!! We could have had it all done and dealt with and be on the road to some normality but instead we are fearing every knock and every letter that arrives and have done every day for the past 10 months xx

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

633 posts

Posted Fri August 19, 2022 6:17pmReport post

Bettyboo

I think the court backlogs extend well before covid and covid didn't help. But the forensic examination of devices is also backlogged and takes forever, and there doesn't seem to be any rush by the police to get these things to court and for the courts to set dates

Edited Wed January 4, 2023 8:07pm

Bettyboo65

Member since
June 2022

337 posts

Posted Sat August 20, 2022 8:29pmReport post

Hi Bitterbean, gosh late 2023 ????, can I ask when you had the knock and your story?

To get the knock is hell in itself isn't it and my person was suicidal straight after that, I had to go to a local railway station at 1am when a lovely person had helped my person off the tracks and called me, I'm just so grateful the train was coming into the station and saw him and I don't want to think about what might have been ????. He is now in a better place with therapy but I know that soon it will all erupt again after him trying so very hard to keep strong and keep alive this past 10 months . It's just so wrong that hard work is done and we'll be back to square one at some point. They should be given more help and guidance and surely the length of time waiting and the work done should be taken into account but we know it isn't xx

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

633 posts

Posted Sat August 20, 2022 8:36pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed January 4, 2023 8:07pm

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Sat August 20, 2022 9:34pmReport post

Ladies I just wanted to share that my initial journey was fairly quick as I bugged the life out of the oic. Tell them how depressed you are, how you can't move on with your life, how you appreciate the excellent job that they do but if they can push you to the front of the queue you'd be forever grateful. Keep them on side but lay it on thick. It's worth a shot, we were 8 months from knock to sentencing x

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

633 posts

Posted Sat August 20, 2022 10:49pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed January 4, 2023 8:07pm