Lonely
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We are coming to the end, in court the end of the month. This has been 18months since the knock on the door came I was at work and my son who it involved was also at work. My son has Autism and I can't get my head around why he did this and every time we have to see the his barrister I have a major anxiety attack. My daughter wants me to disown him and has said she will never speak to him again and it's so hard as we are all under the same roof and I feel torn between the two of them. The barrister has said he will try and keep him out of prison, but I am not so sure he will be able too. I feel like running away or just going to bed and never waking up
I didn't want to read and not comment, but I wish I could help, It's so hard but one thing I say to my family members who struggle like your daughter, is They are not a bad person, They are a good person that has done a bad thing. They have been caught and are dealing with and will deal with the consequences. Not everyone who is convicted of these crimes are P words, it's so easy to go down the rabbit hole with porn. Take care Xxx
Hi
I agree with Carmela. My OH sister really struggled with the situation, I keep telling her to hate the sin and not the sinner. The more she has been open to speaking to him, the more she has understood and now is very supportive of him.
I have 2 children with ASD so completely empathise with you. Also that fact that he may struggle to communicate how he ended up in this situation must be very difficult for everyone x
I agree with Carmela. My OH sister really struggled with the situation, I keep telling her to hate the sin and not the sinner. The more she has been open to speaking to him, the more she has understood and now is very supportive of him.
I have 2 children with ASD so completely empathise with you. Also that fact that he may struggle to communicate how he ended up in this situation must be very difficult for everyone x
Tiktok
I have found out myself recently how hard it is when this crime divides families. It really hurts.
I think the only thing you and your daughter can do for the time being is accept one another's viewpoint and that it is different to the other. I have had to accept that another family member wants nothing to do with my partner, and another wants nothing to do with either me and my partner. I will not condemn them for that, just accept they have a different point of view. But it still hurts.
I have bad days and good days. I also have days when I don't want to get up or wish I could turn a dial and go back to my old life. This morning started as a bad day, and has ended in a better one, in part because of the support I have had from this forum. Hang in there.
I have found out myself recently how hard it is when this crime divides families. It really hurts.
I think the only thing you and your daughter can do for the time being is accept one another's viewpoint and that it is different to the other. I have had to accept that another family member wants nothing to do with my partner, and another wants nothing to do with either me and my partner. I will not condemn them for that, just accept they have a different point of view. But it still hurts.
I have bad days and good days. I also have days when I don't want to get up or wish I could turn a dial and go back to my old life. This morning started as a bad day, and has ended in a better one, in part because of the support I have had from this forum. Hang in there.
Thank you all for your support, I thought I was all alone and I am so anxious all the time
Hi Tiktok
I am so sorry you find yourself here but you have come to the right place for support from the forum.
Have you been in contact with the helpline at all over the last 18 months? Has your son been able to make contact with them? If you haven't made contact with them it would be good for you and your son to contact them. They may be able to offer you support/help with your current situation of being torn between your son and daughter which must be very difficult for you.
Have you done a character reference for your son that the barrister can give to the judge when you go to crown court? I am only saying this as it is also an opportunity for you to explain how autism affects him on a daily basis and areas of life that he finds more challenging. It is important that they have an overall picture of your son.
Thinking of you and your son.
I am so sorry you find yourself here but you have come to the right place for support from the forum.
Have you been in contact with the helpline at all over the last 18 months? Has your son been able to make contact with them? If you haven't made contact with them it would be good for you and your son to contact them. They may be able to offer you support/help with your current situation of being torn between your son and daughter which must be very difficult for you.
Have you done a character reference for your son that the barrister can give to the judge when you go to crown court? I am only saying this as it is also an opportunity for you to explain how autism affects him on a daily basis and areas of life that he finds more challenging. It is important that they have an overall picture of your son.
Thinking of you and your son.
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My son was always said to have autistic traits and hyperactivity, he so immature at times for his age. He has a job which he has to be so focus so when he gets home is when he then lets of steam and he comes home, he becomes very loud and silly. I have found his statement of Educational needs, which shows how he was when he started secondary school and what input he needed. I am hoping this will help and that a learning disability doesn't just go away and impacts the whole of their lives all life long. I tried talking to my daughter and explained that he was a good person, who had done a bad thing and all she said is he is a nonce????
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