Family and Friends Forum

Hi Kat,

Is it ss that have said supervised contact for an hour a week? Have you done any courses or has your partner? You can let ss know that you will work with them but you're aware that they cannot legally place restrictions on either of you. I have an eighteen month old and whilst contact was allowed from sentencing and her birth it was written in a way that was interpreted as his parents had to be present too. I've recently fought this and I'm now allowed to supervise with no restrictions on time or location of contact.
As I cannot afford to pay for an independent risk assessment at present I will not push for unsupervised contact just now. Have a read online to find any information about how ss do their assessments, my local authority say they take a holistic and strengths based approach so not just focusing on the presenting issue but weighing up strengths or protective factors against any dangers or risks. They may not agree to any changes until after charges or the outcome of court but it's worth asking the question.
What support have you been given by ss? If you are on a plan there should be clear things that need to happen for this to be resolved to either a lesser plan or case closed with a safety plan in place. An hour a week seems harsh, if they have concerns about whether you would leave baby alone with dad if contact was more than an hour at a time then you could request that the number of times a week is increased initially. I would recommend writing a safety plan. I'll bump another thread on the discussion and support section for you to take some information from that. Mine is incredibly basic; Baby remains with me at all times including trips to the bathroom or emergency situations, any affection to be supervised and led by baby so if she will never be asked to give daddy a hug or kiss goodbye etc, I'll do age appropriate work with her as she gets older NSPCC pants work so she learns how to keep herself safe and I do all of her personal care. I started to write a massive safety plan for all eventualities but essentially if these basic things are followed then the other stuff will be encompassed in that. It helps that I have two older children from a previous relationship so they had more to base my parenting ability on. I hope this helps you. It can be achieved and if he is found guilty then his shpo needs to be appropriate to the offence so will likely not contain any physical restrictions just internet. Sending love xx

Edit, it's in this section under can ss tell you something that's not true

Morning,

Who supervises in the council building? What work do they want dad to do and how often are they reviewing/meeting? Do you have any notes from the meetings or initial assessment? Have they said why you can't supervise? Ask for everything via email so you have a paper trail. They absolutely should not be threatening to remove your child especially at investigation stage where no charges have been brought yet and you are cooperating with them. I understand the incident in the car went against their recommendations so you may have a harder time proving to them that in an emergency situation you will continue to make your child'a safety a priority. Have a look at safeguarding courses for you to do. There are some free ones online and I believe the NSPCC have one available for around £25. Please continue to use the forum and ask whatever questions you need to. The discussion and support section generally has more people on it so you'll get more answers and from all different perspectives xx

I'm glad you've found things that could be beneficial to you. I'd say in terms of dads risk assessment this should not be done by ss. I know there are a few that work with ss for court proceedings and that Lucy Faithfull also offer the service. I've looked at Steve Lowe but will have to save to find it myself as ss haven't requested that one be done as they are confident in my ability to protect and I'm not pushing for unsupervised contact. Make sure that everyone is in agreement of the assessor and their qualifications and also what you and ss would like to be included in it. For me, I would like to know if there is an attraction to children, the risk posed to our daughter and the risk of reoffending. Ss may want different things to be covered in yours but it's important that you research and identify if there is anything else you would like the assessment to cover. Most of them do a capability to protect assessment for partners or anyone wishing to supervise too. I will add that my older children don't have contact so we're not at the stage of him living at home but ss have said that we now don't need to contact them until he does move in and have closed the case. We are 18 months post sentencing but this change from ss has given us the flexibility to live a relatively normal life for our daughter. I hope that you achieve what you'd like to for you and your family xx