Confused partners
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You are not alone in this. I am post sentencing but finding it hard to trust again. When my OH is on his phone I find myself checking what he is doing. Being at home feels like I am living with a stranger, but also I am aware how much I know about him. It just feels surreal. I am just taking things day by day, as I do not know the outcome. I wish it was that easy to make a decision.
I am envious of people who know what they want, stay or leave. My decision chnages daily and and i feel its this indecision that is keeping me down. But, it is too huge a decision to make without being sure. So my advice......I got to this part part and did not know what to say. All I can say is that I am making myself re intregate with the outside world. Taking control of things that are within my control and hoping that one day I will know the answer to this dilemma. Hope this helps a little. X
I am envious of people who know what they want, stay or leave. My decision chnages daily and and i feel its this indecision that is keeping me down. But, it is too huge a decision to make without being sure. So my advice......I got to this part part and did not know what to say. All I can say is that I am making myself re intregate with the outside world. Taking control of things that are within my control and hoping that one day I will know the answer to this dilemma. Hope this helps a little. X
Webb89 and GreenYellow
It's no consolation to either of you, but it's good to know I am not alone in my ambivalent feelings towards my partner.
Some days I am consumed by anger about what has happened, and his role it it, other days I feell sorry for him. Other days I feel affection, but when he is off on the computer paying bills or emailing his pals etc, I find myself checking up on what he is doing.
Although I think my partner is innocent, I have read about the different categories of illegal images and I wish I hadn't, I feel sickened by it. Once your trust has been shattered, it takes a long time to get it back. There is currently no physical component to our relationship. I'm not sure there ever will be, but I think I would find that hard with anyone else, too. So it's not much of a relationship really, I'm just providing moral support I guess
It's no consolation to either of you, but it's good to know I am not alone in my ambivalent feelings towards my partner.
Some days I am consumed by anger about what has happened, and his role it it, other days I feell sorry for him. Other days I feel affection, but when he is off on the computer paying bills or emailing his pals etc, I find myself checking up on what he is doing.
Although I think my partner is innocent, I have read about the different categories of illegal images and I wish I hadn't, I feel sickened by it. Once your trust has been shattered, it takes a long time to get it back. There is currently no physical component to our relationship. I'm not sure there ever will be, but I think I would find that hard with anyone else, too. So it's not much of a relationship really, I'm just providing moral support I guess
Same here. It's awful. I want it to be a clear cut stay or leave. Sadly that will never happen. I had trust issues anyway, more so now.
I feel like a pushover for potentially staying. People I've told, even if they are being supportive, I feel like they are judging me, even though they might not be. I feel trapped. Head v heart. I love him, but I feel so let down and if I stay I feel like I'm letting him off easily.
I don't want to be in this position still in a years time, life's too short but I love him x
I feel like a pushover for potentially staying. People I've told, even if they are being supportive, I feel like they are judging me, even though they might not be. I feel trapped. Head v heart. I love him, but I feel so let down and if I stay I feel like I'm letting him off easily.
I don't want to be in this position still in a years time, life's too short but I love him x
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There is so much of my situation in these replies. Butterbean by saying that there is no intimacy but cannot see myself with anyone else to Jayjay saying feeling judged. I feel my life is a fish bowl, where everyone seems to think they have a right to judge my actions. I know people mean well, but they do not realise (and how can they) how this makes this journey harder.
And though these messages cannot physically help, it is some confort to know that I am not the only one having a time making a decision. It is a small step on not feeling so alone.
And though these messages cannot physically help, it is some confort to know that I am not the only one having a time making a decision. It is a small step on not feeling so alone.
Completely agree and resonate with everything. Feel guilty if I leave him. Feel judged if I stay. I worry people think I'm being naive or manipulated if I support him. Its an awful situation to be put in. Still trying to process all of the thoughts and emotions 8 months after the knock.
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