Family and Friends Forum

Hi It's about 8 wks since we had "the knock". I will give a brief description of my circumstances. My partner (fiancé) of 8yrs owned up and was arrested and taken away by the police for interview about viewing IIOC online. I was told that he had also taken photos of my daughter when she about 13/14 (she's 19 now) when she was asleep and topless! Shocked doesn't even cover what we have been through but I've had time to processes and that does help a little.

My question is do I tell her dad? So far I haven't as I'm worried he might get himself in trouble if he ever sees my ex. He's not a violent man but he's very tall and well built (he used to play rugby!) and my ex is small in comparison, so he could hurt him VERY badly.
I feel guilty constantly for not telling him and know he is going to be cross when I eventually tell him when all the legal stuff has been dealt with but that could be more than a year away!! I've come close to telling him a few times as I see him from time to time as we still get on ok. It's like the longer time passes the worse I feel for not telling him!

I haven't had any details about what exactly is on my ex's devices and if he distributed the pics he took of my daughter....I hope to god he hasn't!!! It should be around October time that I will find out according to the police.

Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice please.



thank you

Hi, Thank you for your replies, yes my daughter knows. She agrees with me that we shouldn't tell her dad, not because she doesn't want him to know, but in case he gets into trouble for possibly attacking my ex which would be likely because of what he did to his little girl. It's just so hard to know what to do. The police have advised us not to tell him but they said if we want to then we can. It's just the fact that this process takes so long and the longer we don't tell him the harder it gets and more guilt that I feel.

Xx