Fears Going Forward
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A new fear is dominating my thoughts now, press coverage. My OH is getting stressed about it too.
I have worked for my employer for over 30 years and have some close friendships with colleagues. We have also mixed with my work friends as a couple and my OH is also well known. I work from home but I am well known by many at work.
This is my initial fear that someone at work will find out if when we get to charges, sentencing act it will be covered in the press.
The other is my neighbours finding out. We have lived here over 30 years and are known to many. I am friendly with my neighbours on one side and they have small children. My OH is housebound so he has no direct contact.
Today a lovely incident happened but it made me very sad, we have new neighbour the other side and there is a baby at the address. I have greeted the members of the household with smiles and taken in some parcels. I had also commented to the lady next door about how gorgeous her child was. We have had a couple of quick interactions and they all seem lovely. Today she knocked with the baby and explained that she was getting the child christened soon, she only had her Sister and was wondering if I would be a godmother, I was so taken aback, she said I had been so nice that she thought of me. I am not at all religious so explained this but said it was so lovely to be thought of. We had a laugh about it and she went.
I came indoors and just sobbed, it was such a lovely thing to be asked but my head was just thinking what if she knew about my OH, what would she think then. I always wanted children but was medically unable. We have got grown up nieces & Nephews and I love them so much. I love little ones and it's a joy to interact with them but I just think my interaction with children will have to change, I will need to back away at no fault of my own.
I know it may not make the press but it might. My OH doesn't leave the house and no longer touches social media so it will be me dealing with the stigma of it all if it does. I am a good person and have done nothing wrong.
I understand that this is all a long way off but I have had so much running around my head and it won't go away.
I have worked for my employer for over 30 years and have some close friendships with colleagues. We have also mixed with my work friends as a couple and my OH is also well known. I work from home but I am well known by many at work.
This is my initial fear that someone at work will find out if when we get to charges, sentencing act it will be covered in the press.
The other is my neighbours finding out. We have lived here over 30 years and are known to many. I am friendly with my neighbours on one side and they have small children. My OH is housebound so he has no direct contact.
Today a lovely incident happened but it made me very sad, we have new neighbour the other side and there is a baby at the address. I have greeted the members of the household with smiles and taken in some parcels. I had also commented to the lady next door about how gorgeous her child was. We have had a couple of quick interactions and they all seem lovely. Today she knocked with the baby and explained that she was getting the child christened soon, she only had her Sister and was wondering if I would be a godmother, I was so taken aback, she said I had been so nice that she thought of me. I am not at all religious so explained this but said it was so lovely to be thought of. We had a laugh about it and she went.
I came indoors and just sobbed, it was such a lovely thing to be asked but my head was just thinking what if she knew about my OH, what would she think then. I always wanted children but was medically unable. We have got grown up nieces & Nephews and I love them so much. I love little ones and it's a joy to interact with them but I just think my interaction with children will have to change, I will need to back away at no fault of my own.
I know it may not make the press but it might. My OH doesn't leave the house and no longer touches social media so it will be me dealing with the stigma of it all if it does. I am a good person and have done nothing wrong.
I understand that this is all a long way off but I have had so much running around my head and it won't go away.
Hi D53
I think everyone on here fears the media and people finding out. I definitely did, it was my biggest fear and if I am honest it still is.
My brother was sentenced on a Friday in May and it was in the paper, 2nd page big writing, by the Monday.... I felt like I was going to have a breakdown when my mum told me and I bracing myself for the fallout but nothing happened....I have no idea if people just don't read the news these days or they have read it but haven't said anything to me.... I am still worried now if I see someone I haven't seen and I wait for them to say something.
My advice is don't look at the news online or in the paper. Make sure your SM accounts are set at private so only friends/family can contact you direct. Or just come off SM, its quite refreshing.
Don't look to far forward, you will only worry yourself... and repeat!! It will be ok xxx
Xx
I think everyone on here fears the media and people finding out. I definitely did, it was my biggest fear and if I am honest it still is.
My brother was sentenced on a Friday in May and it was in the paper, 2nd page big writing, by the Monday.... I felt like I was going to have a breakdown when my mum told me and I bracing myself for the fallout but nothing happened....I have no idea if people just don't read the news these days or they have read it but haven't said anything to me.... I am still worried now if I see someone I haven't seen and I wait for them to say something.
My advice is don't look at the news online or in the paper. Make sure your SM accounts are set at private so only friends/family can contact you direct. Or just come off SM, its quite refreshing.
Don't look to far forward, you will only worry yourself... and repeat!! It will be ok xxx
Xx
Dear Sadsister22
Thank you so much. I am going to try and put it at the back of my brain. Have way more to worry about.
Take care.
Thank you so much. I am going to try and put it at the back of my brain. Have way more to worry about.
Take care.
I understand your worry about interacting with children in the future. I visited a very good friend recently, it was very hot so both children just running around naked, we played in the garden and I bathed both of them. I wonder whether if she knew, whether she'd still be comfortable. My nieces and nephews come to mine for sleepovers too or I take them in days out - This is fine now, but I wonder how my siblings would feel if they knew the truth. I feel like I'm treasuring every moment with them at the moment because when my partner is released I know thet would be unable to stay with us or visit our home (I'd never put my siblings in a situation where I asked them to decide whether they felt comfortable).
In reality I think everyone's response to partners (and offenders) will be different.
How lovely that you were asked to be God Mother.
In reality I think everyone's response to partners (and offenders) will be different.
How lovely that you were asked to be God Mother.