POSITIVE DAY
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Have had a busy weekend reading through the information on here and other sites like Theknock etc. Could tell my OH was mildly irratated by me spending so much time on it especially yesterday (Sunday). I in return was getting irratated that he was on our PS5 all day while I was trying to sort my brain out.
Well this morning I decided to sort our printer out as wanted to print some of the modules out for OH to do. Hate printers!!! I suddenly got upset thinking about the knock and how awful it was and started to cry. Couldn't help it, I just sobbed. My OH responded, not in a comforting way but in a "not this again" way. So I lost it and told hm how I felt, I told him I was sick of him avoiding the topic and burying his head in the sand. He ended up in tears and I slammed around the kitchen for a while. When it all calmed down we had an honest chat and I told him that I wanted him to read the section Online behaviour of another adult on here so that he could understand more about my side and get vital information for us moving forward.
He did sit and read through the whole section whilst I tackled the printer. It finished with us having a conversation about what we need to do to help ourselves get through it. I sent an email regarding the Lucy Faithfull Foundation Course as my OH is housebound and would have to do it from home.
I think it cleared the air and it was a positive day I think. All the printing was not great for the enviroment but I have got it all nicely placed in a folder (Stationery addict) for my OH to go through in his own time.
I ended by reassuring him that I was going nowhere and that we would get through this together. He agreed to be more understanding when I get upset or angry. Another plus is I didn't smash the printer up!!
Well this morning I decided to sort our printer out as wanted to print some of the modules out for OH to do. Hate printers!!! I suddenly got upset thinking about the knock and how awful it was and started to cry. Couldn't help it, I just sobbed. My OH responded, not in a comforting way but in a "not this again" way. So I lost it and told hm how I felt, I told him I was sick of him avoiding the topic and burying his head in the sand. He ended up in tears and I slammed around the kitchen for a while. When it all calmed down we had an honest chat and I told him that I wanted him to read the section Online behaviour of another adult on here so that he could understand more about my side and get vital information for us moving forward.
He did sit and read through the whole section whilst I tackled the printer. It finished with us having a conversation about what we need to do to help ourselves get through it. I sent an email regarding the Lucy Faithfull Foundation Course as my OH is housebound and would have to do it from home.
I think it cleared the air and it was a positive day I think. All the printing was not great for the enviroment but I have got it all nicely placed in a folder (Stationery addict) for my OH to go through in his own time.
I ended by reassuring him that I was going nowhere and that we would get through this together. He agreed to be more understanding when I get upset or angry. Another plus is I didn't smash the printer up!!
My partners therapist spent quite a lot of time talking to him about betrayal trauma. That I'd have all these pieces of information - What I thought life was, what I thought was the truth. Then the stuff he'd thrown in with this offending and his dishonesty. She explained it I think in a way that all the paper that was nicely filed, had been thrown up in the air and I was then going to have to try and file it again and that I'd need his help, honestly and patience to do it. To this day I think he refers back to it, I do too. When I have questions he tries hard to answer them as well as be can, when he struggles I remind him of why I need it. It isn't beating him up for the same thing over and over, it'd piecing the gaps together, replacing the chaos with the truth.
I'm glad you found today useful. And yep... Home printers are a bloody pain. I print a letter to my person every week and dread the printer because its do hit and miss.
I'm glad you found today useful. And yep... Home printers are a bloody pain. I print a letter to my person every week and dread the printer because its do hit and miss.
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